Zombie Terrorist Spiders

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

It all starts in an airplane flying over the Artict Ocean. Everyone is sitting nicley reading their books or watching very hardcore xxx porn on their computers. Then, there is a huge explosion from the back of the plane. A group twenty terrorists jump out of the bathroom where they had been hiding. Every terrorist is equipped with an RPG and a silenced laser pistol. They start firing at the passengers.

The piolet hears the commotion and kicks down the door to the cock (tee hee) pit and pulls out an RPG while screaming "NOBODY FUCKS WITH MY PLANE!" He shoots his RPG into a terrorists face, and kills him. The other terrorists all fire their RPG's in unison, and kill the pilot. The copilot is to busy jacking off until he cock bleads to notice the commotion.

This eighty year old woman with really droopy tits realizes now is her time to strike. She takes her breathing tank and hits a terrorist with it. Then, she presses down on the button on top of the tank and it turns into an RPG, which she used to kill all the other terrorists. But, the last explosion killed the her too.

Then, the second bathroom opens, and a terrorist with a nuclear bomb strapped to his chest steps out. He pulls a trigger out of his pocket and presses it. The timer on the bomb now reads 00:00:30. Some random civilian, his name is Regenold, grabs the terrorist and jumps out of the window. As he falls, he punches the terrorist with one hand, with the other he tries to defuse the bomb, and with his foot, he jacks off rapidly. Regenold realizes that it is too late, and lets the terrorist go. The bomb explodes right next to the plane, they didn't fall far, and every terrorist on board is turned into a zombie.

Information[edit | edit source]

The BRAINZ organization is led by Osama Bin Zombie. Their Religious leader is Zombie Jesus. The BRAINZ organisation has been in nonstop killing sprees where they send in their special infected such as the zombie cats, kamikaze zombies, and their newest addition zombie superheroes.

Wolverine is the craziest and toughest of the Zombie Heroes.

Their most vicious Zombie Hero is Wolverine. His claws allow him to infect many and hardly get a scratch. Although he has invincibility, the infection still got in through a small cut, once inside the cut healed and the infection was trapped inside.

The Following Years[edit | edit source]

All the civilians on the plane were mutated, sad but true, and the terrorist zombies formed their own secret group of terrorists. When asked about this in an interview with one of our journalists, the zombie responded by saying "UGGGGGGGGGG...ALLA...BRAINS". Soon after saying this, our journalist was ripped limb from limd and turned into a terrorist zombie. The zombies soon began attacking civilians and spreading the zombie disease (a mutated form of H1N1, otherwise known as SWINE!!) throughout the world.

The threat soon made its way to the White House. President Obama knew what he had to do. He called his CIA official, and while removing his aviator sunglasses slowly, he had the official call in his men to deal with the problem. The terrorist zombies became a whole new threat. The only name we could call them was the first thing they uttered. BRAINZ. This stands for Biluminesent, Radioactive, Atheist, Interecollective, Zombies. These followers of Zombie Jesus are a force to be reckoned with. Ever since that day, these terrorist zombies have been dropping their kamikazes all over the world. These kamikazes are zombies who walk out of a plane and try to land in a crowd of people where they will begin to bite and scratch all people trying to infect them. One scrath or bite from these deadly zombies will change you into one in a matter of hours.

Here Is the Recent BRAINZ activity in the US[edit | edit source]

center‎


This is one of BRAINZ organizations most recent conquests, THE ZOMBIE CAT. When in trouble or in need of help, they send out their crews of ZOMBIE CATS to take care of any opposition.

A new member of BRAINZ that enjoys long walks in the park and feeding on human flesh.

The Final Battle[edit | edit source]

Little Timmy, a three year old who is constantly beaten and raped by his father, is buying popcorn at the movie with a friend, Franklin, and Franklin's mom. As Timmy orders his popcorn, a zombie and his zombie cat attack him and his friend. They then grab Franklin's mother and rape her in the eye. She was last heard saying "Damn, never though of doing it this way!".

The CIA was on the spot within the first five hours. By then, the zombies had created a base. They had equipped a series of turrets that shot small Asian babies rigged to explode on impact. The first wave of CIA was mauled on site, but the CIA had a secret weapon, George Bush. George, equipped with nothing but his bare hands, ran into a group of zombies. He was immediately bitten and turned into a zombie.

A BRAINZ recruit agent.

Little did the zombies know, George had planned to become a zombie. He now had their strength and power, and used it for good. He started pwning (pwning- from the word to pwn, basically means to destroy) the zombies. Then, the zombies parted in front of George, and before him stood Osama Binladin, in full zombie form.

George stood silent, picked up a pair of aviator glasses from the ground, and puts them on. "So, after years of searching, I have finally found you." George said while slowly taking off the aviator glasses.

Ozombie Bin Ladin. Leader of BRAINZ.

"Why it seems that you have!" said Osama, while he slowly took of the cheap $5 Iraq version of a pair of Aviator glasses.

"Well, I know how to stop you and you reign of terrorism once and for all!" said George, and split himself in half. Now two halfs of George Bush stood ready to fight.

"Two against one is hardly fair! Let me fix that problem." Said Osama. He then split himself in half, but he did not have the same ability as George, and ended up killing himself.

George just stood there, and realized something he hadn't thought of before splitting himself down the middle. Damn, thought George, How am I supposed to have sex?

Post Zombie Outbreak Times[edit | edit source]

The zombie cats have taken control of the world. Everything above is true, just fifteen years from now. You have to listen to me, do not elect Obama, he takes the troos out or Iraq and they start this whole problem! You have to listen! Please! Believe m-