Odex
" The fun does not begin from double-sixing people, it begins when the moolas start pouring in. (o.o)y "~Adolf Stepchicken Sing on an interview by KNN News .
" Our products are nothing but top quality! (o.o)y " ~ Adolf Stepchicken Sing on Odex products despite being proven otherwise.
" Our apple juice makes us 100 million monies and creates 500 babies every month (o.o)g " ~ Peter bin GOsama on his apple juice family business, which is based in China and Shitgapore.
The Creation[edit | edit source]
Founded in the year of 1998, in the gracious law-abiding land of Shitgapore (Some said the company was found in Roswell ,Nevada or Area 51 and doubted it's existence ) by two people, better known as the fathers of propaganda, Adolf Stepchicken Sing and Peter Bin GOsama, the company has been well known for its distribution of B-grade movie type quality animations in the SE&A region.
Odex has made a name for itself for the use of farm animals and monkeys as part of its main production staff. It is not surprising as its founders have various far-reaching relationships with animals
Adolf Stepchicken Sing was rumoured to have been born from the copulation between his human farmer father and his half-human half-chicken mother. He was raised in a farm barn during his childhood. Many claim that it is the reason he resembles a hen so much. There are rumours that the reason Adolf Stepchicken Sing likes to sign off with the (o.o)y is because the letter "Y" looks like a hen's claws. Many have wondered whether Adolf inherited human hands or chicken claws from his parents but so far Adolf has yet to release any information on it although he promised to do so in 2007, in a bid to attract attention to his ODEX forum.
Peter Bin GOsama grew up eating chicken wings and drinking chicken blood as part of the traditions and rituals of the GOsama clan, handed down from generation to generation. He lived his entire childhood in the mountains of China, where he was trained in various propaganda techniques and in the art of making hentai pillow covers for his deviant desires. The exact location of the secret training grounds are unknown but there have been rumours claiming that it is located near to the "New Lakeside Holdings Limited" company building that his parents, Abdull GOsama Twan Heng and Ho Kam Har, built using straw and stones together with the Three Little Pigs. When Peter grew into a teenager, he was also trained in the art of fresh fruit juice squeezing by his father in the "New Lakeside" building. When the Big Bad Wolf tried to blow his "New Lakeside" company building down, Peter managed to defeat the Big Bad Wolf by throwing a big vial of his freshly squeezed concentrated acidified apple juice into the Wolf's eyes. However, the victory was not without losses as two of the Three Little Pigs were gunned down by the Big Bad Wolf.
There are rumours that Peter Bin GOsama is plotting to eat Adolf Stepchicken Sing one day, but Peter has denied all allegations against him and has threatened to send poisoned apple juice to the homes of those who continue to propagate this rumour.
Prior to this company's founding, the two leaders once ran an underground illegal arms accessories company known as Games Market. It was swiftly closed down by Robo Lee's Singapore Police Force.
In 2007, it came into controversy for the launch of their operation, codenamed: "ANIMATION HOLOCAUST".
In 2009, it once again came into controversy for the launch of the operation, codenamed: "COVERT HENTAI MERCHANDISE".
Operation Animation Holocaust[edit | edit source]
During the first half of 2007, the leaders of ODEX held a highly classified meeting with their local anti piracy agency AVP&S. The meeting concluded with a decision to start an upfront assault of Shitgaporeans who have downloaded fansubs of Japanese anime. Most of the victims interviewed have said that it was due to the monkeys on peanuts translators which ODEX hired.(The company was downsized though, due to the fact that the Shitgapore army regulars could still keel over from watching their translations.)
It was revealed from one of the sources that the cause of this operation might be due to ODEX's loss in income and causing them to have difficulties funding the nuclear program in North Korea, with which they plan to take over the world with. The operation was named Operation Animation Holocaust and together, Odex partnered with US&A's Internet tracking company ButtTSP to gather intelligence and IPs before buying a black market court order to demand IP addresses from the Interweb Silly Providers.
The SSingra "Massacre"[edit | edit source]
Once the order was obtained, they swiftly whipped out their ODEXnote, and quickly wrote the names of the victims in it. Love letters were quickly and silently sent out in the dark of the night by SSingra, a death god bound to the ODEXnote.
SSingra feeds on money, but only within the range of $3,000 to $5,000 Shitgapore Dollars. That was the amount demanded from each victim, or SSingra would commence with its fully-poseable legal action scythe.
