User:Jdlrando/Trout Larry

Lawrence Bass, A.K.A. "Trout Larry" was one of the most powerful fish in the history of the world. Born somehwere in the Alaskan wild, he emigrated at the age of 3 months to the Gulf of Mexico, where the salt water combined chemically with various amino acids in his bloodsteam and gave him the ability to breathe on land. As he traveled up the Mississippi River, he stopped at every steamboat casino available, developing his gambling skills, as well as an addiction.

Trout Larry: A Nice Piece of Bass

Birth of a Trout

Originally part of a million jelly-like eggs in a cold pond in Alaska, Lawrence Bass was among the privileged Royal School of Trout. He was destined for royalty, and would eventually be the big fish in the pond. However, a dastardly bauxite mining corporation soon took control of the wilds and caused thermal pollution to be dumped into the pond, killing all of the trout's fellow heirs.

Lawrence Bass was the only survivor, a key indication that he would become a super fish.

Mexico

It is because of this pollution that Lawrence Bass had to flee to Mexico, specifically the Gulf of. After gaining the ability to breathe on land, Lawrence Bass took in the sights of our taquito-producing neighbor to the south, and began to gamble in the lawless cantinas of the various Mexican trading-post towns, especially Mos Eisley, where it is rumored he met up with Han Solo and Greedo.

The young Lawrence Bass was not a very good gambler. He lost all of his money and some of his scales, and nearly had to sell himself to be fileted into a seafood taco.

Various Loan Sharks among the fish community, which thought they were better than Lawrence Bass because they were cartilagenous fishes, sent bounty hunters after Lawrence Bass. This forced him to flee the country of Mexico and return to the United States. At this point, it should be noted that he also changed his name, and became Trout Larry.

The Yukon

Unfortunately, Trout Larry overshot the United States and ended up in Canada, also known as Bizarro America, or, our hairy neighbors to the north. Known for its delicious people and many forests, it did not appear to be a hospitable place for a fish.

Well, it turns out that there are many waterfalls in Canada, and we all know that trout love waterfalls. Unfortunately bears often prowl alongside waterfalls, attempting to catch trout. They then take the trout back to their RVs, kick back a couple of Coors Lights, and enjoy a trout barbeque.

As Trout Larry was scaling a waterfall, the infamous king of the bears Harley IronClaw attempted to catch Trout Larry. This was at the point where Larry was still a young trout, and not nearly as powerful as he would be, but the trout gave Harley a gigantic electric shock, frying the bear and making him become a lifelong vegetarian and retreat to a cavern in North Carolina.

Subsequently, Trout Larry decided it was time to travel south and start gambling again.

The Mississippi

Trout Larry began to travel the Mississippi, going to nearly every steamboat gambling establishment. However, these steamboat establishments were racist, and did not allow fish onboard if they weren't food, and certainly didn't let fish gamble.

This fact angered Trout Larry, and he began to use his fish superpowers to sink the gambling boats. he did this with deadly efficiency, until he came to a strange purple laced steamboat. He was captured and dragged onboard by none other than the esteemed purple-sporting Captain, Moses Purple.

It was at this time that the trout met the Folk Force, and became the first non-human member of the famed superhero group (it was not until a few years later that Harley IronClaw would join up on a whim).

The fish exhibited nearly superhuman power in a number of fights with the Force. He was used as Deus Ex Machina until the concept was shattered due to the coming of The Stipulator.

Hold'em Tournaments and The Gravedigger's Hand

Trout Larry entered the competetive Hold'em Tournament circuit shortly after joining the Folk Force, to wild success. There was talk among many circles that he was simply the best Hold'em player ever, and that he was unbeatable. He became somewhat of a legend, and a hero to fish and gamblers everywhere. His dead, glazed over fish eyes betrayed nothing. His cold clammy scales made other players somewhat uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, this tok him to a tournament in Illinois that would prove to be his demise. Another player, the competetive Evanus "Festus" Chiachiachiachiarro, known as "Kingpin Birchbark" among his cohort, drew a Gravedigger's Hand, thus setting off a chain of horrific events that led to the murder of Trout Larry.

The world was instantly plunged into mourning for the popular fish. the body was never found, but rumor has it that it was dumped into the mid-Atlantic, creating a region of enormous bad luck, originally known as Larry's Polygonal Graveyard, but more popularly known today as the Bermuda Triangle.

Posthumous Appearances

Trout Larry has appeared at two notable times after his death. In the early 20th Century it was rumored that a large, ghostly fish was spotted alongside the Titanic, and in fact was the real reason that the ship sunk. Scientists have not yet confirmed this rumor.

Also, it was believed that Trout Larry actually sunk the Lusitania, thus causing the United Sates to enter World War I and turn the tide of world history.

But, as Trout Larry would say, "who knows?"