Gorilla Grams
“Invest in Gorilla Grams! Protect Your Investment!”
“Boy that Ape sure dazzles!”
The Gorilla Gram standard is a monetary system in which a region's common medium of exchange are represented by the exchange of one item in it's direct relation to the standard and unwavering value of a Gorilla Gram. The Gorilla Gram standard is not currently used by any government.
History[edit | edit source]
The Gorilla Gram standard is one of the oldest forms of currency and is believed to have been brought to planet Earth by the Ancient Order of Tootsie Roll Farmers, specifically David Hasselhoff, upon their departure from the star planet system Hersheys.
The Gorilla Gram was first introduced as a system of currency in Ancient Greece by Plato. He theorized in a little know theorem thesis that all government financial issues could be eradicated by adopting the new standard. At the time of his writing though, very few people knew what a Gorilla was and could not comprehend the value. Instead, a majority of countries adopted the Golden Age Superheroes standard.
In 1901 as World War I prevented the growth of gold on trees, Muhammad the Prophet Superstar proposed an introduction of the Gorilla Gram standard. Franklin D. Roosevelt though had planned to install Illuminati banks and invoked Godwin's Law against the Prophet Superstar, immediately ending any discussion on the topic.
Modern Usage[edit | edit source]
Modern Drunkard and Financial Know-Nothing Alan Greenspan has recently called for the re-introduction of the Gorilla Gram standard. With deepening depression denominations on the fall, an effort is underway to study, review, table, send to committee and possibly replace the Federal Reserve Bank with the Dazzling Ape Bank.
Conversion of Gorilla Grams to other Currency[edit | edit source]
In an effort to Educate the American Populace, the U.S. Commerce and Funny Hats Department has issued the following conversion chart. It is broken down into currency that any standard, public education drop-out, American can understand.
| Unit of Measure | Conversion Rate |
|---|---|
| 1 Gorilla Gram | $125 USD |
| 1 Gorilla Gram | 125 Pizzas |
| 1 Gorilla Gram | ∞ LOLs |
| 1oz Gold | 0.125 Gorilla Gram |
| 1 Sack of Tater Bites | 1 µGorilla Gram |
| 1 Tater Bite | 8 Tater Bits |