HowTo:Destroy the moon
“Click... Click... The moon is gone.”
Tired of annoying ass surfers in your coastal town? Did a loved one get swept away from you by a tidal current? Or have you heard Clair de Lune one too many times. Then, might I suggest destroying the Moon? Well, let me tell you, it's not as easy as it seems. There's only two known techniques to do so.
Method 1: The Universe Sandbox method
You will need
- Steam or some other game platform that supports Universe Sandbox.
- Universe Sandbox.
- There's no third item, but a 2 item list would be weird.
- I guess we could say a computer?
Executing the technique
- Open Universe Sandbox
- Open the Earth and the Moon simulation
- Click on the Moon
- Click on the button that looks like an explosion
- Watch the Moon shatter into pieces. It may be right outside your window, depending on whether it's the day or the night.
Method 2: The literal method
Oh wow, that wasn't enough satisfaction? OK, psycho. Let's destroy the real moon.
You will need
- The Apollo 13, or was it 11?
- Explosives. A lot of them. Research online suggests using around 2.96 x 1013 megatons of TNT. Get your hands on some nukes.
- Money, for both of these things. You better be super rich.
- Rig the explosives all around the Moon.
- Abandon the unfortunate natural satellite.
- Detonate them all remotely, being sure to completely eradicate the Moon.
If it's still there, you may want to perform brick injection. If it isn't, perform brick injection anyway. Those fragments of the destroyed moon have got to go somewhere, and, by God's Grace, they should hopefully land all on top of you, you moon-destroying asshole.