Get This
Get This... is the official propaganda medium of the Satiny Kaftan Kult - an underground movement dedicated to restoring the said liberating clothes de jour for the portly gentleman to the mainstream. It can be heard on Radio Triple M across Australia or on KO FM in Newcastle.
The Get This... Team[edit | edit source]
The Get This... team is fronted by Mr Tony Martin. He is an overweight and stubbled Richmond Tigers fan. He wrote and starred in the films Crackerjack and Boytown. In TV circles, he is known as the host of a shortlived Channel Nine talk show who simulated air synth on stage moments before Kerry Packer rang the studio and said, "Who is this Nick Kershaw!". Tony Martin is often mistaken for his former colleague Mick Molloy. This is ironic because Molloy is extremely underweight and of small stature. Some argue that if Molloy had been involved in writing Crackerjack or Boytown said movies would have been of a higher class and slightly more funny. Unlike Martin, Molloy would not know who the Richmond Tigers were if they were biting his backside; he is too busy recording the 7:30 report and Lateline to pursue such sporting endeavours.
Martin's sidekick is Ed "Meatpie" Kavalee (born Led Kava), an animal rights activist who tries to get under the skin of the PETA crew by promoting KFC in a series of homoerotic TV ads, and by videoing himself dressed in a panda suit promoting man and animal love. He also aggravates PETA by re-enacting the childhood of several prominent serial killers. Specifically, he videos himself torturing kittens and uploads that on Youtube. He hopes that one particular video of him skinning a live rlsand is used as an alias.
Richard Marsland (not his real name) contributes to the mayhem with his anecdotes about life in Adelaide and his appearances on Rove Live, Channel Ten's answer to UKTV's Birds of a Feather. His best contribution so far has been his review of Adelaide Beats, a subect every visitor to the City of Churches should be familiar with. Marsland appreciates the practical nature of the Satiny Kaftan when using a beat because there is little time to mess around with belts and zippers. Marsland was a victim of Uncyclopedia's alternate reality (aka Wikipedia), being banned from the site after several of his real names were released to the public. Among his true monikers are Mission to Marsland, Veronica Marsland and Shock Jock Richard Marsland. The name Richard Marlsand is used as an alias. Under one of his real identities, Marsland likened women to pieces of uncovered meat. He has also had a feature on his morning show A.M (All Marsland) Adelaide where he would whip and later woo his co host, Anne Wills.
Many people have been considered the mysterious Fourth Member of Get This... The most likely candidates are Pete Best, Stuart Sutcliffe, Winkie Dink and Brian De Palma. No definitive answer couldbe given by the time that Get This... was disbanded. The collapse came about largely due to intereference from Japanese conceptual artist Yoko Ono, who started dating one of the crew.
Notable Events, Episodes and Factual Errors[edit | edit source]
- 6 November 2006: Ed Kavalee incorrectly states that Uncyclopedia is a parody of Wikipedia. Subsequently, the Get This crew cautions listeners about visiting the Get This Uncyclopedia page (implying that the contents of this page may not always be factually correct and in some cases, defamatory). This penis jerk reaction is obviously the result of the Get This crew being confronted with the printed truth.
The Wikipedia Conspiracy[edit | edit source]
In an attempt to bolster the value of the Satiny Kaftan propaganda the Get This… crew developed and implemented a ‘free encyclopedia’ which they named Wikipedia. The site remains another outlet for Satiny Kaftan propaganda and was created to perpetuate the myth that- as a result of the show’s meteoric rise, listeners have resorted to ‘extreme vandalism’ of their Wikipedia page (the implication being that the show has listeners). So deep was the cover up that the Get This…crew was not only forced to vandalise their own page but they were forced to disable editing of their page because of said vandalism. Uncyclopedia does not suffer from this problem. Spicy hot bonner.
Capril[edit | edit source]
Recently in an attempt to cast suspicion away from themselves they held a month devoted to capes but this was a clever ploy to get people wearing their capril t shirt to control your mind. Do Not Be Fooled!
Get This... Scientology and Politics[edit | edit source]
The Get This... team have been profoundly influenced by the teachings of L Ron Hubbard, a science fiction writer who discovered the value of brainwashing celebrities to legitimise one's cult. Each day, a celebrity is invited to espouse the virtues of Satiny Kaftans. Some celebrities have seen the light and declined the chance to be there, the most recent genius being John Mayer. Bob Franklin has chosen a Ghandi style form of passive resistance, going on the show and remaining tight lipped.
The Get This... team have had more success infiltrating Australian politics. MP's are frequently interviewed on a range of subjects. The ABC then steals these sound bites, travels back in time and plays them last night's The 7:30 Report. Such unabashed support of the Satiny Kaftan movement on their flagship current affairs show is yet another example of blatant ABC bias that must be eradicated.
