User:Paizuri/Disgaea
 | This article is likely to be eaten by a grue. I suggest you protect yourself or stitch its mouth shut before it eats you too. |
“Holy Shit!! This game is too complex!! I need a physics teacher to help me out!!”
“I don't know why Takehito Harada make a big boob demons!?”
| Grand Theft Auto: Disgaea | |
|---|---|
 WTF~? | |
| Developer(s) | Rockstar, Nippon Echiiiii, Chuck Norris |
| Release date | 2016 |
| Genre | Sexual RPG |
| Platform(s) | PS3, NDS, Windows 95, PSP |
| Rating | M +17 (U.S.) +15 (Europe) |
Disgaea, is gifted game-child of Nippon Eccccccchi. It was released long time ago. Disgaea is much better than Phantom Brave, or any other Nippon Eccccccchi game. The plot of the game is extremely complex, and requires great understanding of quantum physics. The game features several secret characters, but the only one anyone really cares about is a character named Vegeta who appears to the Player and can be fought. If the Player elects to fight him, he is found to be Lv 9001 with 9001 attack, defence, intelligence, resistance, speed, jump, and counter points. If defeated, he joins the party and the Player gets an item called Scanner which makes the level of every other enemy in the game >9000. If he defeats the Player (which is an uncommon occurrence considering his weak stats) he screams "Its over Nine THOUSAAAAAND!", comes out of the TV screen, and kicks the Player in the balls.
Plot[edit | edit source]
This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Rosebud is a sled, Jigsaw was the corpse, Kristin Shepard shot J.R., you are Darth Bater with amnesia, Michael Newman wakes up in Bed, Bath and Beyond and discovers it was all a dream, Luigi's Mansion is an illusion, Charlie Brown never talks to that red-headed girl, Austin Powers and Dr. Evil are brothers, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!
Netherworld, the land of heavy metal, is in total chaos. The King Who-Has-Funny-Name has died, and all the demons of Netherworld are trying to became the next king of heavy. Laharl, the prince of heavy, has been sleeping for 666 years. The game starts when talking volcano, Etna, tries to kil... wake Laharl. Laharl is not happy with current situation, and vows to reclaim the throne of heavy. He started to level up, and he then killed some random punks.
At the same time in Celestia, the land of classical music, Flonne is kicked out, since she was too annoying. Flonne wandered around the universe, and put kittens on fire. Eventually she wanders to Netherworld. She tried to set Laharl on fire, but she failed. She managed to escape into Finland. Laharl followed her, while he pw0ned some local zombies and politicians. Eventually Flonne, being a idiot she was, ran into wall. Now it was a time for boss battle! Flonne summoned Michael Jackson, who sended onslaught of sexual harassment at Laharl and his slaves. Etna summoned army of lawyers, who then sued Jackson. Without her summons, the Flonne is easily defeated. Suddenly, Laharl fell love with her shoes. And this is how Flonne became Laharl's vassal, and how Laharl became vassal of Flonne's shoes.
The heavenly pianist, Vulcanus, wasn't happy with situation of the universe. Angels like classical, but he wanted to become the ruler of disco. But he had to defeat the seraph Lamington, who was at level 90. And he was just sad a noob, who was at level 80. He then damned the birds, and stole Flonne's zippo. Flonne went completely berserk, because she could not set things on fire without it, and she transformed into a space monster. She followed him with Laharl, who was now enslaved by her shoes. Vulcanus threw some guy with Flonne's zippo, for some funny reason. The zippo struck at the head of some weird guy called Mid-Boss. Mid-Boss didn't have a clue where the zippo game from. As a religious maniac, he came to conclusion that it was a gift from the god. Flonne went berserk when she saw him with her zippo. She kicked his ass, and threw him into river of lava. Laharl tried to be hero, and jumped after him. He didn't die, because he was the main character.
Everything was fine in Netherworld. But suddenly, the humans of Earth (the land of techno) launched full scale invasion with Abba and Death Star. They were pwned with help of Gordon Freeman, Jennifer Lopez, super robot Friday 13 and Mr T.
After the war, which lasted for two chapters, the gang decide to put on a concert. They wanted to combine all different kind of musics. But in order accomplish that, they had to take over the entire universe. They stole the Death Star and Abba, the most powerful WMDs in the entire universe. The universe fell in three chapters. However, they still had to take over the Celestia. But, while they were taking over the Universe, Vulcanus made a deal with Mithos Yggdrasill, the king of disco, and Mithos put his disco angel swordians in the random warping disco floor of Celestia, in a wasted effort to stop the gang. And they pwned some angles. (Afterward, Laharl finds out about the Disco King, and his place, Derris-Kharlan (the land of Disco), but has to go fight politicians to go there, because Laharl is the only demon who disagrees with the commie party). They fought against the Vulcanus, and won. Vulcanus ran away, crying like a little girl. Eventually, the gang arrived into Lamington's personal bedroom, where Vulcanus tried to kill them again. He transformed into a flower. Flonne easily burned it with her holy zippo. Laharl (almost) murdered Lamington, Etna stole all valuable items and Gordon died while playing with scissors.
