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About[edit | edit source]

Here in the Uncyclopedia Stock Exchange (otherwise knwon as USX), we sell and buy shares. We are a stock market. No-commissions trading day every Tuesday. Shares updated every Saturday.

Each share costs the same as the share listed (for example, a share of XXX Corp. costs $30, but in thye next week it costs $21) plus a commission fee of $8. Shares can go either up or down, so if you lost all of the money, you're fucked.

Stock Exchange (USX Index)[edit | edit source]

Companies[edit | edit source]

SPSD- Space Pirates Software Development ( Up at 87.33 by 70.83 from 16.50)
CBK- Central Bank ( Steady at 41.23)
SCLS- Squeaky Clean Laundering Service ( Down at 20.00 by 2.19 from 22.19)
GTTS- Goa Tse Temple and Store ( Steady at 23.12)

Exchange Rates[edit | edit source]

Wildes to UNSOC Valjuta ( Down at 0.0065 - 1 Valjuta = 50 Wildes)
Wildes to Yoinxx (( Down at 9.2532322 - 1 Yoinxx = 1500 Wildes)
Wildes to U.S. Dollar ( Steady at 0.03425489666215 - 1 US Dollar = 10,000 Wildes)
Wildes to Credits ( Up at 1893.1415926535898 - 1 Credit = 100 Wildes)

Listing requirements[edit | edit source]

To hvae a business in this stock exchange:

Your business must have an owner that earns more than $40 (☺$400,000/400 Valjuta)
Your business must have a bank account

Listing Requests[edit | edit source]

Get your company listed in the stock exchange now! Shares change every Saturday!

Goa Tse Temple and Store[edit | edit source]

GOA TSE TEMPLE AND STORE Because There Is No Goa Tse

About[edit | edit source]

The Goa Tse Temple was built by two members of the Goa Tse Clan in 1337 AD. In 1484 AD, the Goa Tse Store was open, where the Goa Tse Clan sell some supplies and food to passers-by, locals and tourists. To request an order, ask at the talk page. The Goa Tse Temple is also a stock exchange. Here is where to go if you want to buy shares. To buy something, ask for it on the talk page and it will eventually be delivered. If you want a job, request it on the talk page. After you buy something, you can just put it on your userpage for something to eat for admins and whatnot. The Goa Tse Temple and Store is founded, operated and funded by the Great Temple of Goa Tse in Q'ake Tu, Giratinaton, with this investment. Here is our bank account from the Central Bank of Uncyclopedia.

Members of the Goa Tse Clan or similar usergroup can receive a 50% discount on purchases. Members of Der Unwehr can receive a 10% discount on purchases.

Employees[edit | edit source]

Shares are updated every Saturday. Supplies and food are restocked every two weeks.

Joe9320 (Owner) Weekly Salary $90 (that's ☺$900,000)

WE SELL EVERYTHING AT RIDICULOUSLY LOW PRICES LIKE WAL-MART!

STOCK[edit | edit source]

(PLEASE NOTE: Prices are quoted in Wildes and U.S. dollars. Sorry, Valjuta cannot be accepted.)
Snacks

Snickers Bar: $0.40 (☺$4,000)
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: $0.20 (☺$2,000)
Mentos: $0.60 (☺$6,000)
Skittles: $0.50 (☺$5,000)
Pay Day Bar: $0.90 (☺$9,000)
Mystery Doughnut: $0.80 (☺$8,000)
Doritos BBQ Cheddar Chips: $1.50 (☺$15,000)
Twinkie pack: $1 (☺$10,000)
Three Musketeers: $0.90 (☺$9,000)
Starburst: $0.90 (☺$9,000)
Pudding: $4 (☺$40,000)
5 Gum (any flavour): $0.25 (☺$2,500)

Fruits, Vegetables and Meat

Apple: $1 per kilogram (that's about $0.10 each) (☺$10,500 per kilogram)
Orange: $1 per kilogram (that's about $0.20 each) (☺$10,000 per kilogram)
Banana: $1 per kilogram (that's $0.15 per banana) (☺$10,000 per kilogram)
Pineapple: $1 per kilogram (that's $0.20 each) (☺$10,000 per kilogram)

Microwavable Food and Fuck Goods

Hot Pockets (in packets of 2): $4 (☺$40,000)
Famine Stamps (in packets of 10): $3 (☺$30,000)
Cigars (32 pack): $20 (☺$200,000)
Tsar Bomba Natural Male Enhancement: $11 (☺$110,000)

Clothes and Books

Underpants (3 pack): $4 (☺$40,000)
Book of Adventures II: $12.50 (☺$125,000)
On the Evolution of Species: $10 (☺$100,000)

Video Games and Appliances

PS3: $75 (☺$750,000)
Xbox360 Elite: $75 (☺$750,000)
Nintendo Entertainment System: $65 (☺$650,000)
Bootlegged copy of The Legend of Zelda for NES: $30 (☺$300,000)
Bootlegged copy of Sonic the Hedgehog for NES: $35 (☺$350,000)
Sonic Riders (15th Anniversary Edition) for Playstation 2: $40 (☺$400,000)
Pokémon Platinum Version: $20 (☺$200,000)
Vii: $100 (☺$1,000,000)
Communist 64: $220 (☺$2,200,000)
Apple iPhone: $100 (☺$1,000,000)
Euroipods: $85 (☺$850,000)
Shitachi 32" TV: $100 (☺$1,000,000)
LG 41" TV: $120 (☺$1,200,000)
Dyson DC24 Vacuum: $12 (☺$120,000)
Swiffer Wet Jet: $3 (☺$30,000)
Guitar AMP: $50 (☺$500,000)
Les Paul Guitar: $150 (☺$1,500,000)

Drinks

AMP: $2 (☺$20,000)
1up: $1 (☺$10,000)
7up: $2 (☺$20,000)
Gatorade: $2 (☺$20,000)
Gatorade Tiger: $1.50 (☺$15,000)
Fanta 6-pack: $10 (☺$100,000)
Starbucks Coffee: $3.50 (☺$35,000)
Rockstar Energy Drink: $1.50 (☺$15,000)
Monster: $1.25 (☺$12,500)
Lo-Carb Monster: $2 (☺$20,000)
Red Bull: $1 (☺$10,000)
Mother (from Australia): $2.40 (☺$24,000)
Coca-Cola (600ml): $2.50 (☺$25,000) (375ml: $1.10/☺$11,000)
Sunkist: $2 (☺$20,000)
New Coke (375ml): $2.80 (☺$28,000)
Krating Daeng (Thai Red Bull- buy it, BITCH!): $1 (☺$10,000)
Aquafina Water: $0.50 (☺$5,000)
Dasani Water: $0.25 (☺$2,500)
Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice: $5 (☺$50,000)