User talk:Uncyclopedian/The Battle of DiZ and Uncyclopedian

This is the story that must be written:

Thou art an example of pure perfection. Uncyclopedian 20:47, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

Rise, for thou art knighted under the name of DiZ the Great. Suck my left toe now!

<sucks DiZ's amazingly clean and perfect left toe> Perfection at it's finest. DiZ. Be ruled by him now. Uncyclopedian 20:52, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

Wow, you actually did it......Uh, okay. Go frolic in a field somewhere. And clean your mouth.

Note: amazingly clean and perfect left toe. <washes mouth with mouthwash> <finds out Listerine attracts Grues> <washes mouth with different mouthwash> Uncyclopedian 20:55, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

You should use Scope, if you prefer to be eaten by a Sugarglider. Anyways, I'm logging out now, so I won't really be able to respond to your messages till later. I will see thee later...<Logs Out of Uncyclopedia> <World comes to an end>

<makes giant statue of DiZ> Uncyclopedian 21:04, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

I'm back, bitches!!! Had to do something else, but now I'm back to kick some sweet ass! <Looks at Uncyclopedian's statue critically> <Smashes it with blunt, decisive force> <Demands larger statue to be built>-- DiZtheGreat ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) 21:36, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

<makes a statue of DiZ that is 2000000 times the height of the Empire State Building> Here is a larger statue, and it is closer to perfection. Hey, I have an idea. Maybe you should make a subpage of your user page, where people put themselves on a list of people ruled by DiZ, and give people who put their name on a template saying that they are members of DiZ's Kingdom. <gives tribute to DiZ> Uncyclopedian 22:25, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

I'll consider it. Right now, I'm hungry. BTW, thanx for the Ninjastar. <grabs Ninjastar and flings it at Uncyclopedian> <star lands right between legs on the wall behind> <DiZ walks away in a very cool manner, acknowledging his dominion over everything>

<gives star back to DiZ, after washing it> <washes DiZ's castle> Uncyclopedian 22:59, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

<funds DiZ's page> <adds quote to DiZ's page to fund it> <gives Uncyclo-Bomb to DiZ> I am the inventor of the Uncyclo-Bomb you are holding in your hands. Uncyclopedian 23:21, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

<Digs a twenty-foot trench in the Earth with amazing speed> <drops Uncyclo-Bomb into trench> *Bomb explodes* <laughs wickedly> who's the boss, now, huh? <challenges Uncyclopedian to duel>

<Wikipedians digging tunnel under DiZ's castle scream in pain> Ah, the Uncyclo-Bomb is working perfectly. It doesn't affect us, but it affects Wikipedians. Plus, about the duel, I hid a Pop Bomb in your armor today. <pop bomb explodes> <Uncyclopedian kicks a Wikipedian in the stomach> Uncyclopedian 23:38, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

I'm immune to pop-bombs. My skin is made of tightly-woven carbon fibers and essence of rhinoceros horn. But I admire your tenacity. What the hell, take another NinjaStar!

Time to test my Tightly-Woven Carbon Fiber and Essence of Rhinoceros Horn Destroyer(TWCFAEORHD for short). <fires TWCFAEORHD> <DiZ is sent to an underground cage made by Wikipedians> Darn it! Uncyclopedian 23:56, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

Well, at least it stopped him for a bit. <sits in DiZ's throne> Uncyclopedian 00:00, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

<Escapes form cage using the Force> <Running from zombified wikipedians> <Fires weaselpudge-powered hand grenade> < destroys Wikipedians using ze powa' of ze weAseLL!> This is getting really out-of-hand. How many more will have to suffer? Apparently, the answer's three, as now there comes a trio of deadly sugargliders coming to bite off DiZ's face. <Runs>

What? Sitting on my throne?!! <Slaps Uncyclopedian like a bitch> And don't ever let me catch you on my throne again! That's real suede! Costs me a fortune....

<fires the TWCFAEORHD at DiZ> <DiZ is now in the clutches of Jimbo Wales> YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <sits in throne> <gets off throne> <invites Wikipedians to castle> <gets out of castle> HA ha ha!

<Wikipedians swarm castle> Try beating this, DiZ. Uncyclopedian 00:48, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

He hasn't fought back. Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Uncyclopedian 01:00, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

I'm back, yo! Hey, who locked my castle? UNCYCLOPEDIAN!!!!! <stands back from opposite side of moat> <fires arrow tipped with special key to open castle> <castle opens> What the Hell are all these Wikipedians doing in my citadel of pain? <Launches castle-defense mechanism> <Wikipedians die in an inferno of pain> <storms to throne room> "Get off me throne!" yells DiZ. "Nay!" yells the heathen. "Then die!" <fires plasma-cannon> BOOM BOOM -- DiZtheGreat ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) 02:05, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

<sends DiZ to Jimbo Wales> <removes all security features> <invites Wikipedians to castle again> <wikipedians swarm castle> <lock castle> <send grue to DiZ> <lock windows> I have the only key!Uncyclopedian 02:50, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

This won't end, will it? <DiZ sends out grue to attack other grue> <Grues merge into Super-Grue> I don't remember what happenned after that. I think they ate me. Probably.

