User:Multiliteralist/column is butt poop really such a horrible danger

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Deport them over there!

Lately, the ignorant masses have become increasingly worried over butt poop - especially when it tends to roll down the stairs onto yucky doody. This phenomenon is best in evidence right here at the foremost news service, UnNews. If I were you, I would be shocked - not because of butt poop but because of the amount of ignorance on blatant display!

Who are these people who have taken it upon themselvers to disparage butt poop? I can tell you. They are propagandists of the most deranged sort. Their insolence knows no bounds. They parade their anti-poop agenda all over our proud site as if they were the only ones with enough sense not to step into it! I, for one, have had enough.

These anti-poop terrorists should be made to realize their error. They should be re-educated as soon as possible or, failing that, they should be deported. There are other news services that actually go for anti-poopism and what could best be called poohysteria; there are many sites that accept only editors with proper toilet training. Let us make a clear break with these renegades before it's too late.