User:Nikau/Thomas Jefferson 2
Get off the new guy you spammer.
How is my little subject feeling? :-) I think you'd feel a lot better if you joined my trading stream so you can access all my naughty exports. All that cotton for those boatloads of tea, I do get a bit crazy lol.
Birthday April 13th, 1743? Doesn't that make you an Aries? Are we going to lock horns or get horny rofl? I know that isn't in your public profile, but I have my ways.
Feel free to send me anything, requests or even just some tobacco leaves. I don't mind, so long as you send it. Which you have to. Because I care for you. Not like that whore, France.
xxx for my BF.
Thank you for your mail good Sir.
Freedom of speech and the press, you are quite the joker Mr. Jefferson. Truly brightens the day of a grieving widower, and one suffering from an acute case of bonnet no less!
So, you ask, what do I want from a man?
I don't want a man who is laid back. Isn't that just code for setting your bar so low that small children regularly fall down it and are never seen again? He should be driven enough to hold seats of high office in both Virginia and Federally. Twice.
Nor do I want a man who describes himself as open minded, that is just mistaking desperation for a philosophy. Why not end all our conversations with I agree with everything you naked?
He should stick to his principles. If he is skeptical about religion, he should skeptical the hell out of religion. If he is opposed to the Alien and Sedition Acts, well he should put on his suit and get fighting that Alien.
There is nothing more attractive than a man who can secretly establish the basis of state's rights. The intrigue! I mean, what does your average man at the club have to hide? Gonorrhea?
To know that 60 years later someone will be fighting a war over the ideas you established in the Kentucky Resolutions. And you just keep on gardening in your mountain top property? I now know why all those short little orange guys need weights. They need something to weigh them down when they jump in a lake with utter shame.
Oh, and he must love pets. And darker pets.
That sounds utterly ridiculous enough, doesn't it? ;)
Is it a bad thing that I deleted 5 people in Boston while trying to post this? I mean I warned those Bostonians it wasn't a good time of the month, I'm liable to shoot off at anything lol.
Don't worry. Your're still all mine though :-) xxx
Thomas, you will probably end up inventing a whole new form of architecture before you finish that Monticello. If you like I could come over for tea one night with my Allen key.
Um, about that tea. How would you feel about, say, paying an extortionate tax for leaves that aren't the quality we tell you they are? Just floating this out there.
It's all for a good cause, you know. My friend the British East India Company is terminally ill. You don't like terminal illness do you? Are you the kind of man that would let a struggling company succumb to a fate it doesn't deserve? Think of it like a charitable dinner you have to attend for my sake.
You do still love me, right, boyfriend? xxxOn second thoughts, bring the instruction booklet to the Continental Congress.
Did I tell you about the Writs of assistance that give me the right to search all your property for vague evidence that you are cheating on me with foreign traders? I guess I forget things when I am in ETERNAL LUV.
Yeah, that means my friends can search you if ask them, as well. But I know you would never cheat on me sugar. because our relationship is FOREVER. You are MINE xxxxxXXXXxxXxXxxxxxoOOXxxxo *hugs*
Oh how can you support such babyish activity.
Your mates pretended to be Indians, exposed themselves and committed petty property damage. I mean, when is the burial for their livers? You can bet this is the last lads night out while I'm here, and no more football unless you can invent your own league to play by yourself, alone. I wrote some ground rules. xxxXXxxxXxXXxxxoOOooOo
Oh, and Massachusetts, if you're reading, I threw out all those filthy Government files you kept under the bed. I'm the only government you need, baby. EVER.
You cold hearted bastard, how could you break up with me via text? One minute I’m there delivering you tea, and the next minute I get this whole Declaration of Independence thing with a bunch of your mates names at the bottom.
Skimming it right now. lol whatever you were endowed with by your Creator wasn't worth mentioning really, Tommy.
I'll show you unwarrantable jurisdiction, you unwarrantable jurisdickface.
...He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance... And what the hell is this meant to mean? I swear it was never like that with your cousins in Canada. They were just teaching me yoga moves they learnt at ice hockey practice. With a polar bear.
I seem to have left my redcoat in your Boston. Ooooooooooops. Sorry.
THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO ATTAIN FREEDOM
MY FISTS.
I'm going to rip you a New York.
1800[edit | edit source]
Oh no you didn't.
I, Napoléon Bonaparte, sole Emperor of all the places that have taken a brief pause in mocking the French way of life, am offering you, Mr. PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, an offer to take part in a business offer of considerable offering.
Our nation has been beset by awful and affreux war without end. First the top rather come off all our business ventures. While I would gladly welcome everyone being a foot or so shorter, leaving the nation's finances in the hands of leprous Jean was an altogether poor idea. Mostly because he has no hands.
Grande Armée my dearest father told myself of a Colony in the Americas that contained over a million (1,000,000,000) units of red human cargo. I, sadly, have limited knowledge of the merchant class, having spent the majority of my youth posing in free-standing wigs, and the minority posing in slightly larger wigs.
One trusts that you will enjoy your Louisiana like a don't buy regular laxatives avoid your waterlooSounds like a good deal to me.
| “ | It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are 20 gods, or no God. | ” |
Been chugging that French wine again, Tom?
| “ | To the corruptions of Christianity I am indeed opposed; but not to the genuine precepts of Jesus himself. | ” |
glug glug glug, type type type. You're a funny guy. A funny guy.
| “ | Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because if there be one he must approve of the homage of reason more than that of blindfolded fear. | ” |
THAT IS A LIE. STOP GETTING YOUR LIES ALL OVER ME. NOW THE PLACE SMELLS LIKE LIAR. THANKS FOR THE LIE PERFUME CHANEL NUMBER LIE.
| “ | Conquest is not in our principles. It is inconsistent with our government. | ” |
| “ | Educate and inform the whole mass of the people... They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty. | ” |
