Clash of Clans

Clash of Clans is a mobile strategy game based on the Irish Civil War developed and published by Stupidcell. The game is set in 1922 in which the player assumes the role of an IRA member as they are tasked with the upkeep of a rural IRA base as well as carrying out terrorist attacks against towns in Northern Ireland.

Units

The player can use their own units to perform their terrorist attack but they can also receive donations of extra stuff from other nearby IRA bases, including things that the player normally wouldn't be able to use in their attacks if their base isn't yet advanced enough to produce such units.

The player can use four kinds of units as part of their attacks: Troops (guys with guns and swords and whatnot), Drinks (glass bottles of drinks you can throw at your troops as a performance enhancer or at the enemies as a weapon), Heroes (really strong guys with extra big weapons), and Siege Machines (big vehicles that are big enough to fit donated troops inside them).

Example of two Suicide Bombers strategically blowing up some walls. A Siege Machine on the left is also helping with this

Troops

• Drunkard: a drunk guy pulled from the local pub who was given a sword. He doesn't know who he's fighting or why he's swinging a sword but he just runs forward and attacks the nearest building with it.
• Suicide Bomber: runs towards the nearest wall and yells "TIOCFAIDH ÁR LÁ!!!" extremely loudly before exploding.
• Tea brewer: a chap nicked from the local tea brewery who will continuously pour tea down the throat of the nearest troop, healing them from damage.
• Volunteer: a light infantryman with a rifle. He is able to attack from range with his gun but his aim is really shit so he still needs to get up somewhat close in order to hit anything. He also doesn't have that much health.
• Brigader: a much bigger infantryman with a light machine gun. He deals a lot more damage than the Volunteer but has even worse aim. In fact, their aim is so bad that they pretty much use their machine gun as an extended melee weapon. However, due to their very fancy uniform they have quite a lot of health and can tank more damage than Volunteers. Their machine guns are also powerful enough to pierce through one or sometimes two buildings.

Drinks

• Black Tea: gives your troops a damage buff and a speed buff
• Green Tea: heals your troops over time
• Coffee: gives your troops a speed buff and takes up less storage space than tea but they get into arguments with any tea drinkers over which drink is better.
• Guinness: all the actually drinkable Guinness was obviously already consumed so this is some expired guinness which tastes terrible and will slow down enemy troops.
• Peace Line drink: this magical drink will allow your troops to hop over walls, the name is derived from the walls lined with food-growing plants called "peace lines" which were set up in Northern Ireland to promote a sense of community as everyone would come together to help harvest the fruits. It was a very successful project and is credited with the reduction of intercultural violence in the areas it was implemented in.

Heroes

• Richard Hammond: drives straight into the enemies with a jet-powered dragster, usually he takes down a building or two before the dragster comes to a stop but sometimes he just misses completely and flies off into a field somewhere instead.
• Barbarian King: some guy who got so drunk that he believes he's actually a king ruling over a legion of barbarians to take over the Romans. Just keep telling him that you're fighting the Romans or whatever and he'll get the job done.
• The Gael: a guy who's really good at gaelic football. He has a seemingly endless supply of gaelic footballs that he keeps pulling out of his ass which he punts at buildings at incredible speeds to deal damage to them.

Siege Machines

Siege Machines can house paramilitary troops donated to you from other divisions of the IRA.

• Car Bomb: a normal-looking sedan filled with explosives which drives towards the town hall and then explodes
• Double Decker Bus: a double decker bus stolen from London. It drives towards the town hall and then explodes.
• Armoured Car: an armoured personnel carrier which drives towards the town hall and then explo- do these guys have any vehicles that aren't filled to the brim with explosives?
• Tank: a tank stolen from the British army. They couldn't find any shells to load into the cannon so they just filled the whole thing with bombs. The tank drives towards the town hall and then expl- oh fucking come on.
• I'm pretty sure the rest of these just do the same thing.

Defences

One of the defences available for use at the IRA base is this thing which appears to be some sort of huge crossbow firing hot potatoes. It's usually referred to as the "potatobow"

There are many defences available to the player to defend their base in case the pro-treaty forces launch an attack on it while the player is offline. Some of these include:

• a potato cannon (they would have used an actual cannon but they had more potatoes on hand than cannonballs)
• some kids from the street with bottle rockets
• a catapult which launches expired beer
• a leprechaun armed with a knife
• a small pub which can house donated troops who will emerge and defend the base if enemies get too close
• a few dozen landmines which nobody knows the location of because the person who set them up was drunk while doing so
• an extremely precise hose which launches beer down enemy targets' throats causing them to get drunk
• some models of the Central Pub (IRA base equivalent of a town hall) have integrated weapons such as IRA base level 17 which fires multiple mortar rounds made of hot potatoes
• several more weird and clunky machines which use potatoes or beer in some way or another

Attack Strategy

There are lots of different strategies you can use in your attacks but a good strategy generally consists of the following:

1. Funneling: since all your guys have ADHD and always target the nearest thing, you should send out a few of your guys at the start of the attack to destroy less important buildings on the outskirts of the town you're attacking so when you send the rest of your troops in they won't get distracted. You also might need to make put those troops in a position where they will move on to more of those low-prioirity buildings throughout the attack if the town you're attacking has a lot of buildings outside of its walls, because if you don't all your guys could get distracted in the middle of the attack and it can mess the whole thing up. A good strategy for funneling is to send in one of your ranged Heroes such as The Gael with some tea brewers so they can clear a lot of defenses while tanking damage that other troops normally wouldn't be able to due to the tea being poured down The Gael's throat quickly restoring any damage taken from defences.
2. Main Attack: once your funneling guys have cleared the necessary buildings, you should send in the guys who are going to do the main portion of your attack. Suicide Bombers are usually the best way to start this phase of the attack as they will make a clear path through the walls for your troops to follow. Make sure to give your troops the appropriate drinks during this time depending on what kind of attack you're going for; if you're sending in like twenty Volunteers or Drunkards, using green tea is important as they will all be taking a lot of damage. If you're performing your attack with a few really strong units like sending in a few Brigaders, using Peace Line drinks to guide your Brigaders through the attack and black tea to speed up the attack will be pretty effective.
3. Closing Phase: It's a good idea to keep a few guys leftover and not send them into the main attack phase as there will likely be a few buildings remaining on the outskirts of the town that your main DPS troops won't have dealt with since they were busy taking out all the important buildings. You can then deploy these guys to take care of the remaining buildings once the coast is clear. This step is important because after a few minutes the police will arrive at the town and arrest any of your guys who are still there, so you should get your attack done as quickly as you can to ensure they don't get arrested.