User:Kuukai2/Noah Webster

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That guy can't spell to save his life. It's N-U-C-U-L-A-R.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Noah Webster
Noah Webster, with his trademark moustache and aluminium teeth

Noah Webster was a learnt, skilful scholar, criticised by some but honoured by many for his defence of the ageing Olde British spelling system. He forecasted that if we strived towards the newer spellings that some Americans dreamt of, there would be endless quarrelling, resulting in draught after draught of word catalogues, which would be impossible to memorise. He manoeuvred the language back to its colourful tradition, and silenced the arguement of his opposition.

Early Life[edit | edit source]

Noah was borne to a pappa who was all mouth and trousers, and a mum who was plumb in the middle of Carey Street. Since he first started reading signs he passed in the pram, spelling was Noah's speciality. Helen Keller, his mum, was a great influence on him as well. At age ten, he took his first aeroplane to the national spelling bee in Houston, Texas, which he won, successfully spelling the word AAAAAAAAA! He told journalists at the event that he wanted one day to be wedded to Whitney Houston, the namesake of the city. This titbit of candour was rewarded, and Noah became a childhood superstar.

Latter Life[edit | edit source]

Later in life, lisenced doctors diagnosed Noah with dyslexia. As his symtopms bgaen ot wrosen eh becmae ulbane ot fnucoitn wtouhit lrgae qeititnaus fo mronihpe.

Uexyatodypy[edit | edit source]

Atos tally falla mokkom aba ny Pia Edka 1,1,00 bing ytmnd.