User:TheSlyFox/Latios and Latias
DJ Is this thing on? What? We're on the air!?
Agh--ahem, yes, you're listening to KPOK, San Francisco talk radio. This is "DJ Unpsych" and I'll be your host for the remainder of the evening. For the past hour, you've been listening to our contractually-obliged broadcast of Glenn Beck's final show before he is booted off the air, and I can't say that I'll miss him. ...What? I wasn't supposed to say that? Well, it doesn't matter, you know where to send the hate mail, people!
For your five-o'clock drive home, we have two very special guests here in the studio tonight. They're called Latios and Latias two... uh, Legendary... erm, Pokeymans. Recently shown in a very popular--
LATIAS: Mon.
DJ: Pardon?
LATIAS: Pokémon. You know, like Jamaican? "We all cool here tonight, man. Rasta."
DJ: Right, right, I forgot about that Jamaican... Bob Marley thing... Well as I was saying, we have two brother-and-sister Pokémon with us tonight to tell us about their role in the latest Pokémon film.
LATIAS: Hi~~i! Say something, bro.
LATIOS: ...
LATIAS: He's a bit shy.
DJ: Shy? He did know this was a radio show before he came here, right? I mean, come on...
LATIAS: Umm... Well, I uh... Oooh, what this this button do!?
recording: It's time for RUSH LIMBAUGH!!! He's the spokesman for the Republican Party, and an ASS-*bleep* TO BOOT!!!
DJ: Oh dear...
LATIAS: Woohoo!
DJ: You listen to him often?
LATIAS: What? Listen to who? Oh no, I just like the big, boomy voice! That wouldn't be you would it? Oh, such a sexy voi--
DJ: My usual listeners might be wondering why I've brought two mythical creatures into my studio tonight. Get off me right now or you'll be hearing from my lawyer. Normally, we would be bringing you the latest and greatest in conservative talk radio, but we've been getting a lot of angry letters in the mail recently.
LATIAS: Ooh! Ooh! I think I sent one of them! I send out angry letters all the time! You know, about global warning, the ecomony, and--and... oh yes, sex on TV. You know, kids really shouldn't be exposed to that sort of thing.
DJ: ...Uh-huh. You know, I think I'm going to send a letter to Rush Limbaugh and recommend that he have you as a guest on his talk show.
LATIAS: Wow, really!? I've always wanted to be on the radio!
DJ: Just keep doing everything you are now. You're absolutely perfect for Rush's show. Now, I've prepared a few questions for you, Latina.
LATIAS: Excuse me?
DJ: Sorry Latias, I just--
LATIAS: How dare you!? How could you ever think I was a-- wait, what's a Latina?
DJ: Umm... It's a... new drink they're serving at the local drive-in. And if you pull up in a Beaner, they give you free refills. Why is everybody looking at me like that?
...
LATIAS: Does that mean I'm a drink now!? Oh, how cute! You know, they make all kinds of toys that look like me. Sometimes I just wonder what all those boys are doing with me right about now...
...
DJ: ...All right, then! My first question is for Latios. What kind of role do you get in your latest film? Could you describe your character for us?
LATIOS: ...Well, it's really a--
LATIAS: He really doesn't talk much, you know. I do most of the talking for him in situations like this.
DJ: Well, don't you think he should get a chance--
LATIAS: I mean, my brother's awesome and all, but he really doesn't do much in this movie. He's a guardian like me, but he plays that boring, old "knight in shining armor" guy who comes to save me, but that's not the best part. The really good part is when we all get into a hot tub... Oh, yes, we all get into a hot tub and reveal our feelings to each other, *wink-wink* and then... Wait, that was another movie.
DJ: I guess we won't be seeing that movie in the local Blockbuster, will we?
LATIAS: Oh yeah, I forgot, this is a kids' show, ha ha ha... ha... erm... Is it hot in here or is it just me?
DJ: ...I'd prefer not to answer that question.
LATIAS: Probably a good idea.
DJ: Latias, I have a question for you. Do you have a... love interest in this movie?... Oh, come on, who wrote these questions!?
LATIAS:Omigod! omigod! omigod! Ashy-kins! He is so my boyfriend in real life!
DJ: That would be the ten-year-old kid from the movie, right?
LATIAS:Yeah, but...
