Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Unnews: Latest attempt to capture Santa Claus fails
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Unnews: Latest attempt to capture Santa Claus fails[edit source]
My first uncyclopedia unnews,need some help with pictures. Yongen 92 04:11, 27 December 2007 (UTC)
- Firstly, remember to sign your posts with ~~~~ or by using the Signature button above the edit box. Secondly, dibs on this one!
Contestant CUN -- VFH NotM Buzz Ctrbs 04:01, 27 December 2007 (UTC)
| Humour: | 2 | Much of the article is randomness, with healthy doses of tired stereotypes, excrement jokes, explosions, and a line that is straight lifted from a featured article. These in their own right aren't necessarily bad, so long as they're funny. The only problem is that your jokes aren't all that funny. The vast majority are just stupid. I'd recommend reading through HTBFANJS, our resident humor guide, to try to get a good sense of how to get funnier articles. |
| Concept: | 3 | The concept really makes this article struggle; there are few ways to really spin "Terorrists attack Santa Claus" and make it funny. The only way that comes to mind would be to make it a sensationalized Fox News report, shouting from the rooftops "OSAMA BIN LADEN WANTS TO KILL SANTA CLAUS AND MOLEST YOUR CHILDREN IN THE NIGHT!" But even that concept is difficult to work with; the joke would tire quickly. I don't think there's much to milk out of this idea. I don't think that it could reach the upper echelons of articles, but it might be able to be a funnier, shorter article. |
| Prose and formatting: | 5 | There are some grammatical and spelling errors throughout the article, and the phrasing is awkward at points. I'd recommend running your articles through a spell-check program available with Word, or having someone proofread it. |
| Images: | 4 | You've got images, yeah, but they're not terribly great. They both seem very forced into the article; neither seems to really portray what you're trying to have them portray. You might want to find better pictures to reflect your text, either by searching for them, making them, or asking for them. |
| Miscellaneous: | 3.5 | Nothing further to say, really; averaged using Template:Pee. Oh, except a minor nitpick: Greenwich is on the Prime Meridian, not the International Date Line. |
| Final Score: | 17.5 | This article isn't great; to be honest, it's not even very good. This isn't to say that you should give up; when we're first starting out, we all struggle a bit. I've turned out some subpar things myself, and every editor on here would tell you the same thing. Don't get discouraged. Keep working. Keep trying. Keep writing. In no time, you'll be writing hilarious articles. Trust me. |
| Reviewer: |  Contestant CUN -- VFH NotM Buzz Ctrbs 04:40, 27 December 2007 (UTC)
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