User:Syndrome/UnTweets:BrotatoSalad07

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Name: Brian Cogner
Location: College
Bio: College student. Likes stuff. Does stuff. Is stuff.

Following 274
Followers 197


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BrotatoSalad07

First class[edit | edit source]

Alarm goes off. No worries. I have another.

6:30am October 9th from txt

2nd alarm goes off. Push snooze. Don't have to be anywhere until 9:15 anyway.

7:00am October 9th from txt

Whoops. How many times did I hit snooze?

7:38am October 9th from txt

Seriously, get up! Going to be late for my appointment with my Spanish teacher!

7:49am October 9th from txt

Get online to look up some words in Spanish so I don't look like an idiot.

8:13am October 9th from web

Out the door, heading for the bus stop. Let's do this.

8:24am October 9th from txt

Cuntymints! The bus is pulling up and it doesn't see me!

8:26am October 9th from txt

On bus.

8:27am October 9th from txt

Some witty highbrow shouted "run, Forest, run" as I was running to the bus. Sounded like a megaphone.

8:28am October 9th from txt

Seriously. A megaphone? There should be a circle of Hell reserved for people like that.

8:30am October 9th from txt

This is what people without a shred of originality look like after I punch them. 8:40am October 9th from txt

Given the chance, I would have punched him in the face on my way to the bus. No doubt.

8:33am October 9th from txt

Hello, face. Meet fist. Why don't you get to know each other?

8:40am October 9th from txt

Room is locked. I'll sit outside the door and read a newspaper.

9:05am October 9th from txt

This newspaper sucks.

9:11am October 9th from txt

I do believe it's past 9:15. Is this the right room?

9:16am October 9th from txt

There he is. He unlocks the door for the rest of the class and takes me somewhere else.

9:26 October 9th from txt

Oh good, he wants to speak English. My Spanish sucks. That's the point.

9:27am October 9th from txt

Good. I think I moved him to sympathy. Might be less inclined to fail me now.

9:36am October 9th from txt

We're writing an essay on computers today. Probably should have done some research.

9:40am October 9th from web

Stomach growling. Did I forget breakfast?

10:10am October 9th from web

Focus. Write now. Food later.

10:11am October 9th from web

Looks good. No red squiggly lines except for my name. Outta here.

10:26am October 9th from web

Second class[edit | edit source]

Awwwww yeah. 10:45am October 9th from txt

Just get a slice of pizza for now. I'll get lunch after next class.

10:31am October 9th from txt

Very hot. Very delicious.

10:45am October 9th from txt

WTF? Pizza so hot that I burnt the skin off the roof of my mouth.

11:02am October 9th from txt

Didn't even know mouths had skin. Was sure they didn't.

11:04am October 9th from txt

Now I have dead skin hanging of my palate. It's like a second uvula.

11:16am October 9th from txt

Get newspaper to replace sucky one. This one has comics!

11:30am October 9th from txt

Math class starts. Should have probably done homework.

11:45am October 9th from txt

Prof.'s "n"s look like "4"s.

12:01pm October 9th from txt

"u"s look like "n"s.

12:20pm October 9th from txt

Class dismissed. Briefly discuss homework. Conclusion: It's hard.

12:32pm October 9th from txt

Third class[edit | edit source]

Not very hungry. Might not get lunch after all?

12:35pm October 9th from txt

Notice new voicemail. Didn't know I missed a call.

12:37pm October 9th from txt

It's her! Not on voicemail, at lunch!

12:38pm October 9th from txt

Check voicemail and pretend not to see her.

12:39pm October 9th from txt

Return call and still pretend not to notice.

12:40pm October 9th from txt

Sounds like my mom wants to take in a stray cat.

12:45pm October 9th from txt

Get in line, despite not being hungry.

12:46pm October 9th from txt

She went to the water fountain! Leaving line (not hungry) to intercept and say hi.

12:46pm October 9th from txt

She giggled nervously and went back to her seat. Seems she didn't want to talk.

12:47pm October 9th from txt

I don't think she likes me.

12:49pm October 9th from txt

Oh, if only... 12:55pm October 9th from txt

Is life worth living? Decide to give it benefit of doubt.

12:55pm October 9th from txt

Besides, no convenient place to hang myself from. Not that I checked.

12:56pm October 9th from txt

In computer lab doing a little Spanish. Should go back and get lunch.

1:00pm October 9th from web

Whoops! Lunch closes at 1:30. Need to start dicking about and wrap this up!

1:20pm October 9th from web

Got the last plate before they closed. Enormous amounts of food.

1:30pm October 9th from txt

I can't finish half of this. How embarassing.

1:40pm October 9th from txt

Better carry my plate far away so no one sees me throw away so much food.

1:45pm October 9th from txt

Last class of the day. Try not to doodle in my notes too much.

2:00pm October 9th from txt

This uvula is really bothering me. Wonder if I can pull it off without too much a fuss.

2:04pm October 9th from txt

Got it!

2:20pm October 9th from txt

Doodle free and going strong!

2:29pm October 9th from txt

It probably helps that I'm not taking notes.

2:31pm October 9th from txt

Prof.'s phone went off so class should end now.

2:45pm October 9th from txt

Still in the middle of a demonstration. This is going to take several more powerpoint slides.

2:47pm October 9th from txt

After Class[edit | edit source]

Like this except with the cutest smile ever. 2:51pm October 9th from txt

Free! Pondering where to go now.

2:48pm October 9th from txt

Go back home. Nothing more for me here.

2:49pm October 9th from txt

There she is again! She's just adorable.

2:51pm October 9th from txt

She's sitting with her back to me. Going to circle an adjacent building so she can see me approach.

2:52pm October 9th from txt

Is this normal? Is twice in one day too much? I'm not stalking, am I?

2:53pm October 9th from txt

She's gone.

2:54pm October 9th from txt

Oh no, there she is. Talking to someone. I chicken out.

2:55pm October 9th from txt

I hope that God is cruel and sadistic, because SOMEONE better be finding my constant failures funny.

2:56pm October 9th from txt

@Cakeman213: Thanks for the offer, but you laughing at me won't help.

2:58pm October 9th from txt

Going to try again. No excuses. No circling this time.

2:59pm October 9th from txt

FAIL.

3:01pm October 9th from txt

Bus pulls up as I walk to the stop. To carry me away from my defeat.

3:02pm October 9th from txt

When she saw me, she looked at her watch and packed thing up to leave for class.

3:03pm October 9th from txt

What did I do wrong? Why does she hate me?

3:06pm October 9th from txt

You know what? I don't care. Just don't care.

3:08pm October 9th from txt

Am I creepy? Does it seem like I'm stalking her?

3:11pm October 9th from txt

Rationalizing that I'm not a stalker.

3:13pm October 9th from txt

Reading the comics in my newspaper. Oh, Beetle Bailey, you're such a joker.

3:20pm October 9th from txt

There's an ant on my window. Hey, little dude.

3:25pm October 9th from txt

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

3:34pm October 9th from txt