User:PericlesofAthens/Biggie Smalls

Biggie Smalls (1898 - 1997 AD), real name Thomas Malthus Buckingham Victor III, aka P.I.G. (Puking Is Great), was a skinny white Conservapedia editor and Gangster rapper from the town Averagewhitesuburb, Ohio, from the United States of America. He was renowned for his long, flowing, white Santa beard. Biggie lived an extraordinarily long life; many commented that his death in a Los Angeles water gun shoot out was a total shame, since he lived almost 100 years, but not quite (however, it was reported that some people, including Suge Knight and Rosie O'Donnel, spitefully laughed at his demise). He was sponsored by Bad Boy Records, but started his own record label known as Good Girl Records.

Biggie moved to Brooklyn, New York in 1958, when he was 60 years old. He hated their Brooklyn style Pizza, and so moved to Queens instead, where he made a name for himself in the rap game and the high class scene of the "dandy" art gallery crowd. When he was fired from his job as a drug dealer, he turned his life around by committing himself to rapping, rap lyrics, and the art of fly fishing.