~ Forward Slash“What about me? Or states that I can't be in some of them OR he will kill me!!”
~ And on Or
Or, mined in several locations around the world, gives people the freedom to choose which one. It is not as popular as its cousin And presumably because most people are greedy bastards.
History of Or
Around 3 million years ago, the earliest humans had to take whatever was presented to them. Meat, poison, David Dickinson -- cavemen had to suck it up and deal with it all. Then, mysteriously, a transparent rectangular slab (actually the first fragment of Or) appeared by the riverbank. Suddenly, the people could choose between this OR, or that!
And it came to pass that they chose 'That'.
Thus verily forth wandered sweaty Neanderthals with bad hair & halitosis throwing bones in the air like it's right clever like. This trait prevails today amongst chavs, butchers and Leo Sayer fans. An enlightened humosimianoid realised that if he ate enough mushrooms he could see it in slow motion too!
In enlightened societies, like Greece, people began to carry little chunks of Or around their necks. Or was very valuable and those who didn't own any Or were hunted down like witches. Also in third world countries where people are tortured for fun, you are given a choice if you want to have your self burned alive or have you balls cut off by a small weasel. The joy of choice in these countries is limited and it is rumored that Or resents this fact. Later with the invention of T.V. or was used to decide which package the cable company screws you with.
Composition of Or
It is thought Or is comprised of the letters O and R and most experts now agree with this. This has led many to believe that Or in fact stands for obese rhino, which is logical because the rhino presumably has the choice to be obese or not to be obese. There is no evidence of this though and therefore the theory should be approached carefully, preferably with a gun.
Additionally, the two letters form a covalent bond spanning over 110km tilting 4 degrees Celsius slightly towards northeast. As a result, OR is an unstable gas and tends to be extremely irrational. This can be easily found in debates over "nature or nurture", where the answer is "both".
Uses of Or
The main use of Or is that it enables people to choose between an unpleasant task such as watching Simon Cowell and suicide. A recent survey carried out by the White House concluded that 100% of the American population would choose suicide which begs the question as to why American Idol is so popular. Most agree that Or is not publicized enough and this has led to most people being ignorant of the existence of the material. Critics of the survey cite the fact that the number of people questioned was only 1 but they are unable to follow up with why this is important.
Millions of people living in Southern States of America blame Or for allowing people to choose between sexualities. They claim that since Or does not appear in the Bible it should not be taken seriously and this is clear from the fact that less than 0% of the Christian population of the world own a single item of Or jewelry. Another criticism is that many Or miners work in terrible conditions and are not allowed to use what they mine and therefore have no choice at all. Michael Jackson is the most prominent anti-Or spokesman and he believes that children are being made "impure" by the right to choose.