PLPS and Karl2.0 banded together and mind raped the CEO of the. AUSsterio network to remove Get This from our airways. They must be destroyed at all costs.
The True Monikers of Richard Marsland[edit | edit source]
Are standing next to 'Richard Marsland'? Find out by using one of his many aliases:
6:30 am, A Time to Dick, Anne Wills' Bitch, Armani Shanks, Armitage 'Lamb' Shanks, Armitage Shanks, Bhache Ihn Phive, Calrissian aka Richard "dirty sanchez" Marsland, Citizen Dick, Crouching Richard, Hidden Dick, D'Artagnan the Marsketeer, David Bowie, David Marr-sland, Dealing with Marsland, Dick, Dick Bar, Dick 'Clarke' Marsland, Dick Red, Dick's Family Feud, Dicky Sanchez, Dikipedia, Dolce & Marslanda, Ed Schwarzenhamanegganburger, Euro Marsland, Face On Mars, GE Money Master, God Of War, Gold Coast Marsland, Gorhne Phishing, H. G. Wells, Head Poncho, Hong Kong Marsland, Humphrey Bogart, Hurricane 'the windswept' Marsland, I'll get you butler yeahhhhh, Kim Beasely's Gimp, Life on Marsland, March, Marlene Reifenstahl, Mars Attacks, Mars Bar, Mars Needs Guitars, Mars Knopfler, Mars Kershaw, Mars Rover, Mars, Triple Chocolate, The Marsa-go-go, Mars-kiss me quick, hug me slow-Land, Marsland Cricket Ground, Marsland Paris, Marsland the Martian, MarsLand Theme Park, Marslando Bloom, Marslando Calrissian, Marslo, Marslon VonRichtoven, Marsly-Mars and the Funky Bunch, Mars-suhita Electric Co., Mars-supial, Mars-termind, Mars-turbater, MarsWorld, Men are from Mars-land, Michard Rarsland, MishMashMongoMars, Mission to Mars-land, Mmmmmmarsland, MooMooRicardo, Moose Fighter 2000, Mooting Marsland, Moto Marsland,Nergal, The Marsla-bator, New Mars XXX, Oh Dick, Where Art Thou, Out of this world, Panel Fantasia, Petshop Boi, Push it Real good-Marsland, R. M. Synthems, R.e.M, R.M Williams, Ricardo Marchio, Richard Marsipan, Richard 'Simmons' Marsland, Richard Marxland, Richardo Montolbom, Rick Head, Rick Shanky-Ho, Rick's Cafe, Ricky "Work, Rest, and Play"-land, Ricky Funk Face, Ricky M, Ricky Mouse, Ricky Ricky East-ender,Riff Raff Marsland, Rove 2.0, Salt and Pepper, Shanky McWindswept, Shock Jock Richard Marsland, Spandau Marsland , Spirit and Opportunity, Sticky Ricky, Sunrise with mel and Marsland, Tequila Dickingbird, The Actor Richard Marsland, The Armitage formerly known as Shanks, The Big M, The Big Red, The Button Bender, The Cock Sucker Down The Road, The Devil with The Blue Dick on, The Dick Planet, The Face On Mars, The Island of Dr. Marsland, The Man From Nantucket, The Mars Explorer, The Mars Volta, The Marsla-bator, The Marslander, The Mars-ter: with Mark Baretta, The Panel Whisperer, The Red Planet, The Sanchez Master, The Shaw Shanky Redemption, The Swarthy and wind swept man from mars god of war Marslando, The Viking, Tokyo Marsland, Tony Mar(tin)sland, Tony Martin's Whipping boy, Toto Neorest, Traction Jackson, Typhoon Marsland, University Of Marsland, Up your nose and away it goes Marsland, Veronica Mars-land, Viking2: Mars-lander, Wiki Marsland, Windswept One, Windswept xp, Windy Rick, Yoko Ono.
The KavaleeFM Petition[edit | edit source]
There is currently an online petition to have Get This' parent radio station Triple M rebranded KavaleeFM in honour of the talented and entertaining co-host of Get This, Ed Kavalee. This petition can be accessed by following the link in the External Links section of this website. Caution should be taken when signing this petition as doing so will give Ed Kavalee your ip address and therefor access to download kitteh porn to your computer.
Key Phrases[edit | edit source]
"Cows Cows They're Not Ducks, Cows Cows Nickleback Sucks"
"She sells sea shells, by the sea shore. He sells Keyboards to Nik Kershaw"
"I like your pants around your feet"
"Wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes, even if it was for just one day, and wouldn't it be good if we could wish ourselves away"
"People want Dutch"
"The venga bus is comin..."
"i like to hear all the nice nickelback"
"Oooooh me plumbs!!!!!"