User:Dark Paladin X

Oh MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!!!
The FBI have placed a wiretap in this userpage for no fucking damn reason. They don't have the power to edit this page, but anything un-American would give this user a rough couple of nights. Apparently, this user is forced to act "American" and "patriotic." Otherwise, the FBI would turn this user in and be tortured by Conservapedia.

God Hates Dark Paladin X!!

This article has been marked "Un-Christian," "atheist," "anarchist" and have blasphemed against the the Jee Man himself. Conservatives and religious zealots should be aware that this page is full of swearing shit and any jackasses who read this article are going to burn in Hell.

The writer of this article is an American Liberal and has a tree huggin', baby clubbin' outlook.

They may even work at the ACLU or, worse, be an unelected liberal activist judge. For information on the best way to save our great nation from scum like this watch Fox News (Psst. They're probably also a communist. Quick! Inform HUAC!)

This user is American
…and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)

This user is an Anti-Communist
…and is unabashedly American!

This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, available at Walgreens.

This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*

Hello, and welcome to Dark Paladin X's userpage that no one gives a fucking shit on. And yes, I'm a liberal, as well most Uncyclopedians. I'm currently a senior in high school and yep, school sucks dick, but you have to do it anyways. Ok, anyways, I'm a Taiwanese-American ~~who thinks the U.S. foreign policy sucks dick~~ who is highly patriotic. Anyways, I ain't going to give a lot of details of myself, or otherwise, I would get kidnapped by serial rapists. If you want to know more about me, go to the FAQ below.

Pages and projects[edit | edit source]

Pages on my RESTART (rewrite) list[edit | edit source]

Articles I created and I care not so you can send it to Hades[edit | edit source]

Misc[edit | edit source]

I have lots of sandboxes because I will work on multiple projects.

Those who have me in the hit list (and also in my enemy list)[edit | edit source]

Guild Wars Realm (I pissed off a couple of people in Guild Wars Realm and for some fuck reason, they kick me out)
Conservapedia
the Republican Party
communists
People's Republic of China
a lot of Christians
Grue
Bulbapedia (a highly retarded wiki for Pokemon) and their allies (Psst...Bulbagarden, they guys who made bulbapedia has been taken over by Conservapedia and Protest Warrior. Quick! Run for your lives)
Bill O'Reilly
Glenn Beck
Ann Coulter
the FBI
the United States army
the FCC
dictators
Jack Bauer
Protest Warrior HQ, ally of Conservapedia
and hundreds of conservatives
possibly hundreds of Muslims, um...radical Muslims. And also Iran, they hate me because of this userpage (actually the stuff relating to Pokemon).

oh and Digi now has me on the hit list because of the rape incident of Dawn.

Pokerelated shit[edit | edit source]

Music that Pokemon really should have but can't because of the right wing[edit | edit source]

any Disturbed music, especially "Voices," "This Moment," and "Land of Confusion."
songs from John Lennon
Bee Gees
"Paper Wing" by Rise Against (ok any songs from Rise Against)
Smells like Teen Spirit

Shockers[edit | edit source]

May, Max, and the entire Team Rocket are really pod people[edit | edit source]

May, Max (Pokemon), and the Team Rocket that we know of for two years are actually Pod People. The photos were taken by the pod people in 2005 showing the REAL May, Max, and Team Rocket. If you don't believe me, click here and here. These photos show the REAL May, Max, and Team Rocket trapped in the white fibers (and ignore the photos of Ash and Brock, kinda irrelevant) like how the pod people trap their victims. The pod people threaten to rape them if anyone attempts to save them.

It was in June 27th, 2007 that I decided to sneak into a NASA spaceship and fly to Mars to save them. Armed with only a wikipedia:Franchi SPAS-15, a flamethrower, and a Desert Eagle, I flew to Mars and fought hordes of pod people, grues, Iranian soldiers, Ultor guards, zombies, mutants, and Robert Mugabe's mercenaries to save May and Max. However, I did NOT save Team Rocket (rather they were killed by machine gun turrets). Ok, they didn't get killed, but I left them to the Martians to give them some bad nights. Eventually, May and Max are saved and they are currently living in Orange County, California. Oh, and I developed a love relationship with May and she is pissed at User:Digimon for not saving her. But hey, at least he has Dawn.