LATIOS: Okay, I have to say this: wasn't he a bit young for you?
LATIAS: Puh-leez! I've been around for a thousand years, and I think it's high time I got some action from someone younger than me!
DJ: ...Okay, moving on to the next question--
LATIAS: All I did was invite him into my secret garden and ask him to play with me! He really didn't like it at first, but I wanted him to stay forever and ever and devote his entire existence to me! Then he would be mine and I would be... well, never mind.
DJ: He's not even in your species.
LATIAS: But I can change into human form! Watch, I'll do it right now for you.
DJ: Wait, that's not necessary--
LATIAS: There! Now I'll show you what a guardian can really do!
DJ: AAAAAAAAA!!!!
ORIGINAL TEXT BELOW. I DID NOT WRITE THIS CRAP, THUS I DISCLAIM ALL LIABILITY FOR IMPLODING EYES BEYOND THIS POINT. It is here only for reference purposes. You have been warned...
What does this button do?[edit | edit source]
That's the "new section" button. Could you please try not to push it?
So anyway, let's start with a history.
Background Information[edit | edit source]
At first Latios and Latias lived in Alto Mare(yes the conquered Venice and renamed it.it is currently under siege by the Romans and Italians)Bianca says that that means "High Sea"! So. Yeah. Alto Mare is a rather old, Italian city There are canals! And roads! And lots and lots of people! And it's my brother's and my job to make it so people don't hurt it! Latias could you please-- My brother is guarding it right now! He got turned into a crystal for a while...but I made him better. I...don't want to know what that sudden change in expression and voice now just meant, do I? Prob'ly not. So, anyway, Ash came to the city of Alto Mare at one point, and Ashy-kins! I love him so much! ♥♥♥
...Um. That was unexpected. Anyway he was brought to the Secret Garden by Latias Me! I brought him there so we could do...stuff. Like play, but mostly each other.
...Did not need to know that...I'll need the brain bleach after this.... Anyway, at this time two thieves named Annie and Oakley also arrived in Alto Mare to steal They were trying to steal the Soul Dew! And that's terrible. It's this glass ball that has a soul in it! Yeah, I was going to get to It makes it so there's water in all the canals in town! That and that And it can be used as part of a machine in the museum! And that. So first they tried to kidnap Latias Yeah, they used their Pokémon's psychokinesis and webbing on me, and it hurt sort of but only a little and it wasn't a threat and it was kinda fun actually, but then Ash came and Pikachu made them go away with electricity. Um, more or less. From what we can tell from the records on Annie and Oakley's computer, they then started stalking Ash because they thought he had something to do with Latias. They followed him straight into the Secret Garden. Then when knight fell They came into the garden evilly! They had energy nets and stuff now and they kidnapped my brother. ;_; ;_; ;_; And stole the Soul Dew too.
...Yeah. They used the Soul Dew and Latios to activate the machine in the museum And I went to get help from Ash! They used it to lock down the entire city and make some fossil Pokémon come back to life to catch me! So, as I was saying, Ash tried to get there by gondola But Aerodactyl blew it up! So we used a racing water chariot to escape it. Then the Kabutops almost killed Ash but his friends shot it and it died. Yeah. So they made it to the museum But there was a water monster from Annie and Oakley's control machine! So I used Mist Ball and killed it. That's...more or less what happened...after that After that we made it to the building but the machine had gone berserk! I used Mist Ball again to save Latios who was being used as its power source and it shut down but then Annie was a complete moron and touched the Soul Dew when it was black and it exploded! Sooo~oo that wasn't good so So that caused the water to leave the city and then It was coming back as a huge wave! It would have killed everyone but Brother and I used Luster Purge and Mist Ball and blew it up instead. That...would work as a description of what happened...anyway, Latios was too wounded to survive, and he died. Don't remind me...it was so sad ;_; But he's better now so it's okay. He was converted into another Soul Dew to replace the one that was destroyed...
Wait. What?
Did you just say he's better now?
Yeah, I made him get better with Annie and Oakley. Ya know how they escaped that maximum security prison? They didn't really, it was me. Now they're in the Soul Dew~~! That's equivalent exchange for ya~!
...Let's move on.
