User:Aleister/Thank God It's Monday
Monday works its way around the calendar, leading hundreds of millions of capitalism's finest workers to bitch and moan about their lot in life and to pour coffee into their bodies like it was water. Then, bowing down and kissing the feet of the Great God Money, and much too far gone to edge themselves out of their built-in-since-childhood habits, they drag themselves from warm beds and race their fellow man to offices and sweathouses all over the world.
There was this one couple who worked for the same company, call the Fred and Ethel. One day both of them received an award! An award for never missing a day of work. In 25 years. 50 years if you're counting them both as a unit, which is what the award committee did in their press release. So, apparently, not once in 50years did one of them suggest that they skip a day of work and go to the beach or a ballgame. Let alone go down to the beach, get high, and say "Let's go fuck behind a sand dune".
They hated both Mondays and each other, but were too apathetic to see past the edge of their automated pattern and go postal.
Thank God It's Monday![edit | edit source]
Fred and Ethel represent the general lot. But there are the others. The people who love Monday.
These are the people who go to work or to somewhere else (or just stay where they are) with a song in their heart and a skip to their step. They not only celebrate the day honoring the Moon with wine glasses sloshing and hash pipes hashing, but if they had their pick of their favorite day, Monday would win every time, hands down and feet trampling one after the other (unless they aren't). The house pays double on that sure bet.
The Monday Posse[edit | edit source]
Get up and go doesn't mean anything to Children of the Moon. They go when they want to go, not a moment before. Then they come back when they've got a mind too. Monday's pagans makes pets out of the wildlife that lives between a rock and a hard place, create millions of lifestyles between a tableau and a vignette, and lurk between and outside the lines. The weekly Day of the Moon drives them into a sexual frenzy which seeks relief in the finest ways. The energy level this coveted coven creates while cavorting in the woods every Moonday fuels the rest of the week's creativity and fulfills its potential before anyone sipping coffee and riding the tram is the wiser.
Montagsdemonstrationen[edit | edit source]
Montagsdemonstrationen, the Monday Demonstrations which occurred in East Germany in 1989, used "Thanks God It's Monday" as their official battle-cry, something akin to Bob Dylans song Friday, but on Monday. East German officials went the other way entirely, but lost in a classic case of kick-the-can when the wall was mistakenly taken down.
Give Me An M, "M"[edit | edit source]
- M stands for Monday, the day we all can love,
- O stands for OK, because that's what we say,
- N stands for NAH to any other day,
- D stands for Destiny, which fits Monday like a glove.
- A stands for Another line to this horrendous rhyme,
- Y stands for Yay! when Monday makes its climb.
Let's examine the questions...[edit | edit source]
...of thanking God, and if this being would even take note of us thanking it.
Popular God Guide Joey No-Thumbs, a New York street yogi who lives under the bridge down by 36th Street, says that "Thanking God is politic which often bulges over into politeness. If something exists to hear the thanks, cool. If not, no skin off my nose."
Monday still lives in Sunday's shadow[edit | edit source]
Sunday finds everyone laying around. The sun is a pretty bright star, come to think of it, but when the earth turns around again - like a lap dancer twirling for his supper - and the sun shines off the moon but almost nowhere else in the sky, so we can see it, eventually everyone agrees that something has occurred, and that something is called "Monday". Then they get all riled up and twitch.
In summary[edit | edit source]
So does Monday have any Quabalistic Voodic Mojo, or is it just there to throw a monkey-wrench in the weekend? No rest for the wicked, is one answer to these multi-purpose questions, and Clara Oswald is another.
This is called turnabout-is-fair-play, giving Moon pagans time to get their giddy-up on.