Oh and the pod versions of May, Max, and Team Rocket, they are gone now (and Digimon on earth is a pod person). Another shocker that I found out at Mars is that the GOP tried to cover this up (and here's the catch, the entire GOP party are pod people).

May is a hardcore liberal[edit | edit source]

Most of you kinda wondered why May didn't appear in the 10th season of Pokemon. Well, here's the thing. The FCC and the GOP pressured the guys who make the hit reality TV show Pokemon to get rid of May. The reason why the GOP (who are now pod people) pressured the guys behind the reality hit show is because May, is in fact, a hardcore liberal. She supports homosexuals, abortion, opposes the Iraq War, and is an atheist anarchist. She highly supports Barack Obama. Also, she listens to the punk rock band Rise Against (who is also liberal). And get this! she supports PETA (which makes her vegetarian) and believes that global warming will destroy Earth. She also love gay people, which she even stated this:

“

George W. Bush hates gay people.

”

Sadly, we will all miss May, as she was replaced by Dawn because the guys believe it would attract more audiences (especially guys). what the GOP didn't know is that Dawn is also a liberal as well.

FAQ[edit | edit source]

Q1: What are your political views?
A: If you actually see the templates above, I'm a hardcore liberal. I support same-sex marriage (and no, I am not gay, so please shut the fuck up) because I find it stupid and sad to see gays are treated like shit(and historically, gay were treated as shit). You know that gays are people and they are normal like us, and the religious right want to surpress gays and want death as punishment to homosexuality. I also enjoy eating babies and having evolution being taught in schools. I am also for health care, since nowadays, medicine is expensive and the poor can't afford to have good health insurance. However, the Republicans don't give a fuck on the those who need health care, so the life expectancy rate in America isn't as high as Europe. I also want to help the poor by lowering taxes and increasing minimum wage (which is a little contradictory but no gives a fuck on it). Oh and I'm a pacifist that hate all wars. You know what, war is fucking hell and there is no victor in war, only dead corpses and rape. I mean, can we all live in peace and tranquility and tolerate each other or do we want to blow the shit out of each other. Also, I really don't understand how waging wars can solve world peace. We can solve all of this by dismantling every military in the world and there, problem solved. And guns, guns are bad. In fact, if we all the guns away from everyone, there will be no more crime since no one have guns to rape or murder someone. I also ~~hate~~ dislike the president George W. Bush because that asshole had lead us to an unneccessary war. Also, I hate unnecessary censorship, especially in anime (observations by me and my friends in high school, radio is the least censorship while anime has the most).

Yes, I, like most liberals, respect freedom of speech. And in America, you can do whatever the hell you want (well except raping, running around naked, and shooting others in the head. Oh and I also think death penalty and torture are acts of revenge and that should go). After all, only dictatorships use capital punishment.

Q2: Why you chose to be a liberal?
A: Ok, well first of all, if anyone have noticed the conservative Christian agenda, the agenda calls for the return of traditional values in America (which they claim, America is founded for and by Christians). But wait, didn't Thomas Jefferson founded USA of freedom of religion and the separation of church and state. In addition, America is NOT a theocracy, it's a democracy. Also, if you let religion dominate every aspect of life, let's say...ooohhhh, a shitty life where some crazy guy wants to nuke our assess and a place where Dawn might be forced to wear a hijab which ruins her sexiness. Ok, maybe some aspects, but not your entire damn life for fucking sakes. Also, have you notice that the religious right AREN'T tolerant to emos, gays, Muslims, Pokemon fans, Goth people, rap music, hard rock, Disturbed, Rise Against, Bee Gees, video game addicts, pro-Darwin evolutionists and abortionists (which ironically, the Bible and Jesus say that you have to love everyone no matter what). So what these guys want to do, they want to influence the American politics, silence those who oppose the Christian traditions, and take control of the entire media. They also can't stand Pokemon because of the "evolution" thing (if you know what I mean). In other words, Christians want to suppress pleasure, things that we enjoy, and create a theocratic dictatorship. They say that Christian values in America will sustain freedom. Ok, here's a thing. Freedom is pleasure and pleasure is freedom. Freedom of religion is pleasure. And also, before you Christian right go out and vote, do you ever think about people who AREN'T Christian or religious. The Christian right wants control of everything and they are taking things of extremes. Oh and they can't handle swearing in Uncyclopedia, so they want censorship and they created the FCC to do so. In simpler words, the Christian right want a totalitarian theocratic state. Ok, so I kinda criticize religion. I'm not against Christianity or religion, I'm against religion being spiked up or having religion control everything. You kinda get the gist of why I'm a liberal. WAKE UP AMERICA!! UNITED STATES IS GROWING MORE CONSERVATIVE!! GO OUT AND VOTE DEMOCRAT FOR FUCKING SAKES IN 2008!!

