User:One-eyed Jack/Blog

Fat Bloggin' Bastard

August 6, 2007

Well hot damn, campers, here it is August already. Your Faithful Despondent put his canoe in the North Santiam River yesterday and it got all wet. But although rapids were run and rocks were hit both canoe and Your Faithful survived with only minor scratches.

I know you are greatly relieved.

Speaking of which, did you know that mosquito season is winding down in the Oregon cascades? Yes, you can just about take your shirt off without losing 3 pints of blood before you can put it back on. The only mosquitoes still lurking in the alpine fens are the slow and weak runts of the season, easily caught and easily killed.

And just in time for your next backpacking trip the NurtureGrain company has come out with new sweat-flavored power bars. Packed with bacterial goodness and that special tangy goodness that comes only from concentrated body odor, the new bars contain 300% of your daily requirement of live skin fungus. Eat hearty!