Limerick (poetry)

For the Irish city of the same name, see Limerick

The limerick -- believed by most scholars to be named for the town of Balymghoughlick, Ireland -- is a form of poetry similar to the Japanese haiku and tanka. Just as the haiku must include a seasonal reference or imagery (the cherry blossoms of spring, the carp-flinging dances of summer), so the limerick traditionally includes a person's name or home town, filth and/or sex, and a strict AABBA rhyme scheme.

There once was a cretin named Jack

Whose buttcrack ran right up his back.

Said he with a leer,

"Toilet paper, my dear?

I use a whole roll at one whack."

or this one

There once was a knight named James Lancelot,

Who looked at Miss Bailey askance a lot.

So whenever he'd pass,

That beautiful ass,

The front of his pants would advance-a-lot.

how about this one

There once was a man from Aberdeen,

Who invented a wanking machine.

On the fifty-fifth stroke,

the fucking thing broke,

and mangled his bollocks to cream.

The above poem adds internal rhymes and extra-filthy imagery, but serves as a reasonably concise example of the form. Here is another:

According to Uncyclopedia

(The only reliable media)

Some limericks are pure

But those ones are fewer;

The others are quite a lot seedier.

A few scholars believe that the true origin of the limerick lies with a wandering medieval magician called Eric who could turn people into fruit by reciting poetry at them. According to this theory, Eric would turn people into bananas by reciting a bananerick, into raspberries by reciting a raspberick, and into pineapples by reciting a pinaplerick. However, only the limerick, once used by Eric to turn his enemies into green citrus, has survived to the modern era. This is probably just as well.

In any case, limericks were ancestral to the sonata, which use a similarly rigid rhyme scheme.

Limerick Variations

The General Form

Nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu

Na na na na na na na nu

Ni ni ni ni ni

Ne ne ne ne ni

No no no no no no no nu.

The Squeaky Clean

Cummings, Thomas, all that rot

None of their lines are very much hot

Some limericks are gaudy

Often dirty, often bawdy

But others are not.

The Unconventional

First, two lines that rhyme

Are required all of the time

Then two more

Lines three and four

The last rhymes with nothing.

the limerick is a kick i dont know what to say this poem is bad i am sad this is not a limerick

The Pretentious

A mosquito was heard to complain

That a chemist had poisoned his brain

The cause of his sorrow

Was 4-4 dichloro-

diphenyltrichloroethane

The Aldulterous

There once was a woman named Becca

Whose cunt had more pilgrims than Mecca

While her man was outside

Ol' George took a ride

And now all she wants is his pecca

The Subtle (and also pretentious)

There was an old man out of York

Who always ate soup with a stick

For he said "Since I eat

Neither fish, fowl, nor flesh

I would finish my dinner too soon."

The Limeraiku

Combine the two kinds

Five syllables in odd lines

Even have seven

Not twenty, not eleven

Now your poem shines

The Haikick

There was an old man

From Peru, whose lim'ricks all

Look'd like haiku. He

Said with a laugh "I

Cut them in half, the pay is

Much better for two."

The Gibberish Limerick

gahgahgahgahgahgahgahgoo

do do do do do do do do

blug blug blug blug blop

ploo ploo ploo ploo plop

rah rah rah rah rah rah rah Bob Dylan

The Lazy Limerick

There once was a man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two.

The Lazier Limerick

There once was a man from Verdun

The Idiot's Limerick

There once was a fellow so purple,

That...oh crap, this isn't going to work!

The melancholy, ironic (bad) Limerick

The government's tryin' to get me

And my cat keeps threatening to vet me

So I went to the bank

And then I drank

So they just take out their bills and then debt me

(Refrain)

I HATE MR WHISKERS

I HATE THE BANK

I WOULD HATE THE GOVERNMENT TOO...

IF I WASN'T SO WANK!

The Bob Dylan (Bad) Limerick

He once was a man from Minnesota

But His voice carried better in North Dakota

So he complained about life

And he learned how to play the fife

And now I return to the coda. OOOOHHHH! (dc al coda)

The in-joke

There are those who say Uncyclopedia

is a parody of wikipedia.

Those in the know

know it just isn't so;

disagree? To the kittens we'll feed ya!

The Bob Dylan (Good) Limerick

Imagine William Shatner singing the "Bob Dylan (Bad) Limerick"

The Oscar Wilde Limerick

There once lived a man of superlative wit

There was never a pun that he could not hit.

He smacked down Churchill,

left him in the lurch, ill,

and completely destroyed him, the twit. ~ Oscar Wilde

Chuck Norris Limerick

There once was a guy named Chuck Norris

Who landed on the ground before us

Would he give us a good flick?

Or try a roundhouse kick?

In the end he decided to destroy us.

Higher Love Limerick[1]

A growing young lad called Mike

Was aroused by riding his bike.

His confessor said: "Peddle faster.

You'll be seized by your Master.

And be loved by your Lord on your bike!"

Limericks by Famous Poets

Many of the great poets tried their hands at limericks.

By the shores of Gichee Gummee

An Indian maiden once knew me

She wanted Hiawatha

Not a silly paleface brotha

No matter how I begged her to chew me.

~Longfellow, Hiawatha

He clasps the crags with his crooked bird hands

On echoing cliffs he motionless stands

The distant sea crawls

He folds his wings, falls,

And like a thundermug he lands.

~Alfred "The Lord" Tennyson, The Eagle

There once were two roads in a yellow wood

I looked down one as long as I could

I could not travel both

(It might have stunted my growth)

And besides, they were slippery with mud.

~Robert "Freeze-Face" Frost, The Roads Not Taken