Basically I'm not against religion but against religion taking things too far.

P.S. I forgot to mention this but often racists are on the right-wing sector (i.e. Nazis). So that's another reason why I side with the left.

Q3: Are you tolerant to everyone?
A: Hell ya! I love everyone, unless if you are a rapist or someone who hates Jews.

Q4:Do you enjoy watching Pokemon or any anime?
A: I used to when I about 7-10 years old, but now I'm 18 years old and I outgrown that shit. In fact, if you can go check this article out, Pokemon, as well as nearly 65%+ anime in the United States are highly censored by the FCC and the right-wing Christians. The only good anime I watched in my entire like is Origin: Spirits of the Past and films from Hayao Miyazaki. This is because there is no clear editing and cutting and the voice acting kicks ass. As compared to Sonic X, Dragonball Z, and Pokemon (Show), there is a lot of nonsense editing and cutting (I mean, I don't if someone says "kill" or any reference of death in Pokemon and I don't mind if I hear a song from Disturbed in that show). Not only that, the voice acting sucks dick. Apparently, most of you might agree that the Japanese version is better (do I mention Japan is liberal?). There are many reasons why I consider Happy Tree Friends to be funnier than Pokemon.

Here's a thing I would to say: if anyone is over 14+ and still watches that show, they should get a fucking damn life because they should have known that Pokemon as well as most anime is fucked up.

On the other hand, I create Uncyclopedia articles on Pokemon for satire due to the censorship.

Nobody in high schools give a shit on Pokemon anymore

Q5: Are you a communist?
A: For fucking sakes!! I ain't a communist, did you read the userboxes. Anyways, I have a disdain on communism because not only the concept of communism sucks but if you look at all communist countries in history, they were all shitted up so bad and everyone acts like automations. In other words, totalitarianism.

Q6:Who do think is hot? May or Dawn?
A: Dawn is the hottest and everyone wants to stare at her for over an hour. However, I like May better because she seems the most optimistic from all of the Pokemon characters that I heard off.

Q7:What is your taste of humor and what's up with all the references to rape?
A: My taste of humor is kinda hard to explain. All can I say is this, I don't go off bad mouthing blacks and Jews. Most jokes are often related to the Christian conservatives and English version of Pokemon. Also, I also act apathetic in some articles (especially ones about Pokemon) because people find sarcastic apathy to be funny (like saying no one gives a fuck on Pokemon in Uncyclopedia, which is damn true). I also try to pull off jokes on serious topics (in HTBFANJS, it does say being silly about serious topics can bring nice humor and vice versa). Heck, I tried the joke on May stating that she enjoys being raped ans straitjacketed, but Digimon didn't really find that amusing or silly despite of the straitjacket picture of May I made (everyone have different tastes of humor. For example I enjoy cookie'n cream ice cream while Digi enjoys broccoli ice cream).

Q8:What are your tastes of music?
A: Open of all different tastes of music as long there isn't any unnecessary censorship. If it comes to my most favorite, I would say mostly in the rock genre like punk rock and hard rock

Q9:Wait! You are against censorship!! What about the children?
A: Put a sock into it. That where you ass comes in to make sure little 1-12 year olds don't see disturbing stuff. I manage to make sure my 7-year old Pokemon fan couz didn't see this site (especially ones relating to Pokemon). If for some reason you don't let your 7 year old child watch Pokemon, you're a dick.

Q10:How come you have fixations on certain things, and then later you drop them and have fixation on others?
A:Let's keep that a secret between you and me. I'm really high-functioning.

Q11:Just exactly how bad is your English?
A:Bad to suck dick. When I write articles I end up writing the opposite meaning because I left a few words out.

