Albuquerque, New Mexico

Albuquerque
City
The world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn, which I am now banned from for assaulting a big fat hermaphrodite with a flock of seagulls haircut and only one nostril.
Flag
Etymology: Maybe read the article first?
Nickname(s):  Burque, Car Keys, ABQ, BQ, Q
Motto(s):  Ba Kuer Keys, Hell Yeah!
Country	United States
State	New Mexico
County	Bernalillo County
Founded	1706
Founded by	The Spanish
Website	https://archive.org/details/weird-al-albuquerque

Albukirkey Albukirkee Albukerkey Albucarkeys Albuquerque, sometimes called Alburquerque by some Spaintard, and BBQ by some illiterate asshole, is a city in New Mexico and the most populous city in the state, not to be confused with the largest trash pile that their nextdoor neighbor still has on their lawn that they won't clean up. Albuquerque was founded in 1706 as Alburquerque by some Spanish guy who, as was fashionable at the time, named his new city of two and a half people after the hometown of some royal. Like with a lot of cities named after a trashpile in Europe, Albuquerque (after the Yankee conquest they found it too hard to say "albur") is now the city that everybody talks about, probably because it is in a country way cooler than whatever European country Alburquerque is in. You probably didn't even know that Albuquerque was named after another city. As a matter of fact, I can probably guess that you didn't even know that there was a city in Spain named Alburquerque, because nobody lives there! Why do I even need to put the title of this article as "Albuquerque, New Mexico"? Who's searching for "Albuquerque, Spain"? Some Spaniard sitting on his ass with his laptop while he's surrounded by some tourists speaking a language he can't understand?

Come to think of it, I bet half of you looking for this article were expecting this article to be some reference to that Weird Al song he made back in the 90s that people who have never been to New Mexico associate with the city. Well guess what? The reference was already made! It's in that caption of that Holiday Inn picture. I'm TIRED of you people always walking up to me and saying "Hahahaha, you got any glazed donuts?" or "Have you ever eaten soup out of the ashtrays at the Albuquerque Holiday Inn?". It's NOT. FUNNY. I WON'T SHAVE YOUR BACK FOR A NICKEL. STOP. ASKING. ME.

Albuquerque, a place where the constant southern orangy filter is always taking place by Hollywood filmers.

History

Trying to dive into the Albuquerque pool full of history will make you have a concussion, as it's not that deep. Please follow the Pool Safety Guidelines. Albuquerque was founded on 1706, and because of that, they put it on the flag! And on the infobox! It was established as a "Villa", although only consisted of several drug addicts and the Mexican loyalty. In 1821, the actual Mexicans took over the city after Spain was occupied by Napoleon's tits and broken scrambled eggs, and established a badass town plaza in the middle.

Eventually, like everything, the Americans came to change everything, including the name, after several mouths were broken by trying to say too many r's, in which case I say: "Try to say referrers, that has 4!". Anyway, due to the spirit of shooting the native populous and manifest destiny, the Yankees made their way down to New Mexico and got Albuquerque to be sort-of running in 1846.

Despite the Americans running and moving west, the city only had a population of 9,000 in the 1900's. How it gained the other 491,000 people? God knows. No seriously, how else would you explain that? Divine intervention?

Sister Shiti—er, cities

This place is known by some people! Shocking.

• Alburquerque, Spain (Because why not have good relations with the city you took their name from?)

And many others! But nobody cares.

Politics

Both me and you know nothing about politics, all we see is big number go up, and other number go down. But a table wouldn't hurt, would it?

The numbers are in...
Party		Number of Voters
Democratic	A lot	50%
Republican	A lot	49.91%
"Independent"	1	0.01%