SSingra was also known to hold hostages, demanding their parents to pay instead. A very prominent case was the merciless kidnapping of a 9-year-old and threatening to make him watch ODEX subs to destroy his knowledge of the English language, until his parents fed it. SSingra shows no remorse nor feelings in attacking even a 9-year-old.
The first wave started in early June, up till mid July.
The Shitgaporeans Fight Back[edit | edit source]
A few of the unhappy Shitgaporeans from the village of Hardware Zone bought poisoned apple juice and dildos from the supermarket with the plan to use them to burn down Adolf Stepchicken Sing's house and beat his mother. However, Adolf complained to Robo Lee's Singapore Police Force that this was not fair play according to the rules of soccer, and Robo Lee's Singapore Police Force gave those Shitgaporeans a red card each and banned them from buying poisoned apple juice and dildos for one year.
This was the beginning of the rise of a faction willing to battle with ODEX.
The Tengins / Moonhub "Massacre"[edit | edit source]
The number of casualties rose steadily, as Tengins fed ODEX with IP addresses with consent, supposedly after a one-night(-gay)-stand. ODEX fed the victims to SSingra via ODEXnote. Soon, the ambitions of ODEX grew as their wealth increased, and they started to eye the brood of another Interweb Silly Provider, Moonhub.
Moonhub put up a fight, sort of. It had already built a wooden fence around itself but the wooden fence was no match for the strength that SSingra had gained from the first batch of victims. When SSingra reached the doorsteps of Moonhub, Moonhub gave up its resistance and opened the door for SSingra. Its brood was snatched from their cradles by SSingra, and phase two commenced.
Sensing a war, the members of Shitgapore Anime faction started to band together to fight this monstrosity. The States Time faction was holding them back though, through cunning tactics employed by ODEX. Undeterred, Shitgapore Anime continued setting up turrets to fire from afar. Some members decided on radio towers to reach other isolated citizens in the name of information. The faction came to be known as XEDODefense.
As all that happened, SSingra swept through the country at night, leaving countless of other citizens awake and afraid at night, while attending "settlement sum meetings" during the day, with its fully-poseable legal action scythe glimmering behind each victim's head.
The "Odex Forum" Brain-Washing Facility[edit | edit source]
With public outrage and dissent growing each day, ODEX found itself with an increasing number of enemies and opponents. As a counterattack, ODEX leader Adolf Stepchicken Sing ordered 200 monkeys and chickens, which Peter bin GOsama had enslaved earlier, to build The "Odex Forum" Brain-Washing Facility overnight. None of the animals that helped build the facility managed to survive the ordeal.
In an attempt to lure young boys into the facility, Adolf Stepchicken Sing held live broadcasts at the Odex Forum and promised to reveal the truth to whether he inherited human hands or chicken claws from his parents. Although he managed to lure 2 young boys who were into beastiality to his facility, he has yet to uphold his promise of revealing the truth. With the failure of the initial lure attempts, ODEX changed its plan to kidnapping young boys.
Those that were taken into the facility were brainwashed by forcing them to watch non-stop ODEX-made anime over a period of 5 days. However, success was limited. Only 2 boys (the first two who came forward) joined ODEX's ranks of troops at the end.
The Battle of BFC-ZY[edit | edit source]
A minor skirmish during Odex's Operation Anime Holocaust.
ODEX leader, Peter bin GOsama decided to attempt to ally themselves with the Board of Fucking Crazy Zebras & Yaffles (BFC-ZY) corporation of Shitgapore as the BFC-ZY had a large army of Zebras and Yaffles under its command, which have the potential to turn the tide of the battle via effective massive land and air attacks. To accomplish this, Peter arranged for meeting with the BFC-ZY leaders, Tan Lee Shingz and Tan Boomz Cheng, over a dinner at Sakura Buffet. Thinking that it would be easy to get the BFC-ZY on his side, he proudly announced through propaganda posters that the alliance was formed even though he had yet to meet the BFC-ZY leaders.
However, XEDODefense had anticipated this. It arranged a secret meeting with the BFC-ZY leaders one day before their meeting with ODEX and presented them with 5000 Twinkies as a gift in return for their alliance. When Peter met up with the BFC-ZY leaders, he only presented them with 4999 Twinkies and incurred their wrath as they felt Peter was being stingy with his Twinkies. As a result, BFC-ZY lauched a skirmish against ODEX by sending letters to mainstream and tabloid newspapers to inform Shitgaporeans about Peter's stinginess.
This made Peter bin GOsama very angry and he blew two blood vessels in his head over it. However, Peter miraculously recovered soon after Adolf Stepchicken Sing fed him two chicken wings.