Latios[edit | edit source]
He's my big brother! I love him so much, but not in the same way I love Ash because that would be incest. Latios is a Pokémon. He resembles a dragon, and also resembles and can fly as fast as A jet plane! But he has to get up to speed, but he's still really fast in sudden movements as well. Latios is a psychic/dragon type Yeah! We can fly with our minds! He is able to hover freely due to his psychokinetic abilities. He is very protective of the Secret Garden and of his sister Latias. He was thought dead, but I have recently been informed that he has returned to life. Yeah, yeah! Now he guards the Soul Dew again~! He's also got some other people to help! They've got AK-47s and can shoot people who aren't supposed to be there. Apparently he has hired private security to help defend the Secret Garden. His special attack is Luster Purge, which is THE SEARING LIGHT OF JUSTICE! It makes the bad guys fall down. Now let's talk about me, m'kay? Okay, I guess... Okay! Let's go! Please don't push tha--
Latias (me!)[edit | edit source]
Me! I look like my brother but I'm kind of smaller and I'm red where he's blue and blue where he's red (on that triangle patch on my chest). I said it;s my chest but it's on his chest too but on him it's red. Speaking of my chest...do my breasts look too small to you? Umm...you don't have breasts... OMA OMA OMA! *GASP* O_O Something terrible must have happened to them! I don't think so...you're a dragon, aren't you? Dragons don't normally have breasts, do they...? Oh yeah! I forgot. That's fine then. Anyway, I'm in love with Ash! He's very very nice and I love him and now since people think he's dead, we live together and he needs to stay hidden until we get the death certificate revoked so he stays in my room! And we have fun. That's...nice. But this section is about you, not him; could I get you to tell us more about yourself? Oh! Oh yeah, I forgot. Sooo~oo anyway I can't get up to the same top speed as Brother but I'm even more agile because I'm smaller. My special attack is Mist Ball! It's where I make a ball of feathers around me and they cut up the bad people with justice and light! PURIFY! That's-that's very nice...but could you please power it down? I would prefer that the studio and I do not get shredded by razor-sharp feathers... O-kay! Also, I can go invisible or make myself look like someone else. Most of the time I look like Bianca. I can do this with my feathers, because they're like glass! That's also how I can slice stuff up with Mist Ball. Now I've talked enough about me, now let's talk about Ash!
Ashy-kins![edit | edit source]
(Phew, managed to make it a subcategory...) Latias, please don't do that again... Ashy-kins is my boyfriend! I love him so much ♥♥♥ ^_^ ♥♥♥ We first met in Alto Mare! I took him to the Secret Garden eventually to do fun stuff with him! At first he didn't like it but after a while he got into it. I took his hat after that as a souvenir! Later I gave it back though. He was dead for a while but really he was just unconscious and not really dead. They tried to have a funeral for him but he woke up in the middle! That was funny for a moment, but then some bad people shot him eighty-three times with guns and once with a rocket launcher and another guy peed on him. So after the funeral I dug his body back but this time he really was DEAD! ;_; ;_; ;_; And destroyed except his head ;_; ;_; ;_; But then I found two of the bad guys who shot him outside the police office. I followed them until there was nobody around and then...MIST BALL! But it was at a low enough power that they were still alive. So I used them to bring Ash back to life, and they're not alive any more.
I may regret this...but I have to ask. How exactly did you bring him back to life?
With this book!
Please tell me that's not the Necronomicon.
Sorry, can't do that. It's a really good read, but it gets kind of violent at some times. And. Stuff. And sometimes it tries to control your mind, but I'm too~oo strong for it. Or maybe too strange for it. I don't know. Anyway it fell into the secret garden and I was the only one there. It fell into the pool and I thought it would be ruined but it wasn't. Also don't read it out loud unless you know what you're doing or there will be zombies to eat you. But that's not a problem for me since I can't speak out loud mostly! I can think into the microphone though. Want me to read you some of it? How about not...Nope, I'm going to read it. SEIBMOZ SNOMMUS TXET SIHT See? Zombies!
Latias, please do not do that again. That was physically, mentally, and spiritually excruciating and now there are zombies attacking the studio.
It's okay, I can fix it! Look: YAWA OG SEIBMOZ SEKAM TXET SIHT See, now they're gone.
Thank goodness... what are you doing--
What does this button do?
That's the save pag
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