Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Blue Tomatoes found in California, scientists puzzled
UnNews:Blue Tomatoes found in California, scientists puzzled[edit source]
My First UnNews.--Iwillkillyou333 17:21, 4 June 2009 (UTC) Iwillkillyou333 17:21, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
| UnNews:Blue Tomatoes found in California, scientists puzzled is being reviewed by Your Source for Fine Scented Pee And Whatever Else Comes Out Of Him |
- after reading this, I decided I'm not going to give scores on this one. • <18:40 Jun 10, 2009>
| Humour: | 0 | I'm not going to review this "section by section" because it would be too difficult to figure out which section is which, blah blah blah.
First, I would have to say that I don't understand why we care about blue tomatoes. It leaves us wondering, "What is he parodying?" "What's going on here?" This randomness right off the bat --right off the title, really-- confuses us. The next question you try to answer is why the tomatoes are blue. You really should go back and talk about why we should care. Make the reader see the blue tomatoes as a threat. At the end, you tell us that Arnold is saying it's great. So this unnews has no real introduction, middle, or conclusion because it doesn't explain why we should care, how it happened, or what's going to be done, and THAT'S the essence of UnNews. |
| Concept: | 0 | You started with an odd occurance, blue tomatoes, but didn't explain. We, the readers, want to know why this is news, other than that it's odd. |
| Prose and formatting: | 0 | Your prose is okay for unnews, but it's pretty informal, as though this was just told to us over dinner. News is pretty frank and objective, which could make stories like this funny. |
| Images: | 0 | Too many images: choose ONE image and stick with it. Make sure it has to do with the article and that the caption is at least interesting. |
| Miscellaneous: | 0 | n/a |
| Final Score: | 0 | Keep trying on this. I didn't score it because that wouldn't have been helpful. GOod luck, killer. |
| Reviewer: | • <18:40 Jun 10, 2009> | |