Q12: Do you play any computer games?
A: I play Guild Wars, but I'm trying to cut my computer time so I can focus on my school work. If you need anything, go to here, here, and here under the same username in Uncyclopedia (unless, of course, if the forum is a dick and says no space, I go with Dpaladinx).

PokeGallery[edit | edit source]

And now for my closing com-

Oh...... FUCKING SHIT!! Not another Pokemon gallery!! Only pedophiles and noobs watch this shit. Go click here, here, here, here, here, and here. Oh a serial rapist, eh? Then go click here, here, here, here, here, here (with couple of nice rape, torture, and bondage pictures), here, and here.

Ok, I'm fucking tired of Pokemon since no one gives a shit on that show. Now go fuck yourself and masturbate while looking at these pictures. oh fucking shit, now Bulbapedia is keeping a close eye on this gallery.

Please leave a message after your scream, we will get back to you as soon as possible, thank you.
When Dawn gets angry, she turns evil.
Harley's nice fat ass.
May showing her glorious nice ass.
Duuuuuuuhhhhhh! I'm a douchebag.
Hey Ash, I'm In Your Base Killin' Your Dudes
May watching Ash's famous Pommel horse move fail.
Brock lending a Mudkip a hand while he offers the Mudkip some crack.
A written document of Mudkip, circa June 6th, 1066 A.D.
May, straitjacketed and raped.
Woohoo!! A Pokeorgy!!
RAPE! RAPE! RAPE! Wheeee.....
Yay!!! More RAPE!!! Woohoo!!
MORE RAPE PICTURES!! HOW NICE!!
Oh look, a grue!
Cmon. You know Dawn is hot.....
Misty bitching off somewhere
Muscleman Ash
Wow! Piplup is a totally gay!!
Numa Numa dance. Pokestyle!!
Sleeping...or committing suicide by eating himself...you'd be the judge
Dawn vs. Glenn Beck
W00T!!! *drools on self*
How Brock reveals his bisexuality.
Brock in one of his ~~love~~ sex scenes (and he's under crack).
A Buneary having many ~~love~~ sexual interests with Pikachu.
Let's get this ass whoopin'
Honestly, we don't want see any more of this kind of rape.
EMO!!!
Terrorism. How nice.
Do you really have to put that thing point-blank range? You'll get burniated.
Another Pokeorgy in the Advanced Generation series. Notice how Max sucked Brock's balls and Brock sucking May's boobs. Pikachu is also seen enjoying sex with Ash, but the Ash seen isn't the real Ash. The Ash you see here is actually the emo kid from another TV show while Ash was out sick.
May freaked out after she came to the realization that her Eevee huffed some of her crack. She also later found out that her Eevee had blowjobs Ash's Pikachu as well. What a total whore.
Dawn got angry at the emo after he insulted her hotness. Notice how Brock comes running in with a Desert Eagle in order to shoot at the emo and "Ash" (now played by another emo due to the fact we all know what happened to Ash) being shocked after he found the emo also had forced Pikachu kill Barack Obama, but failed.
Dawn after being high on weed. Although it appears that Dawn is crying, she's actually happy, high, and seeing Togepis fucking with other Togepis (which is a delusion).
Really? I kind of understand why people love looking down below Dawn's skirt, especially Pikachu here. Dawn is hot and she has a hot ass. Therefore, everyone wants to fuck with her (but not me). What most people don't really know is that Dawn isn't potty-trained and she mostly wears a diaper (much like Cream the Rabbit).
The consequences of weed.
The Über Emo in his first appearance.
The Über Emo demonstrates his parkour abilities in front of May and Cream before torturing and raping them. You can't outrun that bastard.
A Claim by Protest Warrior, claiming that Pokemon promotes socialism (earth to Protest Warrior, leave politics out of a fucking pedophile show).
Dawn falling on the so-called Survivor title in Guild Wars as an elementalist. Since, you cannot fall down at least once while going for the title, Dawn received an "F" on the title and was kicked out of the game.
Turtwigs are well-known to have mad drumming skills. Here, a Turtwig is playing a solo of a song from Rise Against, "Give It All" (which the band later announced that this Turtwig would be their substitute drummer if their drummer gets sick or something).
Fool!! Glameows can't be huffed!
Dawn and Ash in a scene where they ride in some giant whale I don't know the hell it is. Dawn exposes her diaper in this episode. Lovely!!