User talk:Redshift

Welcome!

Here, have a cake for joining!

Hello, Redshift, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for you

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Redshift/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you want to do stuff and don't know where to begin, pick a random link out of this list:

• Kill some lists
• Make pages bigger
• Fix some pages
• Clean up some pages
• Build new roads so there's no dead ends
• Give pages lots of redeeming value
• Kill some red links
• Rewrite pages
• Rewrite some more pages
• Rewrite yet more pages
• Rewrite even more pages
• Make pages nicer
• Construct some articles
• Improve some ideas
• Add more cowbell
• Make pages unlame

If that's not enough stuff for ya to do, then ask for more ideas!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome! JudgeZarbi TALK 12:15, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

Welcome, and get a grip

I wrote the Snuggie article that has been voted for VFH (Votes For Highlight), which is being featured today, January 2, 2009. Its common for articles being featured to get conetnt added to them by various contributors. This article has a "cult" theme to it and the text I reverted didn't. I should also add that I tend to police my articles very closely. I would also hope that you would refrain from using the "F"-bomb if at all possible, it isn't nice, and it doesn't curry favor with most users on this site. I would love to read some of the original material that you have contributed and look forward to it! Hugs! Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 02:47, 2 January 2009 (UTC)