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~ The Narrator on Narratorism.

Listen. Listen. Lis-hey, listen! LISTEN YOU PRICK, THIS IS SERIOUS SHIT! Narratorism is an obscure religion which is actually not bad, but all the other religions make fun of it because it says nothing in its holy book about killing prostitutes. So what? Hookers are fun man, what the hell is your problem? Oh, that's it isn't it? Hell. Fuck you, other religions, who think they're so great because they kill people so they don't go to this 'hell' place. Why don't yu all just piss of 'cause I'm sick of you all shouting at everyone and killing and stealing and raping. That's my job, and I got a family to feed. Believe it of not, this one one of the reasons Narratorism was invented in the first place; to shut that prick God up, or at least his servants.

Brief History, like you care. Shouldn't you be studying or something?[edit | edit source]

The Narratorist churce was formed a couple of years ago after its benefactor realised that all other religions are shit 'cause all they want to do it kill each other. Since then Narratorism had openly protestested against all of these crappy beliefs, as if some dude would fight for decades in a long and costly war to rescue his sluttly wife who has been captured by a ponce who won't die. It ust sounds like something from The Wizard of Oz when the monkeys appear. The Narratorist church began to respond to violence after a few years 'cause people are stupid, and don't respond to protests. You'd have thought these crappy activist who are just bored students would have realised now, instead of gathering in the fuckin' roads so I can't get home from work. Get out of my way you dirty little rats, I should just run ou all over! Get your fuckin' hands off the bonnet you little diseased prick! Sorry; anyway, The Narratorists began small, things like keying the popes car, drawing a moustache on Bhudda, that sort of thing. They would have done something to the Muslims but they've already fucked their country right up aready. Goddamn students! Now Narratorism had worked its way up to buying guns from arms dealers and shooting people 'cause people are stoopid. My God they are so stupid.

Belief[edit | edit source]

The Narratorists believe in a etheral being called The Narrator, who personifies Himself as a persons inner monolouge, thusly earning the title Narrator. Got that? God, you better have 'cause I'm sick of explaining the same goddamn thing to fuckin' idiots. You ain't an idiot are you? Narratorism is based on the concept that, given enough mental strength the better side of human nature can overcome the evil of the heart. They have existed long enough to realise that some fuckers are beyond saving and require being put to the earth for the betterment of humankind. I think it's a lost cause, look around, see what we do. We're animals, naught but mongrels needing to be put to sleep, why? why is it so hard to do the right thing? You're all so obsessed in trying to spew your ballsack contents over each other, or try and make the boy next to you look at you for more than five goddamn seconds, if not you start crying. We're devolving into feral beasts, less than human. Less than animal. The narratorism realises that destroying people for the sake of moral standards is quite a drastic measure, but no other choice is available, as you all care about money and how you all look in the mirror, I hope they get you too.

Myths[edit | edit source]

The most ironic thing of all is that when such an event takes place; when another evil rat is caught and slain the authorities have the audacity to blame terror networks, though they have no affliation with the now dead bastard. Maybe if you put the fuckin' pieces together you'd understand. Most of these events go unnoticed by the public; just another fat suit jumped from his office to you guys right? wrong, you dick. These events are mostly facilitate by Narratorists, crafted to look like accidents. The suit was probably thrown out of that fuckin' window 'cause he was a fat peice of womanising bigotry.