User:Kippy/Andrew Jackson
Andrew Jackson was the seventh President of the United States, with the historical distinction of being ranked both one of the greatest presidents as well as the absolute worst president simultaneously. Called the first president of the people, he worked vigorously to uphold this common man image by fighting all forms of aristocracy, from vetoing the evil national bank to ridding the South of the great Cherokee menace.
Due to the influence of his actions and political philosophy, known as Jacksonian Democracy, Andrew Jackson is often called the father of everything fucked up about American politics.
Early life[edit | edit source]
Andrew Jackson was born on March 15, 1767, near the border of North and South Carolina, though the exact state is a mystery. Jackson himself claimed to have been born in the log cabin within South Carolina, although many of his opponents speculated he only made this claim to seem more "folksy". This minor controversary lead to several leaders of the Whig Party to press lawsuits against President Jackson, demanding he release an official long-form birth certificate.
Military years[edit | edit source]
What worked for Napoleon would work for Andrew Jackson.
Early political career and presidential bids[edit | edit source]
His exceptional talent in mud-slinging earned him the nickname "Old Dickery".
Presidency[edit | edit source]
Features of Jacksonian Democracy included:
- A fuck-that-shit interpretation of the Constitution.
War with the National Bank[edit | edit source]
Manifest Dynasty[edit | edit source]
Trail of Tears[edit | edit source]
“Quit your whining.”
"Enough is enough," Jackson stated. "I've had it will these MOTHERFUCKING INJUNS in this MOTHERFUCKING SOUTHEAST!"
elimination of Indians matched only by the small pox virus.
malking the South what it is today.
Death and Legacy[edit | edit source]
“Oh, do not cry. Be good children, and we shall all meet in Heaven... I want to meet you all, white and black, in Heaven.”
