Celebrity Advice/Answer 3

Honestly, the places this finger's been - and I don't just mean Bangkok.

Dear Gordon,

I’d say Laos is the place to go. A lot of people will try to steer you towards Thailand but the place is over-run with tourists and the kids are getting wise. Some of them will charge you twenty baht for a hand-job. It’s a bloody disgrace.

You could try Vietnam, it’s easier to get to and there are plenty of hot-looking eight year olds. But you forget to pay off just one cop and then see what happens.

Rock ‘n Roll

Gary

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If you don't like travelling, you can go to Benetton - they sell all different colours

Dear Gordon,

Ignore that sad old perv. If you love children the way I love children (in between touring and recording schedules and while my personal documentary crew are available) I can’t recommend adopting enough.

I got a couple from Malawi last year. They’re great - they don't eat much and they match the wallpaper in my London apartment. We keep the Chinese ones in LA, they just seem to go with the furniture better there.

Vogue,

Madge

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