Münter
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The Münters (also known as "The Keepers of the great and oh so mighty secret")[edit | edit source]
The Münter family has it roots in Lübeck where they used most of their days drinking beer and gnawing each others toes. It was a peaceful life, until one of the more young family members in the year of 1458 stumbled upon "THE GREAT AND OH SO MIGHTY SECRET!". Since then it has been the Münters sacred quest to protect this secret.
The image above contain the Münter family-shield. It is very sacred for the members and it is custom for all of them to have this symbol tattooed on their foreheads. The text says ESSE NON VIDERI which means "Don't eat those mushrooms", scientist are still arguing why it says so, some strongly believe that it is due to the fact that the earliest types of "Mushrooms of Mass Destruction" were developed at that time. (later in period the fear of mushrooms were switched out with the fear of the evil badgers).
Many members of the Münter family has been strong powerful individuals or insanely rich farmers. There have been several Bishops and mighty Traders. They have always had an EYE for the future, and knew how to use it to their own good. It has always been a clue how the gift managed to pass on through generations but in 2005 a librarian found something very interesting. It turned out that if you take a close look at the family shield, the character at the top is actually holding THE EYE OF SAURON!
This discovery made the crowds go crazy and in September 2006 only a small part of the Münter family still remained (the worst night is called: "The night of a bloody mess"). The politicians in Legoland(also known as Denmark) decided to put an end to the slaughtering. They created a law which forbidded the murder of other people (until now such a law hadn't existed due to the fact that people paid so high taxes that they couldn't afford buying objects to kill each other.) The eye were never found, but some say that it is to be found north of Copenhagen where some family members keep it safe... keep it secret.
Famous Münters[edit | edit source]
There are many famous Münters. Most of them is only known for their extremely long names. The current record is held by Friedrich Carl Baltazar Heinrich Ernestine Wilhelm Konradson Julies Hermann Münter (1789-1645). But many other Münters have shown their skills to the world, and their talents for trade, brewing, stinginess and abstinence, have made the family famous across the entire Faroe Islands.
Balthasar Münter (1735-1793) One of the many bishops in the family. He is very famous for being the only Scandinavian non-pedophile priest of his time. He was one of the members of the secret lodge Illuminati, and was in 1768 declared chairman of the lodge (as the catholic church had burned all the other members except for Balthasar's wife. It is known, that Dan Brown got his inspiration to write the famous Da Vinci Code. However, the Münter family didn't permit Dan Brown to tell the truth: that the Holy Grail is hidden in the basement of a Münter-owned house in Tarm, Denmark. Rumors say, that Balthasar not only knew the truth of Jesus, but also the truth of God himself. According to the Rumors, God should be a Neanderthal man called God-uk-uk. God-uk-uk was a male prostitute with excellent skills using his right hand. This should be the reason why God is often pictured, only shoeing his hand. Unfortunately, no members of the Münter family has confirmed the rumors.
Alexander Balthasar Münter (1837-1932) Grandson of the first Balthasar. A skillful weapons-dealer, who armed the Japanese army, and is the reason why they won the Japanese-Russian war. Without the dangerous pocket knives, matches and badminton rackets, Japan would have faced certain defeat. Münter advised the Japanese army to use effective biological weapons: Disulfiram/Antabus (a deadly threat for the drunken Russians!)
Wilhelm August Münter (1838-1885) Buyed a plantation on the then danish-owned Caribbean island of St. Croix. He was the only man in the modern history, who succeeded growing gold on trees. Unfortunately he was one of the few Münters without trade-skills, so he gave all of his gold to his slaves, when they were released in 1883.
Lorentz Münter (1687-1758) A legend in the family, because of his high-quality sperm. He had 16 children with the same wife (poor lady!)
Rasmus Münter (1990 - ? ) The family's black sheep. Currently he goes to High School in India where he spends most of his time calculating things that doesn't make sense. He is world famous for his calculation of the temperature inside a hamster when pushed through a soft piece of strawberry-cake (it's 88 degrees Celsius by the way). He has a weird fetish, he likes to run around and act and sound like a wild animal, which usually tends to get him into some awkward situations. He is also known for his secret powers, which he gets from the even more secret "auto lemon" (Most stores in Denmark sells them. But be careful, many of them contains live narwhales). Last year he was shot no more than seven times (beat that 50 cent!).
Thorbjørn Münter (1847-1907) A family member known as "the traitor" was born to become something big. When he was 12, he had already joined the danish army as lieutenant. In 1864 the Germans attacked Denmark, and the Danes suffered a terrible defeat. No doubt Thorbjørn was the reason, as he traveled to the African country known as Norway in 1863 and left a helpless danish army behind. Shame has followed the "real" Münters since, especially because of his pathetic dead (betrayal has always been normal in the Münter family...). When looking for Mushrooms ind the Norwegian forest, he met a giant moose. Only focusing on the family motto Esse Non Videri (see above) while looking for food, the moose attacked him from behind and beat him in the shoulder, and he died few days later of the dangerous moosefever (also known as Foot-mouth-and-antler disease).
Tobias Münter (1302-Present?) Very little is known about this shadowy family member. Currently the location of Tobias Münter is unknown, but it is assumed to be somewhere in Mordor.