Cybergothloli
| Cybergothloli | |
|---|---|
| Alternative names | |
| |
| Country of origin | |
| Japan |
The rare cybergothloli is a result of ancient breeding techniqes to form the ultimate raver from their basic elements. By fusing electricity, hard drugs, bad music and alternative people, the dance music gods were able to create the ultimate breed of club goers. However due to the combined awesomeness of the ingredients the resulting creation could rave to such speeds that they instantly disappeared. By using a combination UV lighting; playing overly loud bad music and glowsticks it is possible to attract these abominations of culture for brief period. The speed at which this music must be played and the loudness needed to gather cybergothlolis as been calculated to rip apart a normal person at several hundred miles. Their allegiance is sworn to their creators and they battle with them against their most promanent opponent.
This incredible representation of the creation of a cybergothloli is probably false.
Basic Appearance[edit | edit source]
Used glowsticks make up a large portion of cybergothlolis and when combined with their innate electricial production causes them to glow in more colours than are visible to the eye. The rapid change of colour and intensity will cause epileptic attacts in anyone, even those with no prior history. Clad in everything and nothing at the same time most of the material clothing cybergothlolis is stolen from NASA due to a past history of combustion due to friction heating from raving so fast. The clothes can be any colour possible, glow under UV and cover anywhere from 1 to 99% of their surface area. Giant fluffy boots are standard issue footwear in matching colour to the rest of the outfits. Cybergothlolis naturally long black haired but are often found with all sorts of electrical crap tied/glued/huffed in their multicoloured dyed hair, normally any florescent colour. It is not uncommon to find even more glowsticks attached to their hair and anything in it.
Habitat[edit | edit source]
Clubs, Raves, Studios, Behind some decks, Beaches with sunsets, Japan, Behind You. Clubs are the normal habitat of cybergothlolis as they are able to get their fix of incessantly loud music and enough UV lights to give anyone else instant skin cancer. They are never seen outside because loli tend to be underage for going clubbing, which is why they are always there before anyone else. When clubs are not availble they can be found in a muddy field with a bunch of hard drug addicts and some idiots with a load of speakers and lots of even worse music. During summer time the most prominent gathering of cybergothlolis is a giant two month long hostile takeover of the small pacific kingdom of Ibiza. It is during this time of the year that they are most often found in some sort of comatose state on a beach during sunset or sunrise. Bored cybergothlolis can be found in major cities around the world, predominantly in Japan showing off their ultracool style. FUCK!
History[edit | edit source]
While it is commonly believed that they were created by a bunch of smacked up DJ's with far too much energy and no intelligence, there is another theory that claims they are made of pure energy. This alternative theory claims that the reason for their rareness is that they are able to fuse together in some sort of highlander style ritual to create ultramegasuperomgwtfcybergothlolis. This is stupid but would explain why they are so rare in current times, older cybergothlolis have been mistaken for angels and gay ninjas. Based on ancient records written in the mysterious 12" format and only readable by the gods of bad music, there used to be a large number of cybergothlolis, but in some sort of weird homage to that stupid ninja 3 they have also combined to form three perfect forms. Each of the remaining cybergothlolis are perfect, indicating that they have such original perfection that combination produces not one perfect form, but 3. That's pretty awesome.
Culture[edit | edit source]
When not incessantly raving like the mad doped up fiends they are, cybergothlolis can be found hitting on cybergothshotas, making banging new tunes to dance to, or annoying the goth culture by hanging around with them and making them look stupid by not wearing any black or by listing to their own music as loud as possible, which goths hate as it makes them feel less depressed. They also like reminding goths that their music has its roots in early techno, and that it just had silly lyrics about pointless things and Satan put over it. Other than that they have no culture, as by taking more drugs than is possible by any creature in the multiverse ever they have destroyed most of their brains and cannot comprehend anything else. However, it is rumored that in their earlier years cybergothlolis were inspiration for composers such as Beethoven, Wagner, God, and countless celebrities.
Relations[edit | edit source]
The cybergothloli is often related to angels; they aren't, it is angels who are related to cybergothlolis, as they were first envisioned in their minds and then, due to their supreme being status, instantly created them; this is probably possible due to them probably being composed of pure energy. Cybergothlolis are infinitely cooler than angels, as they glow in the dark! Cybergothloli is related to the much rarer, probably extinct, cybergothshota. No one has seen these ever, but since they are almost indistinguishable from their loli variants they probably do exist although no one has been able to tell. DJs are not related to cybergothlolis though they share similar cultures; it was only the Ancient DJs who had any true contact with cybergothlolis, and since they have transcended space and time they are not available for comment. Goths have nothing to do with cybergothlolis (you've been told that already why did you think that they suddenly do?) Since they share their names cybergothlolis can also become Super Saiyan, but do so to a much higher level, and can also fly faster and higher than normal goths.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
Cybergothlolis can connect directly to the internet and are most commonly spotted chatting on IRC about how everyone else sucks and directing pure anger and rage at noobs. Along with having read the entire internet, including pages that won't ever be written, they also know the whole of pi to its last place. Cybergothlolis love playing games, but not strategy games as they can't think forwards for more than about 20s (approximately 32 beats) and suck horribly at them, and so they spend most of their time playing stupid driving games because none of them are able to get a driving license. It is rumored that they have solved every single game of freecell. Twice. They can play all instruments, apart from anything brass: this is due to a fear of being trapped inside their own instrument and being stuck for eons.