User:ILIKECEREALX/HowTo:Do a Barrel Roll
“It is a truly satisfying experience.”
“I'm doing a barrel roll!”
“DO A BARREL ROLL!”
Barrel rolls are quite popular these days. Many people feel relieved after doing one. So, you've come here for help? Apparrently, a little gerbil like You would like to know how to do one, eh? There are 3 ways to do a barrel roll: The simple way, the not-as-simple way, or the tough way.
The Tough Way[edit | edit source]
- Be born
- Learn to make Pancakes
- Buy the makings for Pancakes
- Follow instructions to make Pancakes
- Join and pass flying school by bribing the Teacher-Pilot with Pancakes (If this specific Teacher-Pilot does not like Pancakes you must try again until you find one that does, then bribe them)
- Buy an aircraft with Pancakes, If you can not find a aircraft dealer who will accept your offer try private aircraft sales and then if this fails steal a aircraft from a house and leave Pancakes as an apology (remember to come back later and throw a Pancakes through the houses glass window - so they dont try and dob you in to "The Fuzz!"
- Drive to an Airport
- Steal an Aircraft
or...
- Buy and Aircraft
then...
- Steal some fuel
or if you bough the aircraft and wish to continue staying within the confines of the law:
- Buy fuel for the aircraft.
- Use fuel by puting it in the aircrafts fuel tank
- Stop for a Pancakes break and eat Pancakes
- Begin by starting the aircraft and then flying it
- Fly it off of a ramp.
- While flying eat Pancakes
- While flying do a barrel roll
The Not-As-Simple Way[edit | edit source]
- Buy an N64.
- Buy Starfox 64.
- While playing, press Z or R twice, ya' pansy!
The Simple Way[edit | edit source]
- Lie down on the ground.
- Roll left and right.
The Egocentric Way[edit | edit source]
It is also possile to do a barrel roll by believing that you are so cool that doing a barrel roll in mid-air couoldn't be easier.
- Be a really up-yourself jerk of a thirteen year old
- Increase the size of your ego tenth-fold by wearing your pants around your knees, wearing caps backwards and and insulting people with cool words like "dickfinger"
- Get your parents to buy a really expensive bike/skatebord/scooter on which you can do a barrel roll (They get you a 500 gigabyte ipod while they're at it)
- Tell all your cool friends (who are all really cool (but not quite as cool as you)) what your going to do (get them them to watch and say cool words of encouragment)
- Then ride your bike/skateboard/scooter really fast (riding it into the curb of the road might help you get some extra lift) and... do a barrell roll, it should be pretty easy, your an absolutly incredible person after all
Chances are though just as you attempt the barrel roll your super ego power might falter for one second and you'll fall to the ground and break your spine, collar bone, pride etc. But it's worth a try isn't it?
But of course your not an up-yourself jerk of a thirteen year old, are you. Because if you were you wouldn't be reading this. Instead you'd be doing cool things like riding down the biggest hill in town on a vending machine, trying to break the neighbours glass window with your teeth or getting your eyes clawed out by a pack of vicious possums
Congratulations![edit | edit source]
You have succesfully done a Barrel Roll! Try hovering if you enjoyed doing this. Now try again using a saddam-hussein mask.