Get-rich-quick scheme

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Get rich quick scheme)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Do you need money to pay the bills, buy a new home, retire with, or become financially independent?


But you don't have time to work hard or the time to earn the money, and with your life being so hard it seems like you'll never become free of all those loans like those CEO billionaires that you work for

Question mark.png

Question mark.png

Question mark.png

But now you can with my new system that some are calling the PERPETUAL MOTION DEVICE OF FINANCE

Money bags.png

You (yes, that's right, YOU!) can with my new system that it is guaranteed to earn $1,000,000 in less then a year. This new system is called the multi-party investment banking real-estate and Euroipod System or the finance-Euroipod system!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This system is possible due to a hole in finance theory, the mathematics that govern everything form the change in our pockets to the stock market. This hole can be exploited and make a person incredibly wealthy

Don't think that my system can work? Well, hear it from others like you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I was $2,000 in debt. I had 3 kids that I had to feed. I was unemployed and I just didn't know what to do. It felt like I was I being buried alive in debt. But then I heard about the finance-Euroipod system. I paid the money and now I own stock in the credit companies"'--Sara, age 39, $3,000,000

"Euroipods are better then any of my business ideas"--Charles P., age 23, $500,000


"i was 4 +80 lvl w4rl0c|< 1n WoW + 1 dint h4\/3 3n0ug t1m3 2 pwn n00bz evr s1nc3 my m0m k1ck3d m3 0u+ 0f th3 h0use. but wh3n 1 m4d3 my f1r5t $ m1l 1 h4d 3n0ugh t1me t0 4|| n00bz + n0w I'm a 4 +100 lvl w4rl0c|<" -- L33r0y _x0rz, 29, 5,000,000 gold

"Finally I can retire from this stupid superhero business as a Zimbabwean dollar multimillionaire thanks to this brand new deal I've made over e-mail with a Nigerian businessman to buy real-estate property in the, as he put it, flourishing African country of Bangalla for free! All he required was 1) money and 2) reffering my freinds to do the same!"--Captain Oblivious, age unknown, $7,500,000*

*Note: $ as in Zimbabwean dollars

"I was just 2 days from my retirement when my company's executives were involved in a corporate scandal and I lost my pension. I thought I would never be able to retire. Then I found about the finance-Euroipod system"--Sam, age 59, $10,000,000

"I have now acquired virtual immortality through the marvelous finance-Euroipod system, since as everyone knows [ Money = Time ], and ever since this ingenious system earned me a fantazillion dollars in addition to my already existing fortune, I have all the time in the world at my disposal!"--Scrooge McDuck, age 140, $10^6332739

"I thought all those get-rich-schemes were just a scam, but guess what?! I did get rich!"--Laura, age 45, $4,000,000

"I now finally own all of my quotes" -- Oscar, age 200, $500,000,000


How does it work?

Due to the potential that it could be exploited, if I told everyone on the internet about it, it could collapse and no longer work, causing you to lose your investment and your chance to become filthy rich. However, I will tell you what you need to do first to become rich and be able to know about my secret. What I can tell you is that it revolves around the iPod, the best selling MP3 player of all time, and the fascinating meatpacking industry. I can't say why or how they're connected, but I can prove that they are with this chart:


Where do I come in?

Where do you come in, you ask? Well here's the deal:You will first pay a small starting fee of $10* and will be granted a certificate to sell Euroipods. Then you will sell me a bunch of Euroipods and once you sell $1,000 worth of Euroipods, I will sell you the license to recruit more members. Then you will send their fees plus yours to me and I will keep sending you Euroipods. In addition, they do the same, so in the end, you do less work while making more money.

Where do I sign up?

Just send me your name, phone number, email address, secondary email address (optional), social security number, address, zip code, social security number, current occupation, and the names of 3 friends who might be interested in this** to$$$.jpg

*this may go up whenever I feel like it.

**disclaimer: The creators of this website is not responsible for any loss of your social life when we talk to all your friends you list


Potatohead aqua.png

Featured Article  (read another featured article)
Featured version: 2 April 2013
This article has been featured on the front page. — You can nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.

Template:FA/02 April 2013Template:FA/2013Template:FQ/02 April 2013Template:FQ/2013