Jewsy Jews
“I love Jewsy Jews! It's my favorite anti-Semitic drink!”
Jewsy Jews is a fruit juice drink manufactured in Auschwitz, Germany in the 1930's. It was most popular among young children, because it tasted good, while simultaneously pleasing their mothers for having one whole serving of real fruit Jews.
Manufacturing[edit | edit source]
The Jewsy Jews manufacturing plants employed mainly minority groups, specifically Jewish people. It was the hope of the owners that all Jewish people would be able to be easily find employment in a hostile economy.
The biggest problem that the manufacturing company ran into was that the workers would often disappear, and never be found again. This inexplicable abnormality was solved by simply getting more employees to replace them. Jewsy Jews was one of the most successful manufacturers in all of Germany until the company was shut down in 1945 due to poor management skills. The remains of the plants are still there today for anyone to visit. If you're lucky, you might even find some Jewsy Jews left behind when the plants were shut down!
Product[edit | edit source]
Jewsy Jews is healthy and delicious. It is good for children of all ages. The steps for making it are simple. First, we take some fruit, and crush it into a pulp. Then we filter the pulp, and run the liquid into a machine where we add sugar and water.
Then we package it, and send it to stores for children everywhere to enjoy. It's that simple!
Ingredients:
- Crushed Fruit
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Water
- Cane Sugar
- Food Coloring
- Our secret ingredient
Popularity[edit | edit source]
Jewsy Jews is the most popular kids drink in Germany! It has received ringing endorsements from Chancellor Adolf Hitler and several others. Eminem recently made a rap about it in his new album ChildPorn! Even Joseph Stalin loves it, and he's our enemy! That's how good Jewsy Jews is! It is outlawed in Israel for some strange reason, however...
Anyways, drink Jewsy Jews! It's the best!