User:Col.swordman/Uncyclopedia:FFS

Is FFS just an innocent joke, or yet another brutal noob hunt? You decide!

“Ban the fuckin' lot of 'em”

~ Noel Coward on FFS

FFS is a wiki page hosted and maintained by Uncyclopedia.org. At the time this article was written, there were still a series of controversies as to why this page had been created in the first place.

Brief History of FFS

FFS was submitted to Uncyclopedia's main space on 8th June, 2006, by a certain user known as Jack Mort. According to some spectulations (as found on the corresponding discussion page), the name of the said page, "FFS", is probably an acronym of the phrase "For Fucks Sakes" and is meant to echo the sentence that follows in the next line to the title, "Vote to ban users". Since the creation of FFS, many users of Uncyclopedia began to employ the said page as a means to unleash their frustrations on others, or simply as an US Amry-style gag-jab on their own peers. Toliet-door comments, such as "You want to do what to my ass?!?" and "That is Bat Fuck Insane", have been found infesting FFS at an alarming level. Dispite a continual stream of resquests from average users to the administrators of Uncyclopedia, no clarifications have been made so far on the true purpose of FFS.

Various theories on FFS

Due to the mysterious nature of FFS, many theories have been proposed to explain the idea behind the said page.

Theory 1: A gag voting page

The theory went that FFS was in fact a gag voting page, as Jack Mort had perhaps originally intended. (Note: In several occasions, Jack Mort was found forging votes with other user's signatures, including Moneysign's and Keitei's.) This claim, however, eventually became unsustained as a regular user, Colonel Swordman, was found banned for 3 days for vote-forging on the said FFS page. (See below.)

Theory 2: A honeypot trap

This theory claims that FFS is a honeypot trap designed to give a false sense of security to the unwary and lure them into thinking that FFS was noting but a joke and that they could even self-nominate themselves without actually being banned. The theory also points out that no one so far has been bummed for whining or starting flamewars on the said page, that no one has been ever given intraveinous ketamine for surviving the said bumming, and, most importantly, that no one has ever whined or started a flamewar on FFS.

“ ....you banned Colonel_Swordman? ”

The "honeypot trap" theory is by far the most probable explanation of the presence of FFS, as it directly contradicts the principle of "There Is NO Cabal". Furthermore, FFS was also known to contain a glitch that caused the page to misspell the word "abhorrent", but the problem was later retified by a Dalek [1] - a species that had already declared to "ex-ter-min-ate" humanity. In another ocassion, a user was found banned for 3 days for forging votes on FFS, and till now, supporters of the "honeypot trap" theory still regard this as the "smoking gun" evidence.

Theory 3: Just another page the admins forgot to delete

Obviously.

An Incident of a User being banned for their activities on the FFS page

“ ....faux voting for someone else is certainly ban-worthy? ”

On 9th October, 2006, user Colonel Swordman was caught vote-forging on FFS and was subsequetly banned for 3 days [2] by administrator Bradaphraser. This incident is generally regarded by supporters of the "honeypot trap" theory as the most vital evidence of their claim. Using the edit history from VFH and FFS, experts were able to construct step-by-step choronologies of the shenanigen that Colonel Swordman had performed 6 hours prior to his banning. Here is one of the many versions:

Time (UTC)	Action
(03:22)	Colonel Swordman (likely) spotted a comment on VFH by Hardwick Fundlebuggy, which he would later use on the FFS page as part of his "joke".
15:16	Colonel Swordman added a vote using his own signature (which he apparantly crossed out on purpose) and a signature stolen from Hardwick Fundlebuggy's sig page.
16:53	Colonel Swordman updated the score of his "self-nomination" on FFS from "+8" to "+9"
17:56	A new entry was added by Colonel Swordman, with Hardwick Fundlebuggy as the nominee and the reason that he was "the author of 9 featured articles, for being WotM of August 2006, and for being Hardwick Fundlebuggy."
17:57	Colonel Swordman added a sorceboard, with initial score "+1", to the newly submitted "nomination".
17:57	Colonel Swordman realised he had made a mistake in the wikicode and thus corrected it. What a loser.
18:49	Hardwick Fundlebuggy commented on Imrealized "nomination", saying, "Ah fuck it, let's go bowling."
19:00	Hardwick Fundlebuggy realised his integrity had been sullied and promptly denouned the forged vote as a hoax. "I'd like to point out that I did not post this comment directly above," he explained.

The future of FFS

As the "honeypot trap" theory becomes more and more popular, many has stopped editing FFS in fear of severe banning. A few users, however, remains active on the said page despite the banning incident. "The whole wiki is just one big, lousy joke anyway," said one editor of FFS.

During the second Uncyclomedia conference, a spokesperson of the administrator team replied to a BBC correspondent's question on FFS with only one acronym - "TINC".