The Battle of Pacmendy[edit | edit source]
Soon, SSingra grew bored of feeding on the same type of brood all day. It yearned for a new exotic flavour; the last Interweb Silly Provider left untouched - PacMan. The invasion wasn't going to be easy as thought, as SSingra bounced headfirst into PacMan's readily armed titanium-reinforced gates, Pacmen's drill-armed lawyers piercing through the heavens! As SSingra was forced to retreat, ODEX decided to call for backup by purchasing yet another black market order, but was stopped in the path by the bouncer and resident disc jockey, DJ Earnest. It seemed that they had "no rights" to do so, except for the single one that they have bought, "GSD".
The Shitgapore Anime faction cheered and opened bottles of champagne over this small but important victory against ODEX. PacMan was also very happy as more Shitgaporeans started supporting them by becoming its subcribers. This caused PacMan's Power Level to increase to 30 million and go up to the next level, hence unlocking the ability that allows it to hide its Power Level.
Meanwhile, Tengins began to regret its previous betrayal as angered Shitgaporeans began to catapult bee hives into its office. They tried to appease the masses by asking one of its gay secks partners, Robo Lee, to tell the States Times to publish an article to say that Tengins did not give consent to ODEX. However, the Shitgaporeans were too busy and having too much fun catapulting bee hives into Tengins office to care about Tengin's article. As a result, numerous Tengins employees were reported to have multiple bee stings, of which one of them strangely had a urinary tract infection manifest, which required a 10-hour surgery.
At around the same time, Moonhub started rebuilding its wooden fencing around itself again. Moonhub tried to invite the last remaining pig of the Three Little Pigs to help in the building of its fencing, but the Little Pig flatly rejected its invitation. The Little Pig was so used to the climate in the remote regions of China that it thought it would melt into liquid pig if it came to Shitgapore, which had a hot climate.
The Defeat and Decline of Odex[edit | edit source]
Beaten back, but not giving up, ODEX decided to recruit foreign talents, a move favoured by the government of Shitgapore. They brought in artilleries from Japan, who fired behind concealed locations, and set up sniper positions to continue firing from the dark. One sniper position was recently discovered to be known as the "Phone Call" position. Victims who declined to feeding SSingra would have their phones ring, and when picked up, have a shot fired through his/her head through the phone. However, none of the bullets made it through to the victim's phones. Coincidentally, multitudes of abandoned phones with bullet holes in their mouthpiece were found littered around the command centre.
Having weakened the enemy this time, they march once more into the black market, and brushed past DJ Earnest, but met with a catastrophic situation: they didn't bring enough change,all they had were 1000 dollar Shitgapore notes; the Black Market Order was bought through a vending machine. They had no choice but to retreat.
Morale of Odex's leaders were greatly flatten. This was the opportunity the once victims of Operation: Animation Holocaust had been waiting. They band together to form the Frredom Fighter Alliance, striking a deadly blow to odex with their X-virus. THEY TOOK OUT THEIR WEBSITE. Their only communications system they had. Other providers just didn't like them. Without any names for the ODEXnote. SSingra was growing restless. Knowing that they are in grave danger from their once destructive weapon. They had since gone into hiding in the mountains of China, where Peter bin GOsama underwent his training during his childhood.
Operation Covert Hentai Merchandise[edit | edit source]
According to secret sources, which cannot be revealed to ensure their safety, the ODEX leaders, Peter bin GOsama and Adolf Stepchicken Sing, have been training their army in the art of making hentai pillow covers, which Peter perfected during his childhood, during their time hiding in the mountains of China.
Due to the previous crushing defeat and existing backlash from the Shitgapore Anime faction, ODEX leaders decided to perform covert operations this time round instead of openly publicized operations. They have also decided to use the name Takashimaya instead of ODEX this time round so that nobody would know their true identity. The codename for the operation is "Operation Covert Hentai Merchandise".
Hentai Pillow Cases & Anime Toys[edit | edit source]
The secret sources have reported that the main plan of the operation is to infiltrate the homes of Shitgaporeans by making hentai pillow covers in the mountains of China and then selling them in Shitgapore to Shitgaporean boys in their puberty and Shitgaporean MAN-children because hentai is highly demanded by them.
Their reports also indicate that the key part of the plan is to hide pinhole cameras and voice recorders hidden in the hentai pillow covers. Once the infiltration is complete, ODEX will use the hidden cameras and voice recorders to record footage of the boys and MAN-children in the acts of masturbation and downloading of anime, which ODEX will later use for blackmail to get money to fund its war efforts. There have already been a few videos of such recordings leaked by ODEX because those people featured in the recordings refused to pay the blackmail money to ODEX.
