User:Willy on wheels!/Internet police

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Ffxi9.jpg
This page is or discusses a loony and/or nutty conspiracy theory of which Uncyclopedia vehemently denies knowledge and existence.
The black helicopters are not ^on their way.
Due to their secretive nature, we can only speculate on what an agent of the Internet Police may look like.

The Internet Police are a mysterious group of pale-faced nerds; essentially the Internet version of the Illuminati. They often patrol Internet chatrooms looking for poor grammar and indecency.

History[edit | edit source]

The internet police have existed as long as time itself. For most of their existence they were a rag-tag group of vigilantes, patrolling the internet for bad grammar and pwning n00bs.

After Computers took over the world in Y2K, the internet police became a part of everyday life. Their ever-watchful eye now controls all of the internet, mainly anything with a copyright notice or something that you could sue over.

No part of the Internet is sacred. On second thought, that's one thing that has stayed the same.

What to do if confronted by the I.P.[edit | edit source]

Many Internet Police will randomly question AIM users. They use the code-word "A.S.L.", which stands for Ascertain Suspect Location. If you are asked this by an agent of the internet police, you must immediately provide your complete home address. Failure to do so may get you Banned from the Internet, or even totally pwned.

Here is the typical reaction to the Internet Police:


<notfromthepolice> hey, wanna cyber?? :)

<lame1726> hehe ok

<notfromthepolice> asl

<lame1726> O SHIT ITS TEH FUZZ

*lame 1726 signed off*

Or, alternatively in conversations involving British people:

<paddington> So, how's the pr0n I sent you, bat?

<bobby> lololo

<batfish> ZOMG it's the copz0rz! Leggit!

*paddington has quit*

This is obviously not recommended unless you can get to Mexico by sundown. The Internet Police have a variety of 1337 skillz at their disposal and will use every available resource to track you down. For most cases, you should cooperate with them as much as possible. You can make them feel better by providing your full name, social security, and credit card information. Most agents will not take monetary bribes, but many can be paid off in cheat codes for the latest version of SOCOM.

Failing that, you can always stop, drop, and roll.

People who have been terminated by the I.P.[edit | edit source]

Grammar[edit | edit source]

The grammar used by the internet police is known as today as "SFOAL" SFOAL stands for "Shit Fuck Of A Language." They choose to speak in letter words to conserve their finger energy. Also, anyone who speaks this language should immediately be interrogated until they decide to use FUCKING ENGLISH! This includes emailers, chatroom writers, and even... UNCYCLOPEDIA EDITORS! Holy Shit I know. So for those that do not want to identified as these internet police, write correctly. Many of you out there may think I am a bastard, but stay at of denial.

See also[edit | edit source]

Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=User:Willy_on_wheels!/Internet_police&oldid=5863418"