User:Kippy/postFergie

Manhattan, New York -- Many Thanksgivings ago, a still starry eyed Barack Obama used his new powers of the presidency to proclaim an official pardon to singer Fergie. This was at a time when annoying pop singers were literally being sent to the slaughterhouse and grounded up into meat, and Obama was taking it upon himself to try to reverse this dystopian sci-fi movie trend into which that America had devolved. Unfortunately, all that good will that Obama intended to send out to the world was crushed with the election of Donald Trump, who himself would eventually reverse the Fergie pardon after one embarrassing national anthem performance.

As if just to show us just how far America has been pulled back down into the depraved depths of barbarism, viewers of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade were exposed to the Black Eyed Peas performing without Fergie.

Sources

• Jose Bastidas "Black Eyed Peas Fans Wonder Where Fergie Is in Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Performance" PopCulture.com, November 28, 2019

• Sam Silverman "'Fergalicious' Forever! See Why Fergie Left The Black Eyed Peas" In Touch Weekly, November 28, 2019