User:Mhaille/JRPPSU

You're bad, bad people.

Johnny Raven is not an administrator, and never will be, so your presence on this list will probably not get affect your chances of advancing in the Uncyclopedia hierarchy.

The question of whether or not you are actually an enema, however, remains "up in the air." (You might want to check whether or not there's a hollow tube sticking out of you somewhere, and whether or not that tube is currently stuck in Johnny Raven's arse.)

EvilZak (5.18.1974)

The only user who has ever challenged Raven for the "Least Funny Uncyclopedian of the Miillenium" award, EvilZak's frighteningly obsessive commitment to maintaining the "humour quality" of the site makes him a constant thorn in the side of any user who desires to improve Uncyclopedia by transforming it into what it should be - namely, a giant chatroom where nothing ever gets completely deleted.

Schnuggle Bear! (ret.?) (4.7.1981)

Always "helping," "improving," and "contributing," Schnuggle Bear! cannot (could not?) seem to restrain himself (or herself?) from butting in and interfering at the worst possible times. Bear's retirement shortly after the failure of Bears vs. Unicorns Conflict to win on VFH or VFD was a sure sign that Uncyclopedia is headed in the right direction.

Flammable (1.6.2006)

As perhaps the only Uncyclopedia admin capable of understanding the larger issues of any situation, or of thinking beyond the next 5 to 10 minutes, Flammable represents a danger not only to himself, but others as well. Must be watched like a hawk.

Spooner (9.11.2001)

Since he's clearly an evil atheist, Spooner cannot possibly exist in God's reality, and must therefore be an Artifical Intelligence construct designed to destroy the internet. (Not necessarily a bad thing, of course.) Moreover, as the author of Reasons to be an atheist/The funny version, Spooner beat Raven to the punch just one too many times, causing him extreme psychological duress. Luckily for him, Reasons to be an atheist/The Dead Serious Scrolls Version has yet to be huffed by an admin, as of 1/7/06 at least.

Isra1337 (12.25.1000)

Far too intelligent, erudite, and sophisticated for Uncyclopedia, or any other wiki for that matter. When he is made an admin (which will probably take place by the time you read this), he will undoubtedly terrorize, berate, and insult virtually everyone he comes in contact with by filling their discussion pages with "wise," "well-thought-out," and "rational" commentary meant to destroy all human life as we know it. Scary.

PrettiestPretty (10.10.1910)

Clever, devious, and manipulative, PrettiestPretty seems to have only one purpose as an Uncyclopedian: To fill the site with articles about highly litigious public figures which, due to their ridiculously high humour-content levels, are almost certain to get the site taken down and deleted from WikiCities in response to brutal serial lawsuits. Shame on you, PrettiestPretty.

Todd Lyons (5.6.1978)

Lyons has never once deleted, seriously criticized, or significantly edited even one of Raven's articles, has never responded to him in a discussion forum, and has never banned him. This lack of attentiveness to Raven's personal need for self-aggrandizement shows a clear lack of respect for Raven's monumental genius, and therefore makes him a prime candidate for future attack.

Tompkins (11.6.1983)

Despite never having had any interaction with him whatsoever, Tompkins was once a friend of Johnny Raven until he (Raven) figured out that he (Tompkins) was crazy. This was discovered when, with no warning at all, Tompkins called upon Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick Johnny Raven in the face! It was a short, blunt kick, lacking enough power to sever Johnny Raven's head. Raven, tired of life and horribly disappointed in not having been put out of everyone else's misery, decided Tompkins had earned a spot on this list, despite his not having even tried to do the job himself. The fact that Tompkins added himself to the list (so there wasn't really any need for a middle-man) was just "gravy," and an added convenience while Raven was in surgery having his head (unsuccessfully) reattached.

Johnny Raven is not an administrator, and never will be, so your presence on this list will probably not get you very far in the Uncyclopedia hierarchy.

Famine/Nerd42/Yuewolf (11.6.1929)

By far the most clever and intelligently-designed sock puppet duo of all time, Famine is an American Uncyclopedia admin who, in a moment of ultimate brilliance, conceived of a revolutionary idea to distract other users, and even other admins, in order to "keep them in line" and prevent unwanted chaos and disorder among Uncyclopedia users. His incrediblly life-like sock puppet creation, "Nerd42," quickly became the ultimate "Straw Man" account, whose incomprehensible behavior, total lack of humour, astounding lack of writing ability, extreme religious and political "beliefs," and bizarre, self-contradictory responses to discussion points effectively increased the frustration levels of anyone in opposition to Famine's Vision for Uncyclopedia to near-stroke-inducing levels. Famine's recent addition of "Yuewolf" to the family as a sock puppet of Nerd42 only increases Raven's appreciation for Famine's incredible abilities as an admin and wiki strategist in general. As a result, Uncyclopedia has now become the tightest ship in the Wikifleet, with years of smooth sailing ahead!

Dawg/Katie Loves You! (3.7.1948)

Another amazingly-realized sock puppet duo, the person controlling these two user accounts is remarkably adept at accurately judging the quality of articles simply by reading the title and glancing at the first illustration, often needing as little as two seconds. This talent is carried over into discussions with other users, during which he/she consistently manages to ascertain the true meaning of another user's response without actually having to read the words contained in it. As a result, both of these accounts have been promoted to "admin" status, an authority he/she uses tirelessly to "ban," and delete content by, anyone who should break the well-established rule of Uncyclopedia that punishes anyone who might cause Dawg/Keitei to perceive some vague form of slight disrespect. Also responsible for several of Uncyclopedia's most enlightened policies, such as the "Helpfully Repetitive Practical Jokes on Non-IRC-Using Contributors" rule, the "Disallowed Comments on VFH/VFD to Discourage Criticism of the Helpfully Repetitive Practical Jokes on Non-IRC-Using Contributors Rule" rule, and the "Never Check Sources" rule, all of which have improved overall administrative efficiency by as much as 1.6 percent.

Naughtyned (6.6.1966)

Uncyclopedia's tireless advocate for necrophiliac rights. Some Uncyclopedians simply don't realize that necrophiliacs are people too - people who have feelings and needs. Luckily, Naughtyned is here to remind us, whenever we need reminding.

Some user (1.1.1901)

One of the most talented and erudite writers Uncyclopedia has ever seen, "Some user" (his very name showing his tremendous modesty) is humble, reverent, and respectful, keenly aware of problems that might affect other users (even ones he has never been involved in disucssions with), and endlessly willing to take hours out of his busy schedule as an unlicensed psychiatrist to write useful "self-help" articles, not only explaining the various mental/emotional problems that might be experienced by his fellow Uncyclopedians (especially those who read his articles), but also educating and encouraging other users in the use of sock puppets and flame-war strategies - all in a tireless effort to make Uncyclopedia a much better place.

Bradaphraser (2.4.2000)

Always ready with a highly-constructive comment regarding any situation, Bradphraser's incisive, helpful insights never fail to provide useful new perspectives on disagreements between other users - all without the negative "baggage" of needless background research.