User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/114
Episode 114:Advance Wars[edit | edit source]
(Scene in a courtyard below a skyscraper with the Group's plane smashed into it. Trousers is missing, but nobody notices.)
Grue Army soldier: What...no...it can't...be... <dies>
(Switch scenes. Snape ends up killing Dumbledore. Switch back to the group)
Han: I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE ON YOU, BUSH!!!
Bush: TERRORIST!
Han: DAMNIT, WE AREN'T TERRORISTS!
American General: Yeah, SURE...That's what Tom Cruise said.
(Borgat pops out from under the ground, he kills the American general)
(In Nova Lulzspect...)
Argon: YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS! YOU CAN'T EVEN WORK A COMPUTER!
(And back.)
(Bush kills Garm)
Shandion: OH MY GOD YOU KILLED GA-
Everyone else: WE ALL KNOW ALREADY!!!
Shandion: -RM! YOU BASTARD!!
Kim: Goo goo idiot. <Points to Bush>
Bush: Just because I lost in "First Grade Social Studies" in Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader doesn't mean I'm an idiot!
Cerid: Kim, who has been taking are of you?
Kim: Me goo gaa.
Borgat: Where is the Doctor of Trousers?
(Scene to the Tousers in a black, strange dimension. A man in a suit is in front of Trousers.)
Man: Rise. and shine Doctor Trousers. It's time to wake up, and smell the ashes.
Trousers: Fuck, not you again.
Man: I've got quite the asssssssignment for you.
(Back with the group, Kim is teasing Bush)
Kim: His brain goo! <points to Bush>
Adam: Bush, what does 1+1 equal?
Bush: 349.
Borgat: No, 2.
Adam: Wow, Bush failed on "Are You Smarter Than Someone With An IQ of 0.1"!!!
American Captain: Wait, if that group are terrorists... why do they have a baby with them?
American Soldier: They are terrorist baby-snatchers!!!
Aquarii: No, we are not! The baby is my own, and the mother is captured by EDia- er... TERRORISTS!
Braycat: Did you have to remind me?
Bush: BLASPHEMY!
(American troops aim at the group, and a force of Grue Army soldiers come in)
(A REALLY REALLY BIG EXPLOSION occurs in the city. Civillians are running for their lives, screaming their heads off. EDian Scouts ride into the city on motorcycles)
Han: REALLY great timing, eh?
(The Americans destroy the terrorist EDians)
American: Those were his troops! They MUST be terrorists!
Han: No, THOSE are my troops. <points at Grue Army>
Grue Army Soldier: Fire at the Americans!!!
Adam: Oh shit. Who led that platoon anyway?
(Marshal Froggy is leading them)
Froggy: RIBBBBBBBIT!!!!!!!
(In Nova Lulzspect, Keira is delivered on cart. She has been changed to a 100% EDian Soldier. Her memories have been altered to serve ED, as well as a few bodily implants.)
Argon: IT'S COMPLETE! HA HAHAAHAHAHAHA! Lulz.
(Camera goes to shot of Nova Lulzspect. Thunder strikes behind the base. An EDian joins in the laugh. Argon slaps him.)
Argon: Shutup and bring me some coffee.
(Meanwhile Trousers is now on a train to the ED capital and headquarters.)
Trousers: God damn you, whatever the hell your name is. I swear the next time you make me play bridge with somebody I'm going to rip your face off.
(The train is stopped at an EDian Army checkpoint. Switch scenes to with the group.)
Bush: I called in the Canadian forces now to eliminate you terrorists. They want a bit of the reward too.
(A group of Mounties come in the area, as well as a half-wolf)
Benton Fraser: Ugh, terrorists.
Diefenbaker: Woof!
Adam: We are now screwed. This guy is that Benton Fraser fellow.
(Ray Vecchio, an American detective, comes in)
Ray: I come here to take down some terrorists, and now I find an army of them!!!
Nikita: We aren't terrorists!
Dizberg: No, really.
Ray: That's what they ALL say.
Adam: Can I have your autograph?
(Han punches Adam)
Emmzed: Canadians? But I'm a Canadian!
Bush: D'OH!
Adam: I am a Canadian too! And I recognise one of the mounties from a TV show!!!
(A mountie misfires, killing Garm)
Shandion: OH MY GO-
(Han punches Shandion)
Shandion: -D YOU KILLED GARM!!! YOU BASTARD!!!
Bush: Well, there's the Native America-
Braycat: After stealing our land, killing us, putting us on reservations.... no.
Bush: The Germans?
Dizberg: No.
Bush: The commies?
C: COMMIES ROCK!!!
Bush: The catholics?
Priest: No.
Bush: The French?
Rene: NO!! I ANNEX THIS SOLAR SYSTEM TO FRANCE!!!
Bush: The Grue Army?
Han: ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!
(Bush calls in the Mexicans. Tortilla is leading the Mexican forces)
Tortilla: TODAY, WE DESTROY BENSON!!!
(Benson blows up the Mexicans)
(War breaks out)
(Scene to Nova Lulzscota)
Argon: Ok, Keira, now that you are on my side...
EDian: ...I want you to kill Peter Parker.
Argon: You, shut up. Kill any Grue Army troops. Act like you escaped.
Keira: (Vocodor on) Yes sir.
(Keira gets on a plane, and it crashes directly into the Mexicans)
Braycat: KEIRA!!!
Keira: (Vocodor on) I have finally escaped. How are you, my friends.
Aquarii: BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMBY BOMB!!!
(A huge load of American jets explode.)
(An American gunner shoots Keira. Aquarii jumps in front of the bullet)
Aquarii: BulletBOMB!!!
(The bullet explodes)
Aquarii: REALTIMEBOMB!!!
(A 24 dvd explodes. Aquarii bursts into tears)
Keira: (Vocodor On) What is the meaning of this, comrade?
Aquarii: 24!!! 24!!! I MISSED THE SEASON FINALE OF 24!!!
American: ENOUGH TEARS, LETS FIGHT!!!
Fraser: No. Lets not fight.
Adam: Can I have your autograph?
(Han punches Adam, and Bush searches for WMDs. Credits roll)
Episodes:
Season One:
ABOUT - 55 - 56 - 57 - 58 - 59 - 60 - 61 - 62 - 63 - 64 - 65 - 66 - 67 - 69 - 70 - 71 - 72 - 73 - 75 - 76 - 77 - 78 - 79 - 80 - 81 - 82 - 83 - 84 - 85 - 86 - 87 - 88 - 89 - 90 - 91 - 95 - 97 - 100 - 102 - 104 - 105 - 106 - 107 - 108 - 109 - 110 - 111 - 112 - Season Finale
Season Two:
114 - 115 - 116 - 117 - 118 - 119 - 120 - 121 - 122 - 123 - 124 - 125 - 126 - 127 - 128 - 129 - 131 - 137 - Season Finale
Season Three:
149 - 150 - 155 - 162 - 163 - 164 - 165 - 166 - 167 - 168 - 169 - 170 - 171 - 172 - 173 - 174 - 175 - 176 - 177 - 178 - 179 - Season Finale
Season Four:
181 -
Episode lists and summary - List of characters - Auditions - In-Jokes