User:Loathing/Sexual Abstinence
It is notorious that I, as a writer, have focused and indeed penetrated in the world of pre-adults, angst-ridden adolescents, and the like. They are, no doubt, excellent material and a great source of inspiration, especially in the way of character construction. I, however, have never found truly young literature, that is to say, literature written by youngsters, much to my dismay. Recently, I decided to rifle through some more unusual venues, and, being a great supporter of oral tradition, found a tape with great potential. It is the recording of a psychyatric session of a virile young man, dealing with key aspects of young adulthood, which i found unprecedently literary in its overtones.
Much has been said about sexual abstinence and its effects on the teenage psyche. It seems to me this tape is a quite interesting insight into the mind of the average
moron youngster that choses to trail such a noble and self-sacrificing path. However, since most of these idiots teenagers have already, and indeed quite literally, self-sacrificed, I find myself unable to back this testimony with any other, as to provide a comprehensive report of this phenomenon. So, adding a few modifications of my own (taking, of course, some poetic license in the interest of coherency) decided to publish it as a newspaper column, for ease of use. It is far too short for anything else.
I acquired it through the usual channels. This quite frantic confession surely promises to ring bells all throughout the world of both literate and common men alike, revealing once again that we if we chose to pay no heed to the silent cries of those of young age, we do it at our own peril.
so, to the Testimony of D.M.T.
D.M.T., 18 years old – Third Session, Attending Doctor, G.H. Benway, MD, PCP, LSD. Verbatim Transcript (more or less)
So Doc, something new happened last week. This girl I know, beautiful fucking tits, eyes like emeralds, all that shit, she comes up to me and says “I don’t love you anymore”. What the fuck was that about ? I mean, I never knew she loved me. If I did, I sure as hell wouldn’t be feeling my scrotum violently expanding from all the built-up pressure. And doc, I know it’s gonna explode. I just know it. I mean, if I was going to go and fuck somebody right now, I’d have such a massive, horrifying, gargantuan eruption of semen that’d blow a hole in the poor woman’s womb the size of a bowling ball. But I can’t complain, right ? People have told me over and over again that having no sex at all is a terrible, stupid idea to which I submitted willingly because I have shit for brains. But that ain’t the truth. It was because I was tired of running around saying ‘hey babe, what about you talking a walk on my wild side ?’ and then the fucking cunt turns out to be some BDSM freak and tries to whip my balls with a rolled-up sheet of music. Mozart, I think. Good taste there, but still a freak. So, I thought to myself, ‘abstinence is the way’, and all those ads against teenage sex, I mean, the people in there were smiling, right ? So it had to be good. (Doctor’s note: The patient’s hands have started trembling at this point).
Ahem. Well. So I gave up sex. And this girl, the lovely one, makes me alive again. The last time I felt that, it was with an icepick, doc, and forty-seven nude pictures of Trotsky. But, as it turns out, she was just jerking me around. My cock complained mightily, you know. And even worse, I felt guilty. For thinking about it. I thought giving up sex would quell my inner urges, but it didn’t. You can probably spot that in my pants already. Am I making you nervous, doc ? I wouldn’t want to make you nervous. Well, what I meant was, I felt like I was thirteen again, hormones sweating from every pore like kerosene pours out of the sky when God’s angry and decides to take a piss on mankind. You know ? Sometimes He gets really angry; Fight the good fight, light the good light. My eyebrows are still singed, and when I wake up in the middle of the night thinking to myself ‘Why are there sheets covering my legs ? Are they some kind of eldritch, cyclopean bandages ? Have I been reading too much H.P. Lovecraft as a substitute for my phallic obsession, and am using these bizarre adjectives ? I mean, he’s got lots of Tentacles, right ?’ I can still smell the burning flesh. Because God pissed kerosene on me and lit the match, you see. Heaven is a grim prospect. But why am I talking about burning flesh ? I mean, my dick’s not burned, how could he be, it’s had no friction in over a year, right ? Right, doc ? (Doctor’s note: The patient is sweating profusely, his eyes roaming wild around the room, and I had to bring him back to the point in question with an ancient and approved psychoanalytical technique)
Oh, yeah, sorry. Guess I digressed a little back there. So anyway, the girl. She fucked me over big time. And then my painfully long erection dwindled away, disappointed so much with my own stupidity and wracked with guilt. I mean, it’d gone far up and inside my body, you know ? You wanna see ? No ? That’s just as well, anyway. It’s quite hard now. Uh…because…Oh, yeah ! When I thought of those eyes again, hers, I mean, not mine or yours, and out my penis came, a fucking hungry snake looking for its prey, one-eyed, drooling, in full flight, predatory instinct taking control of all basic functions. And really thoroughly wanna fuck her bloody brains out. Or any brains out. I mean, what can I do, doc ? I’ve got a bad habit, and it ain’t going away. I guess I’m saying all this to you because it kinda quietens me down. Maybe that’s truly the human condition: Either you put your anus where your mouth is, that is to say, you talk a lot of shit, or your cock bursts. Maybe it’s different for women, they get inflammable uterus or something. But I’m pretty sure they are as fucked up as the rest of us. Not me, though. I’m just in pain. From the hard-on. (Doctor’s note: Fuck fuck fuck someone get me out of here)
But what’s the point in you asking me all this crap, anyway ? Everybody knows that sexual abstinence has no ill-effects on mental health, doc. It’s just that my polish sausage really hurts from this prolonged erection, you know. So, could you score me some Valium, man ? Or maybe…you know, if you’re in the mood…some Viagra…? (at this point the good doctor fled the room in panic, and some sort of thumping, fleshy noives can be heard in the background noise)
...and In Conclusion,
I think that with careful ponderation, we can surmise something about the state of mind of this so-called 'tormented teenager'. The few corrections and additions I have made on this work are not, I promise you, damaging to its integrity as a very real portrait of our age. I made them only to reach as much people as I could, for few people care for scientific studies, and such a raw description of a young soul should be read, digested, devoured, by as many people as it can reach. I can only hope that, in sharing this information, the medical community and society as a whole will take appropriate action.