Emo (music)

Warning!

This article was made by an Emo Kid. Tread lightly!

A study about the genre/subculture of Emo

“Hey! This music is great, its original, deep, meaningful, non-cliche, distinct, and a work of absoloute genius.”

~ Captain Sarcasm on Emocore

“You can't spell "mediocre" without "emocore"”

~ Oscar Wilde on Emocore

“In England a pack of cigarettes is called a pack of fags, in America a pack of fags is called an emo band.”

~ British Guy on Emocore

“Shit”

~ Metalheads on Emocore

“They stole our music genre!”

~ Punks on Emocore

“They stole our style!”

~ Goths on Emocore

“They stole our Makeup!”

~ Chicks on Emocore

“ HEY! were just different okay? geeeezzzz nobody understands us faggots”

~ Emo faggot using the typical defense

“I somehow can kill punks easier now!”

~ Clint Eastwood on Emocore

Emocore is a distinct music genre which requires you to whine, scream, and let everyone know how your girlfriend broke up with you. Only emo kids and depressed people listen to it.

History

Emocore started in around the 80's when the band Rites of Spring decided to start to sell their sanity to the depressed population of the world. Then some bands called Sunny Day Real Estate and Jawbreaker stole their music and started and changed it to make some money with a "new" music genre until around the late 90's when emocore started to die down again. But still in the 2000's some emotionally unstable bands remained, like Jimmy Eat World, and emocore was revived again, when Jimmy Eat World made a depressing album called Bleeding Americans.

Soon after, a new youth subculture called "emo" (a group of highly depressive teens) began to emerge once this music genre was revived. With this, emo broke off of punk rock and made its own genre, due to the Punk Family disowning the Emo Family. Soon after being disowned from the Punk Family, the metalheads and goths, for some unknown reason, started to pay more attention to emocore and saw it as a threat.In short, emo is goth for pussies.

Sound and Rhythm

The emocore music genre generally consists of whiny lyrics and incredibly distorted guitars which, if you listen to emocore, will begin create a void in your soul and turn you into a emo kid.

Fact: Most Emocore band lead singers look like this. The one who is most likely to get laid by fangirls/guys. He will not see his mic as well.

• Vocals: Vocals normally consist of a teenager or a feminine male who has mastered the art of screaming. The screaming in Emo music is not like the death growling and screaming in Metal, Emo screams sound completely pathetic and pussy. Emo lead singers are normally obsessed over by teenage girls so they are the most likely in the band to get laid. Common lyrics from the genre consist of subjects like:

1. Cutting (mainly for those influenced by Hawthorne Heights) for no apparent reason, just to try and fit into a trend
2. Love and Mainstream
3. how cool it is to be emo

• Guitar: Guitar is mildly distorted, as so it is not clean, but defiently not metal. E standard and Drop D and C tunings are common. All Emo guitar player's use Gibson Les Pauls or Gibson Les Paul copies, usually with a black finish. All guitars use ultra-ultra-light gauge strings, like .8-.40's. All Emo Guitar players have no talent. They will strum simple powerchords, maybye interjected with an extremely simple high pitched melody that sucks.

• Bass Guitar: The genre's bass player's are extremely untalented. They will just fingerpick open strings repetitively

usually the Low E.

• Drums: Drums... what is there to do? All you do is bang on them. (just like your mother)

Emo drummers always use cymbals because they are high pitched.

Popular Emocore Bands

• My Chemical Romance - Even though denying being an emo band, they know deep down inside their dark hearts they are emo
• Fall Out Boy - Very popular, especially in Mexico where the song "This ain't a Scene, it's a March in Mexico" was used in protest of being picked on by punks and metalheads
• Panic at the Disco - They are so emo, I mean come on, they wear makeup and eyeliner!
• Blood Red Romance - Mainly loved by the emo crowd that hates Adam and Andrew, very popular for their song "Gangster Kid" (a parody of "Emo Kid" by Adam and Andrew)
• The Unbearable Lightness - The first emo band to do something useful
• Aiden- A band fabricated by Jack Skellington IV from the Emo Dynasty
• Conor Oberst - He's a band?
• Stealthcore - ...

Subgenres

• Screamo: The art of molesting ones eardrums. The human ears can only stand so much screaming that few people can listen to it. These people include Emos, Scene Kids,and metal-heads. While metal-heads have the ability to with stand such high amounts of estrogen, they choose not to because they fear that they will contract vaginitis. One of the only good things to come from emo kids as it has the ability to ward off chavs and other Dollar Store gangsters. One example of this subgenre is Escape the Fate.

• Emo rap: Attracting both emos and wiggers, emo rap unbelievably whines about losing their girlfriend to some douche with a bigger dick than the emocore genre. It normally consists of catchy tunes and singers taking all the talent away from real music. It is under debate if emo rap is real music or not. One example of this subgenre is 3oh!3

• Emotronic: A complete and utter joke that has spread via MySpace. It is supposed to be a mix between emo and electronic. It is a proven fact that this music subgenre is the most tuney and rhythmical of all of them. It is popular among females, because they can dance to it. Another form of preforming this type of music, is to throw a bunch of gays in a pit and record them having sex with each other, whilst playing an electric drumset and synthesiers in the background. One example of this subgenre is Medic Droid. This one genre could be a danger because it may be confused with trip hop, especially Massive Attack's album Mezzanine. Also it could be confused with a song from Boards of Canada, because it has strange shouts of I LOVE YOU! on there.

Pros and Cons of listening to/being in a band of the genre

• Pros

1. The lead singer is most likely to get laid
2. You will sell out and get rich. Oh wait, is that good?
3. You will have thousands of fanclubs named after one of your band members and how teenage girls will want to have sex with you (but you won't get laid unless you are the lead singer or look the faggiest.)
4. You will be accepted by other emos
5. You will be trendy (only 'til 2012)
6. You can walk out like a fat person and not care what others think. (Which you really do or else you wouldn't look like you do.)
7. This particular genre of music requires no talent or effort

• Cons

1. Punks, Metalheads, Rockers, and Indie Kids will hate you for ruining Rock and Roll.
2. Lying to everyone by telling them you're straight. (Which you aren't fooling anyone except prepubecent girls)
3. YOU'LL LOOK TOTALLY GAY!
4. This genre of music sucks satans cheesy dick

Also See

• Emo
• HowTo:Be Emo
• Music
• HowTo:Form a shitty screamo band

External links

• Emo Bucket - Its like a bunch of emos, in a bucket
• Fourfa - A pretty good history on the Subculture and Music