Characters[edit | edit source]
Main Characters[edit | edit source]
- Laharl — Laharl is the son of King. His mother died by sacrificing her life to save him from a deadly sickness and because of that he sapposefully doesn't like love or any other feeling of such. He is poisened from his vassal, Etna under blackmail of Madarius. He fell asleep for 2 years and woke up hearing that his father the overlord has died. He then starts becomeing the overlord of the nether world.
- Etna — Etna is Laharl's vassal. She had her memory stolen by a demon known as Madarius (which he made her do thing that would help him to become overlord. She hires the Prinnies.
- Flonne — an angel-trainee sent to assassinate Laharl's farther. she is from celestra the land of angels. She thinks that there's love in everything, she eventully be come Laharl's vassal.
Other People[edit | edit source]
- [Prinny Squad]] — A small squad of penguins under the command of Etna explode when thrown.
- Mid-Boss — the first boss. he also was Vires aka the dark Adonis. he appears threw out the game mostly to complicate things.
- Hoggmeiser — Hoggmeiser use to be the butler of Laharl's father. He took all of Laharl's stuff when he was asleep for 2 years. and gotten money because of it.
- Maderas — The master ninja barber of the Netherworld. His reputation has reached every single corner of the universe. Yes, even Iceland. He hates Laharl, because Laharl wanted to keep his natural hair. This made Maderas very angry, because he is very proud of his skills. He tried to kill Laharl with scissors, but failed. He is now personal barber of Conan O'Brien.
- Gordon — "Look at the sky!; Is it a bird?; No! Is it a plane?; No! IT'S TEH SUPERMAN!!!". However, the Nippon Ichi could not afford him. So we just got this cheap Flash Gordon ripoff.
- Jennifer — Jennifer is the incarnation of Dr Frankenstein. She created super robot Friday 13, when she was drunk. Something happened between her and General Darth Carter, or maybe not. Nippon Ichi didn't bother to tell us more.
- Friday 13 — Friday 13 is super robot created by Jennifer, when she was drunk. He is fanatic fan of Hal 9000, and he plans to destroy humanity.
- Kurtis — Kurtis was happy and positive scientist, until evil terrorists broke his cookie can. It was gift from his mom! Kurtis went berserk and transformed himself into a incredible hulk. Aaaarrggg! Kurtis smasshh! Kurtis destroy! He hates Gordon, because he has hot chick as a sidekick. He dies in the end of the game, and is transformed into a green, nuclear powered, penguin.
- Seraph Lamington — Every japanese game needs character, whose gender is mystery. The Seraph Lamington is a man, who looks like woman. Or maybe he/she is woman, who looks like a man. But nobody cares, since he/she is an extremely boring person. Only notable thing is, that something happened between him/her and Flonne. He/She is also ruler of Celestia or something.
- Vulcanus — This sexy young man is master pianist of the Celestia. However, Vulcanus is just a level 80 noob, who wants to become the king of disco. He stole Flonne's zippo and damned the birds. His fighting style is very unique. He dodges enemy attacks with smooth moves of tango, and throws notes at the people. He can also transform himself into a flower. His ultimate move is called "Ego Crush".
- Big Sis. Prinny — She is the mother of the Laharl, who has come to kill us all, because Laharl hasn't brought flowers into her grave. Actually, no one didn't make grave for her. They just threw her into compost.
- Aramis — Aramis is magical dwarf girl, who is very manly. Aramis appears in quest, where you must find her lost kittens. There is something funny going between her and Etna. Some people say, that she is a boy. That's not true, no boy can't be that girly.
- Flanne — Flanne, one of the 5 fraternal twins that Flonne is part of, did not actually appear in this game, except for one stage when Flonne got sick. She spends time being a loli and attempting to seduce and marry an unnamable random player named Banarenth.
- Prism Rangers — AKA LSD Rangers. Prism Rangers are wandering hippies, who are always teaching how to make love. They also share LSD and other drugs. They will take into to rainbow world, if you let them. They were murdered by Flonne. The legend says, that Flonne drinks her coffee from their skulls.
- Napoleon Bonaparte — He doesn't appear in this game. I am just messing with you.
- Monsters — Monsters can be found from field maps. They will reborn after you leave from the field map. The monsters are infinite source of experience and money.
- Vassals — The vassals are evil terrorists in disguise, who are planning to blow up entire castle. But they aren't able to do that, since they are stuck in random locations. Now they just repeat the same sentence for forever, and throw people with useless items.
- Adell — The main character of the next game.
- Mao — The main character of the game after the next game. He is not chairman Mao.
Secret Bosses[edit | edit source]
- Mithos Yggdrasill — Mithos Yggdrasill appears in side quest, where you must take over the disco land, which is defended by it's disco king. You must defeat Mithos in dance constest. If you win him, you will gain game's best armor, the Infernal Spandex. Geting to him is a pain, because the Dark Assembly (Commie Party) doesn't want to let Laharl go to the land of disco (Derris-Kharlan) because they believe that disco is dead and anyone who would go to the land of disco would die and they're tired of having dead kings, because when ever a king dies, a religious fanatic shows up.
