Uncyclopedia:Manuel of Style
¡Hola! I am Manuel, sometimes known as Manuel of Style. I am what gives Uncyclopedia its salsa flavor!
You might expect this article to teach you a little something about style. But style cannot be taught. Nor can it be learned! Style can only be held in your arms and caressed, like the slender frame of a young senorita, or a ripe pineapple, ready for to be made into the salsa!
No, I cannot teach you the style, tontito. I could teach you to leap from adobe rooftop to adobe rooftop, or to slice a mango so finely that people would say "The mango, where did it go?" I could teach you to throw a sombrero onto a hook while spinning in place with your fists on your hips.
But I cannot teach you the style. For it is I, not you, who is Manuel – Manuel of style!
Helpfulness[edit source]
Ah, but though I, Manuel, cannot teach you the style, perhaps I can teach you how to identify the style.
Bad[edit source]
Let us look at a page with no style at all. Let us look at The Shrubbery.
The Shrubbery
“Whoa, dude! How do you have sex with a chicken?!?”
“He's saved my life more times than I can count.”
The Sensational Shrubbery was a DC superhero invented by fabled comic book writer Geoff Johns in the mid 1960's. Originally created to be the sidekick of the most popular hero of the time, Mermaid Man, The Shrubbery got his own series of comics when his introductory issue as a sidekick tanked. Although he was loved by many, his popularity never grew to that of Mermaid Man's previous partner and love interest, The Octopussy.
Origin
Charles Mason was your average, everyday geologist. He had a wife, two children, a well-paying job and an all-around positive outlook on life. He enjoyed his life, and often spent his Saturday nights watching porn with the missus. Then, one day, his life was forever changed in a horrible felching accident. His ass was horrifically scared, and his genetics were permanently altered. The end results were not pretty. His body took on the physical shape of your everyday wookiee, with the additions of green fur and long horns protruding from his forehead.
Do you joke with Manuel, <insert name here>? Why does Stan Marsh talk of making love to delicious chicken? Who is this Black Jesus? Why do we speak of Charles Manson? Why is there the ugly-ass picture in the article?
An outrage! This is an outrageous lack of style!
But, Manuel shall not lose his cool. For losing one's cool, pequeñito, is not stylish.
Good[edit source]
Now, Uncyclopedia, let us see what a page with true style looks like!
Manuel
It is I! Manuel!
Drink me in, Uncyclopedia! Drink in my wind-swept hair and my finely tailored suit!
Drink deep from my mustache and taste the style!
Watch as I leap from adobe rooftop to adobe rooftop! Watch as I slice a mango so finely that the people, they say, "The mango, where did it go?" Watch as I make salsa in less than five minutes!
Now I must go, for style waits for no man!