User:RabbiTechno/TechnoShed/30dos/P11

30 Days of Shite - It will tear your soul apart!
Note: Playing 30 Days of Shite does not guarantee soul-tearing. The producers of the game cannot be held responsible if no spiritual and/or physical change is experienced by the player. Your statutory rights are affected.

You really want to go out there? You can still change your mind, dude. Honestly. Just click this link here and, by the magic of wiki code, you'll be whisked straight back to your cosy hotel bed, and nothing bad will happen to you. Up to you, man.
However, if you're not a complete wuss, you'll open the door and step out into the night to face...the Beast. If you're still reading, we'll assume that's what you want to do at this point.
The Beast is gone, but some ancient instinct tells you it has not gone far. It is lurking, hiding in the shadows, watching you. You can feel it with some long-forgotten sixth sense, something that has lain unused in the human mind since we stopped being the hunted.
Keeping the chainsaw idling, you walk into the street to the corpse. Just as you thought, it's the remains of a beautiful young woman - she looks like she was about 19 when she died. Her pale skin looks soft, her red lips are the type that any man would want to kiss. The beast has ripped her thin, silk dress right down the front, and you can't help but notice that the rest of her anatomy looks pretty damn good too. In fact, running your eyes over her soft, rounded mahoosive mawongerers and waaaaaaaa-heyHOTDANG!!!! you start getting a stiff willy.
It's not often that a glowing-eyed beast throwing itself at you from the shadows with fangs ready to rip your still-beating heart from your chest is a good thing, but in this particular instance it is. You were just getting a boner over a dead body, you sicko! Lucky the Beast chose now to attack, otherwise who knows what might have happened? Necrophilia is illegal even in Alaska, and believe me, they turn a blind eye to some funny old stuff up there. Did you notice how every Alaskan you've set eyes on so far had webbed fingers...?
Stop reading and do something, foo'! You're just about to get your head bitten off! The Beast is too quick, you can't get the chainsaw up in time to catch it in mid air. What the bloody hell do you do now?
P15 Run.
P16 Drop to the ground, roll and bring the chainsaw round ready to attack.
P17 Kick the Beast in the bollocks.