George Santos
| It is requested that an image or images be included in this article to improve its quality. | |||
George Anthony Devolder Santos is an American-Brazilian spy, politician, actor, producer, banker, philanthropist, businessman, journalist, and drag star, along with innumerable other distinctions that cannot be listed here for they would run on too long. He ran for New York's 3rd Congressional District and won, but uncertainty and confusion about his background, and the jealousy of his political enemies, and targeted investigations by the US government quickly hindered him, and he was outed as a spy, and resigned shortly thereafter, to return to his career as a drag queen. He one of the most talented, honest, successful, and accomplished people living in America.
What people do not know about Mr. Santos (which is not his real name, simply one of his many aliases) is that he is a spy, and for this reason, cannot reveal his real name, or many details about his background. But suffice to say, although the timelines are unclear, all of the things he has accomplished are definitely true. We will try to lay out the most coherent understanding of his biography that we can, but this is difficult, given the contradictions.
Early Life[edit | edit source]
Mr. Santos was born, possibly in 1988, in New York. His ethnicity is uncertain; to keep his background secret, he has claimed to be part black, and of Belgian and Ukrainian heritage (neither of which are real countries). His parents were born in Brazil. When asked about his religion he claimed he was Jewish; however, this led to conspiracy theories about him possibly being an Israeli spy, so he has since claimed he meant he was "Jew-ish".
As he is a spy, his educational background is uncertain. He first claimed he attended the Horace Mann School, however, journalists were not able to find records of this. This is because he attended the school under a different name, however, he has so many aliases he cannot remember which one he used. Witnesses also say he attended Baruch College, but the dates and times seem to show that he never studied and was in foreign countries at the time, including Brazil. To cover up his injuries as a spy, he claims that he had both knees replaced due to his playing volleyball, but the school had no volleyball team at the time. He also is said to have attained a business degree from either Harvard or New York University. This document could've been forged.
His parents were in the Twin Towers during 9-11; his mother later died several years later from side effects.
Employment History[edit | edit source]
Mr. Santos starred in TV shows such as the Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Hannah Montana. He helped produce a musical version of Spider-Man, based on his own biographical experiences. In Brazil, he also worked as a journalist, a model, and a drag queen. Sources say he appeared in Vogue. Upon return to the US, he worked for Citigroup and Goldman Sachs, and as a customer call representative for Dish. The time period Santos named for both these jobs are overlapping. He has also claimed to have owned several rental properties, but no records of this have been found.
Later, he claimed to have started a company in Orlando; tragically, he said four employees died in the Pulse Nightclub Shooting. Mr. Santos never named the company, so journalists were never able to identify the victims.
Personal Tragedy[edit | edit source]
As a spy, George Santos has been the victim of numerous crimes. In addition to the above tragic events of 9/11 and Pulse Nightclub, he has also shared that he was the victim of several robberies in New York, but his political enemies have claimed this is is unlikely, as he is much more likely to have been mugged and assaulted in Brazil, not New York. Mr. Santos claims his political enemies are jealous and trying to destroy him. He has also claimed that his niece was briefly kidnapped by Chinese men, who probably worked for the Chinese Communist Party. Police have investigated, but were unable to identify any evidence for this occurring; obviously, the men were spies themselves, and left no evidence.
In addition to having both knees replaced, Mr. Santos has had to deal with numerous health crises, including a brain tumor, bronchitis, and immunodeficiency. It is also possible he suffers from amnesia, given his confused and contradictory explanations for his past.
Charity[edit | edit source]
Mr. Santos is a very generous and rich man, having given money to charities in the US and Brazil for sick children, veterans, and dogs.[citation needed] Additionally, he has inspired fellow drag queens to have a political career via his Cameo business.[1]