Acambaro figurines

This one wanted to sexually assault a caveman

The Acambaro figurines are irrefutable proof that dinosaurs never went extinct 65 million years ago and that dinosaurs has sex often. They were found in Mexico, a country that most certainly does not exist. Around 33,000 were found at the bottom of the ocean (remember, Mexico does not exist) and scientists immediately recognised them as dinosaurs having sex. It is not known why the dinosaurs were depicted masturbating.

Discovery

Two dinosaurs masturbating

In 1944, good Ol' German Mr. Waldemar Julsrud was walking near the town of Acámbaro and found a figurine that looked like two dinosaurs wanking. He declared this as proof of dinosaur porn. He and his hobo farmer friend Bucha Julsrud found more dinosaur figurines and clay figurines of people, such as Egyptians, Sumerians, and "bearded Caucasians", having sex.

In 1945, Julsrud publicly announced his findings and many scientists caught on with the idea of Chalcolithic dinosaur porn. He excavated twenty more of these figurines and had them displayed in the Post Cretaceous Dinosaur Museum by 1970. In 2019, in disbelief, Julsrud's grandson Timma Julsrud burnt down the museum, destroying the priceless and totally not fake dinosaur sex toys.

Dating

The figurines were dated to about 2500 BC. In the 90's, fossil dinosaur bones, also dated to 2500 BC, were found at Acambaro, proving that the clay figures could not be fake. Photographs of dinosaurs taken in 2500 BC also prove that dinosaurs existed during the Chalcolithic.