User:Kristopolous
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Kristopolous Konstantinople is a proud School of the America's Alumni with a summer home in the Bohemian Grove. A card carrying member of the New World Order and the Illuminati, he'll snide you with sadistic guffahs of laughter if you suggest they exist anywhere but in your imagination.
He
- Was the gaffer for the moon landing hoax taping
- Picked Lee Harvey Oswald's name out of a phone book to set him up during the JFK assassination
- Gave the homily at Paul McCartney's funeral
- Cut the ribbon at the first weather tower in Gakona, Alaska
- Controlled the drones that flew into the World Trade Center
- Incinerated the Alien bodies from Roswell
- Unilaterally determines the quantity of mind control chemicals to contaminate the drinking water
- Responded to an honorary membership invitation to the Skull and Bones Society with a vile of anthrax wrapped in laughter
- Personally authors all crop circle designs in Adobe Illustrator
- Enjoy's going to JoAnn's fabric store on the weekend to make bigfoot costumes to scare tourists.
Whenever anyone vaguely implies a non specific "they" or "the government" they really mean "him" - just Kristopolous - it's all the same guy. He did everything, sleeps well at night and awakens each morning with a skip in his step and a gleem in his eye knowing that he can manipulate the world with a glance and control it with a twitch.
Things to keep in mind around KK. He most certainly,
- Will deny your friendship request on myspace
- Will convert your vehicle to a flying car for a single trip as long as you stay in it
- Will come to your funeral with a stethescope and pistol to check your pulse and take necessary action
Quotes:
"Oral Roberts most certainly deserves his name. Second only to Deep Throat and J Edgar Hoover - who sucked like a Vax - nothing sucks like a Vax."
"The only thing that keeps me from becoming the next Bill Gates is two plastic surgeries and a few bullets - i.e., a weekend."
"The only thing that keeps me from the Olson twins is the Superior Court of California and 18 months."