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This article is written in British (correct) English. Americans may not understand this language, only American English. Don't change a thing to remedy this.

Your e-peen is what your entire life should revolve around, and every spare moment should be spent pulling on the end of it in a vain attempt to make it bigger.

Your e-peen is just like your real penis, except it is not microscopic.

History of the e-peen[edit]

E-peens have been in circulation for a long time, and, despite being dependent on the existence of the internet, still manage to somehow be older than the internet, just like anything else that has been acknowledged by people for over 24 hours.

Examples include memes, which become older than the internet after they have been recognised by members of 4chan for 5 minutes, and some other- inevitaby faggy- forum or messageboard has adoped the meme.

How can I determine how large my e-peen is?[edit]

You've got a toy laughing at you. Your e-peen must be tiny.

Ask in a whiny manner, imitating as closely as you can a 10 year old child, on a random messageboard, making sure you post in the wrong section, using little or no punctuation or grammar, avoiding capitalisation at all cost, lest you accidentally become literate.

Any posting members will tell you one of the following:

  • You have a tiny e-peen
  • You have no e-peen to speak of
  • You actually have an e-vagina
  • They may sarcastically tell you that you have a large e-peen
  • Other (Incidentally, my use of 'other' totally wasn't a cop out, fuck you.)

What can I do to grow/ get my e-peen?[edit]

This is good as it shows you wish to improve your reputation and credibility.

Unfortunately, once reading and/ or associating in any way, no matter how brief or insignificant, with this 'article' (HA, call this an article?) you will most likely never be able to grow your e-peen anymore.



Actually, disregard my last section. Paypal me a three figure sum and I'm sure your e-peen will magically grow.