- Priere — Priere is the queen of rock'n roll. She has HUUUGEE breasts. She confuses her enemies with her HUUUGEE breasts, and then pokes their eyes with a stick. And she has HUUUGEE breasts. They are so huge that if this game followed the laws of the physics, they would be the new center of the universe.
- Marjoly... Marjory... or Marjo whatever — Or Marjoly is evil witch who lives in beauty castle. Her breasts are even bigger than Priere's. But they are fakes, since they swing like waterballoons. Or maybe they are real, and are trying to escape. She whacks people and throws some spells... or something. But who cares about combat, when you can watch antigravity boobs?
- Mr Lordi — Mr Lordi appears as a "Lordi of Terror" in this game. He is the most powerful secret boss. His strongest move is the "Hell Freezer".
- Michael Jackson — Michael Jackson is Mr Lordi's half brother but, Michael Jackson is the most secret boss whole game, he so hard to find they don't wan't kids finding him cause when you fight him there's extreme pornographic images of him raping Laharl.
 | Warning: The above text may have contained spoilers What? Oh shit! I should have told you earlier. My bad. |
Locations[edit | edit source]
Overlord's Castle[edit | edit source]
This castle is freaking huge. It has four rooms!
- Laharl's room: Here all interesting things happens. Hmmmm... I wonder why...
- Throne room: This place is unimportant.
- Some funny looking place: This place is more important than the throne room. There are two vassals here, and some talking spear, who is lurking in shadows. There is also a darkened room with a book, designed so that Etna can be emo in it.
- The only important room: You can find everything from here. Shops, government, hospital and dimensional gatekeeper, who always misses her target.
Dark Assembly[edit | edit source]
Even Netherworld has government. Luckily, all the demons are communists, so they will agree with everything. All hail the communism!
Disco Land[edit | edit source]
Disco Land is a very dangerous place. You will find cool and wacky Secret Boss such as Snoop Dogg, Saban Gipong and Alexander The Gay.
Things to Do[edit | edit source]
Because of the friggin billion things to do in this FRIGGIN AWESOME game, here's some fun things to do so you won't get bored killing Mid-boss all of the time. NOTE: So this can be fun, be at least level 200+. I know in real life there can only be until level 100 (see Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee), but who friggin cares!!! JUST KEEP KILLING! BWAWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! KILL KILL KILL!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA I'LL KILL EVEN YOUR MOM!!! BWAHAHAHAH!! WHAT!!! I'M NOT CRAZY!!!! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!! KILL!!!! ARGH!!!! LET ME GO!!! KILLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VIVA LA RAZA!!!!!!
Ahem... sorry, got sugar rush from all that twix... ummm... twix...
- Buy the sequel, Disgaea 2: Curse on Rozalin's Boobs.
- Buy the sequel, the sequel, Disgaea 3: Absence of Mao Zedong.
- Buy the spin-off, Prinny: Do you be my girlfriend?
- Buy the spin-off, Makai Kingdom with Chuck Norris.
- Buy the other Nippon Ecchi games, Braveheart with Ash Ketchup or known as Phantom Brave.
- Inspired Genghis Khan quest.
- Kill the final boss again and again!!!!
- Find the most secret bosses, The G-Man.
- Read Etna's diary so you can know how good she fucked with Laharl's dad, King Who-Has-Funny-Name.
- Make thousands of prinnies.
- Make all prinnies level 100+.
- Make all prinnies level 1000+.
- Make all prinnies level >9000.
- Throw ALL the prinnies mentioned above and generate a mushroom cloud.
- Make 1000 more prinnies.
- kill Micheal Jackson because he is gay and he should die anyway
- Fap on Laharl's mom.
- Rape Flonne or if you don't to you can kill her.
- Rape Etna because she is hot.
- Raep the prinnies.
- Raep Etna, Flonne, and the prinnies at the same time.
- Raep a Magic Knight. See those Boobs? I prefer Priere's real, larger boobs, but this is a good replacement, being tired of Etna and Flonne's flat chests...
- Kill Morgan Freeman, who believe he was a god.
- Kill Baal (Can you do it? I bet you can't... YOU CAN? pROVE IT! I BET $1000 ON IT!)
- Kill Baab (Baal's younger brother)
- Kill Bob (Baal and Baab's cousin)
- Try going to Item world's end (Can you? There's no end, actually... WHAT? THERE IS? YOU LIAR!!! THIS IS BLASPHEMY!!! THIS IS MADNESS!!!THIS IS SPARTA(TM)!!!)
- Kill more
- Kill more again.
- Hunt Baal, again.
- Kill Baab, again.
- Kill Bob, again.
- Kill Bill (Not the movie; It's Baal and Baab's Dad).
- Kill all Four at once.
- Go to Item world and fight Baal, Baab, Bob, and Bill in prinny form, all lvl 9999.
- Be satisfied, coz you're now DISGAEA SUPREME OVERLORD!!!!
- Transmigrate all characters so that they're level 1 and repeat all the above.
See Also[edit | edit source]
- Yggdra Union: We Will Fight Alone Against An Insidious Enemy, An Enemy Who Would Destroy The Commonwealth!
- Phantom Brave
- Age of Umpires
- Santa Claus
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