User:Mhaille/"Administrative Error" leads to full scale invasion of Tie Rack

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Suspected Tie Racki Terrorist wearing a paisley necktie with half-Windsor knot. The Public are advised NOT to approach this individual, and should consider him armed and dangerous.

9 October 2007

Washington, DC: An unfortunate administrative error was reported to be behind the recent invasion of Tie Rack, US Secretary of Defense Robert Gates revealed today. The military action follows on from the President's comments that Tie Rack was responsible for the recent killing of notable political leader and Nobel Peace Prize winner Nelson Mandela.

The British-based necktie retailer are said to be both shocked and awed at the ferocity of the sudden attack after their Oxford Street store was "bombed back to the stoneage." The precision bombing, co-ordinated to take place at the same time as similar attacks at the organisation's countless stores in airports worldwide, also devastated a mile wide area of Central London, described by Washington as "unfortunate collateral damage".

Fashion Police

Washington fears that the offensive could destabilise the entire fashion accessories industry, with the Commander-in-Chief calling on security measures to "ensure those Tie Rackis don't get into OUR Airports again."

Earlier this year, Mr Bush has reportedly linked the Tie Rack leaders with other terrorist organisations, including the eco-warrior group, The Body Shop, formally controlled by the late Anita "Mad Dog" Roddick. The group have been long thought behind a number of attrocities such as the promotion of Peppermint Foot Lotion.

Reports linking the attack to Halliburton's "Ties with Dick Cheney" outlets have been strenuously denied.