There have also been reports by spys from the XEDODefense faction of sightings of ODEX also mass-producing hentai anime toys in the mountains of China. Some examples include a Domo-kun plushie with its mouth wide open with a tag that says "I Luv Gay Secks" and a Saber figurine which has removable clothes and a permanently-fixed strap-on dildo. There are speculations that there may be pinhole cameras in that dildo.
The Covert Return of ODEX - as Takashimaya[edit | edit source]
In the second half of 2009, after SSingra become so bored that it returned to its own world, ODEX resurfaced and began the selling of its anime merchandise under the name of Takashimaya in numerous Figurine Shops across Shitgapore and in events such the Anime Festival Asia and the Takashimaya Toy Fair. ODEX targetted events like those because those events attracted so many Shitgaporean boys and MAN-children that their Power Levels if added together would be worth over 40 million. This amount of power would be sufficient to overpower Son Goku, one of the key leaders of the XEDODefense faction, and make him eat 2 million soggy biscuits.
The ten "golden rule " of Odex[edit | edit source]
Though much of their actions at Operation Anime Freedom is condemned by Shitgapore animation fans , Adolf Stepchicken Sing and Peter Bin GOsama adopts a strictly followed Standard Operation Procedure and named it " The ten golden rule of Odex "
1) Thou shall fine young consumers but not industry pirated distributors as they are too big for you to take on .
2) Thou shall report any threats made against the company or the management on cyber net or real life , no matter how minor it is .
3) Thou shall push the blame to other employed workers or government parties if any consumers question your actions in the Operation .
4)Thou shall NOT audit or disclose how much money is earned in Operation Anime Freedom .
5)Thou shall not believe and hire in Public Relations as you represent yourself and the company .
6)Thou shall believe in propganda and must make consumers believe your products are nothing else but top quality .
7) Thou shall proclaim yourself as a saint follower/believer in Anti piracy and illegal downloaders your devils .
8)Thou shall deny any wrongdoing of your acts in the Operation if any .
9)Thou shall glorify your acts in the Operation and crackdown of illegal downloaders to national media .
10)Thou shall deny that the above rules does not exist .
Quality of Odex's product and Connections with Fansubs.[edit | edit source]
Most animation fans agree with the notion that Odex has asked Nigerian 419 and China TVB& scammers to subtitle their crappy animation products. Either that or 1000 monkeys. It was also believed that the video of their animation products looked as though it was recorded from a TV channel in a warzone. This has given ODEX a new viable route of income as a few war movie directors have approached ODEX about their animation technology.
Connections with Fansubs[edit | edit source]
After the failed attempt at stealing PacMan's brood, ODEX returned to stealing fansub translations and dug itself a bigger grave with gold spades bought from SSingra's regurgitation, even though ODEX used the ODEXnote to catch fansub downloaders. This time, they stole subtitles from A.F.K subs for the anime "The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi", widely regarded as TEH ANIMU OF 2006.
The theft and subsequent worse proof-checking by the monkey on peanuts led to Haruhi sinking into a deep depression, rather than melancholy. The S.O.S Brigade was disbanded, and Hare Hare Yukai was never to be danced again.
Due to that, fanboys of Haruhi in Singapore banded together to form the KI-Dan, solely for striking at the ODEX forums when Adolf Stepchicken Sing makes a rare appearance to (o.o)y in the threads.
Odex and charity[edit | edit source]
The company is aiming to be a major contributor to charity as of early September, Adolf Stepchicken Sing and Peter Bin GOsama, the leaders, stated that whatever SSingra barfs out from overfeeding due to Operation Animation Freedom will be donated to one of Shitgapore's Charity and one of the beneficiary included will be Mr T.T Durian, who was very fortunate to be hired by a company in Abu Gharib with a monthly salary of $20,000 Shitgapore dollars after he scammed the National Kidneystone Foundation of donors' monies.
Other References[edit | edit source]
 | |
| Birth Date | S22 / 06 / 745A |
|---|---|
| Birth Place | Made in China |
| Nationality | China |
| Death Date | Maybe yesterday |
| Occupation | ODEX Leader |
| Religion | Chickeneating & Apple Juice Making |
 | |
| Birth Date | S72 / 37 / 725G |
|---|---|
| Birth Place | Made in Shitgapore |
| Nationality | Otaku |
| Occupation | ODEX Vice-leader |
| Religion | Downloading Fansubs |