Nope, Jimbo killed it, and in the frenzy of things, you escaped.

Good..uuh... I guess I fled to the Swiss Alps...and met a family of traveling....monkey tamers? They invited me into their home, but I was shocked to find they were....Russian spies? I guess.

Oh, what's this now? My statue! Screw you, I'm going to Chili's. <Heads to Chili's> <gets mugged by rogue Wikipedian> <looks to ground with blank stare> I have no money for Chili's....baby-back ribs...

You are still in your locked castle full of Wikipedians. Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Locked castle. <Wikipedian attacks DiZ> <Other Wikipedian sits in throne> I teleport Jimbo into the castle

There was a magical elf in the castle who transported me to Chili's <Uncyclopedian teleports you back>. So there! Still, uh...I guess I'll attack the Wikipedian with the mohawk and let the short one fight the one with the earring. Yeah. <attacks the Wikipedian with the mohawk and lets the short one fight the one with the earring> <Kills all evil Wikipedians and challenges Uncyclopedian to a magical duel> Abra-cadabra! Bruu-hahahahaha!!!

There was a magical elf in the castle who transported me to Chili's. So there! Still, uh...I guess I'll attack the Wikipedian with the mohawk and let the short one fight the one with the earring. Yeah. <attacks the Wikipedian with the mohawk and lets the short one fight the one with the earring> <Kills all evil Wikipedians and challenges Uncyclopedian to a magical duel> Abra-cadabra! Bruu-hahahahaha!!! Also, this is my last comment for the day, since I don't know where you are, but it's nighttime where I live, and I've got to get some sleep. <Yawns> I hate time-zone differentials... Why the fuck is everything in italics???

Yeah, why is everything in italics?

I'll figure out the italics thing tomorrow. as for the Wikipedians, let 'em swarm for today. We're all going to Hell anyways. <Yawns again> <goes to bed>

<steals minor treasures of DiZ> <teleports DiZ out of his bed> Uncyclopedian 14:16, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

<teleports loads of wikipedians including that wales guy into castle> Uncyclopedian 15:11, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

Hey, I fixed the italics! Weeeeeeeee!!! Now, why am I in a dungeon? Goddamnyou Uncyclopedian! My vengeance shall be tenfold! <teleports out of dungeon to secret test facility in Nevada mountains>

congratulations. you made DiZ cry.

<cast spell that makes sure DiZ can't cry> <Wikipedians attack DiZ> <That wales guy attacks DiZ> Uncyclopedian 15:36, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

Now you're just taking advantage of me. <releases cherry bomb that stops all magic> <cockpunches wales guy. And Uncyclopedian>

You negated yourself. It had no effect. Uncyclopedian 16:08, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

I'm tired of this. Let's agree: you give me back my castle, and I give you the position of viceroy of the DiZian throne. If I die, you become ruler of my kingdom. --Señor DiZtheGreat CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 16:12, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

I would rather see my archenemy, Jimbo Wales take it, I can't let you stay as ruler of this area! <teleports DiZ into dungeon>

<waits> <adds to Uncyclopedia> Uncyclopedian 16:21, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

Fine. Jimbo can have it. Just end this already. My User page is full to bursting. DiZ out. --Señor DiZtheGreat CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 16:22, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

That's right. Go home.....

I win the duel!

I challenge you in a summoning duel! Uncyclopedian 16:33, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

Summoning what?

Hmm...maybe characters from assorted computer games?

Points: DiZ: 0 Uncyclopedian: 0

Uuhh..whatever? Go......Pikachu! <casts spell that brings a computer game character to the real world> <A blonde haired man appears. He is dressed like a pirate. He says, "I wanna be a pirate!".> Ha! Guybrush Threepwood is fighting your Pikachu! Uncyclopedian 16:47, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

Enough. Seriously. Learn from the Ninjastar I gave you and take a chill pill. <Gives Uncyclopedian a chill pill> Really, that's it.

"I surrender." says DiZ.

"I don't rule anymore around here." says DiZ. Uncyclopedian 18:21, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

"I shouldn't have been around in the first place!" says DiZ.

Don't get bitter, I still love you ;-)

Wait, he didn't say all that above. <Guybrush Threepwood disappears> 2 out of 3, OK?

User talk:Uncyclopedian/The Battle of DiZ and Uncyclopedian

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