User talk:Criminalpimper

Your article

Hi there Criminalpimper, just a quick note for future reference, if you want your article gone then you should list it under QVFD and type "Author request" after the article title. If you blank the page you set off the alarms of everyone who patrols the wiki for vandalism and may even find yourself reported to ban patrol. If you have any further questions then you can ask me on my talk page at any time. Thanks --ChiefjusticeXBox 17:48, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

I'm a cock

I understand you are somewhat annoyed because I deleted your article, allow me to explain a couple of things. Firstly we have a huge number of articles made here every day, the vast majority are of an exceptionally poor standard or are vanity or cyberbullying, since I spend vast amounts of time trying to clear these up I tend to assume that most articles concerning something wikipedia or google has not heard of is vanity. Your article, which I assume was the Daft Spunk one looked like vanity to me when I read it and so I deleted it after googling the name and checking wikipedia. However, I am not here to stamp out your creative spark, nor am I here to oppress you in any way. If you explain to me in a civil and constructive manner what your intention with the article was then I will be more than happy to restore it to your user space where you can work on it at your leisure. I am here to help you, not ban you or delete your every contribution. How would you like to proceed? --ChiefjusticeXBox 18:16, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

hello well thankyou for replying

yes as you can obviously see i havent been a member for very long and at the moment im kind of playing around with the articles. I do not believe you are a 'cock' although i didnt think you would take any notice if i simply left a little note somewhere so making a big fuss such as exclaiming that you are a cock got your attention. i am under no illusions that the 'daft spunk' page was hillariously funny, i know it wasnt brilliant. Although it was far from done, i wanted to get the basic points down before continuing later in the week or when i had more time, i am not fully aware of how to use the 'sandbox' feature or whatever it is called, i dont know where i can store unfinished articles, if you can explain simply then i will be very gratefull thankyou.

Certainly, what I will do is return the article to your user space in the same form as before deletion and provide a link to it on your user page. Basically when your article is in your user space no administrator will delete it unless it contains cyberbullying, you can work on it as long as you like and then once you are done you can move it into the main article space. User subpages are excellent for storing unfinished articles as you can keep them there as long as you like. If you need any help with the article then you can ask other users like myself. Read the beginner's guide and HTBFANJS for more useful tips on editing. Watch your userpage for a link to your article. Feel free to ask any further questions here. Hope this helps. --ChiefjusticeXBox 18:31, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

thankyou, i understand you must read alot of articles every day so thankyou for having the decency to reply. So just to clarify, my article isnt actually free for everyone to read its shoved somewhere in my account? im sorry for sounding stupid i read all the pages you gave me and others on how to make articles although some of the jargon is a bit confusing, i kinda need retard language. So is it safe for me to change it and stuff? you dont have to reply to this if you think im just wasting your time.

Your article is in your user area, the page it is on is like a second user page, imagine if you will that your user space is a house, your user subpages would be rooms in that house. If you take a look at your user page (here) you will find a link to it. Anyone can read it and edit it, and the admins will protect it from vandalism as we would any normal article but we won't delete it. So you can keep it in any form that doesn't violate our policies, and it will be safe from deletion. You can certainly edit it, just treat it as a normal article, but one that is safe from deletion. When you are finished contact myself or another user and ask for it to be moved into the main article space. I hope this makes things clearer. --ChiefjusticeXBox 18:50, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

yes thats much clearer now. thanks for taking time to explain things to me i will be sure to write more articles and spend alot more time on them improving them. thanks again!

Welcome, initiate, to Uncyclopedia!

Father Why do I need to provide this? welcomes you to the wondrous world of Uncyclopedia!

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Greetings, Initiate Criminalpimper, and welcome to the Temple of Uncyclopedia! (If you aren't yet ready to accept Sophia as your Holy Potato, see your alternate secular welcome).

Thank you for your current and future contributions, assuming, of course, you aren't possessed with the spirit of a vandal. I pray that you have a long, happy and productive life here. But if you really want to leave, you can pass through the door that says "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here." But I wouldn't recommend it.

BEGINNING YOUR NEW LIFE

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This series consists of six lessons designed to Uncyclopedically guide you, the new believer, to living the life that would be pleasing to Sophia. These lessons will show that Sophia has given the new Uncyclopedian specific instructions as to how to live the very best life here possible, which means avoiding getting ceremoniously fried in boiling oil. (We don't really do that. Honest. Would I lie?)

• Beginner's Guide
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• How to be funny and not just stupid

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At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your Sophiacal creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Criminalpimper/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold, cruel world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - on the top of it.

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Where can you go for help?

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. I was an adopted noob, and it kept me out of trouble. Well, some of the time. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to apply to be adopted. Again, welcome!   Father WHY??? (confessions)  03:14, April 24, 2010 (UTC)