User talk:Cajek

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User talk:Cajek - Now with, like, tons fewer edits per month than it used to get

Evidence for the prosecution

- 2007 - I: Cajek Adopted, meets Led, Mordillo, & TKF! (7.2 - 7.12) Welcome! How did Cajek get adopted? Pee/Pic Rule. II: Meets Doctor Skullthumper (9.15 - 10.1) Happiness and Rainbows plus the Doctor III: I'm A Stupid Noob (10.3 - 10.16) Hard to Red Fails, I Hate Women IV: Meets Under user (10.16 - 10.29) Terrible review job, A Favour, Feedback V: Dumb Noob (10.25 - 11.5) What makes someone a Jehova's Witness? VI: Meets Boomer, I guess? (11.3 - 11.7) Socks and stuff, Yo!, Graduation?! VII: Cajek Gives Advice (11.7 - 11.13) Lesson in reviewing, Article Writing VIII: Meets THE, I Think (11.10 - 11.16) Cajek SUX!!, Guess What?, Good god! IX: Meets MrN9000 (11.21 - 12.1) Regarding your turnaround, It's that guy, I thought it was quiet round here..., Whore! X: Reviewer of the Whatnow? (12.2 - 12.3) RotM, Review lesson, Mordillo gains ULTIMATE POWER XI: I've Been a Bad Cajek (12.4 - 12.7) I've been a bad Cajek, Template Talk with LJLego, What's your problem??, Enough! XII: WTFWCD?? (12.7 - 12.9) What the fuck?, WWCD?, A little bit Unhappy, Damn, Boy! XIII (12.9 - 12.11) Hey look what Skull found XIV (12.11 - 12.12) big fat whore, Just a tip XV (12.12 - 12.15) British Accents, Not On My Talk Page Yet, A Pee Review Fight, Who-ah - Where is me? XVI (12.15 - 12.19) My ban, I can has award?!, Shitty Xmas, That's gay XVII (12.19 - 12.21) What the...?, Wackiness!, Hey don't just delete, What am I doing Hitler?, BRING IT ON CAJEK! XVIII (12.21 - 12.23) HAHAHAHA, Can I?, AE says, Jumping on Palpatine, Honestly Cajek XIX (12.23 - 12.28) Funniest Think, YA HAPPY?!, Fuck you, Cajek: Open Late - 2008 - XX: Cajek's Hiatus (1.18 - 3.24) Dearest Cajek, Bored & Angry, I Finally Won, Mah Nà Mah D'oh!, STM Visits, Zork in a talk page, Wikipedia, Under Used Ninjastar, My Best Review, Lonely, Lonely 2 weeks, Led is an Admin, Put Me Down, UU Likes Me, Cajek's BACK XXI: Meets YesTimeToEdit (3.26 - 4.2) Archive, A Cajek Template!, A long overdue award XXII (4.3 - 4.5) Feather in Cap, 50 Most Edited, I Am Not Pants, Cajek Kills XXIII (4.6 - 4.10) Interruption, Switching Sigs, Peeing Person, Sig Switching, Secrets XXIV (4.11 - 4.17) Running Gag Runs to Cajek, My Uncle, I've Realized Something XXV (4.17 - 5.6) Friendly?, Oh Damn I Didn't Even See That, Kidney Theft, American Novel, ScoarFix, The Thing!, Fnoodle, Everybody Else, Aaah Diddums, Cajek Flips Out, VFD Drama XXVI: Unsignpost Is Born (5.6 - 5.20) Talkpage Unclean, It Begins, I'm Popular, Look It's The Doctor And Me!, Cajek's On Edge, GO CAJEK?!, Hey Buddy, I Drawed Stuff, Moar Awardz Plz! XXVII: The Forgotten Archive? (5.20 - sometime) Talkpage Popular, The Doctor is out?, You say Kay-jek, I say Ka-jek, I can haz secretary? XXVIII: Cajek's Too Busy To Link To Archives (sometime - sometime else) Containing Cajek-related talk content, including Penis - 2009 - XXIX: Cajek was gone for a LOOONG time (6.19.08 - 5.15.09) rape rape rape raep, Why all the bans?, COME BACK!, Serious, 100 banz = sysop XXX: Cajek meet n' greet, adopts Staircase (5.17.09 - 5.28.09) RAEP!, Star of Vigilance, OMG ITS THINKER!!!, New Adoptee: Staircase XXXI: Blah blah, articles, a mini-drama, adoptee questions (5.28.09 - 6.15.09) Sign my boob, NYAH NYAH, Rewrite of LOBSTER after a vandal war

hail, your cajekness

well, i've seen in various places that your return isn't permanent and that your departure is probably imminent, so i'll get to the point: would you like to do one more collaboration before you ride off into that powder blue sunset? here's the one i'm thinking of: This is your captain speaking. i see it as a series of announcements from an airline pilot, in the first person. i've had it on the back burner for months, because it'll need a goodly dose of cajek-y goodness. what say ye? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:25, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

I finished my first day of online stats just a little bit ago, and I still have to study for the GRE (SAT for grad students), but I'll probably be around sporadically. I have a similar project, User:Cajek/Loud Computer Voice that Counts Backwards, but it sucks. Take a look at it and see if it's close to what you were thinking, so that you can save some time. Start the article in your userspace, Gerry, and I'll be along in a bit! Working with you guys is fun.   Le Cejak • <20:31 Jun 15, 2009>

It's from april 2008, so don't judge it too harshly!   Le Cejak • <20:33 Jun 15, 2009>

NO!

You got rid of our conversation. I'm going to run away and never come back. Staircase CUN^t 00:59, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Don't worry, you'll start another conversation somewhere else, I'm sure.   Le Cejak • <1:02 Jun 16, 2009>

Why, of course! Why didn't I think of that? Staircase CUN^t 01:03, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

EVA

I would like to redo much of the EVA article that you blocked from me editing since I been gone. User:Gendo/sig 12:44, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

First of all, thanks for talking to me. Second, redo the stuff that's left, because no way in hell will we let you redo the crap that's gone. Just do the stuff you meant to do in the first place! Thanks, Gendo.   Le Cejak • <4:47 Jun 16, 2009>

Flying the flag of missed opertunities

/me takes a shit on your talk page.

On another note, did you read through Snow White? You seemed quite enthusiastic about it, and if you think it deserves a nom that's be cool.    Orian57    Talk   05:07 16 June 2009

FIYC for Gert

The last people who got that award were Spang and LJlego for revamping the whole VFH system which they worked for weeks I think. And you went ahead and gave it to Gert, which you had no business of doing. And now, I have to explain to him why am I being a schmuck and removing him from the various awards list he is entitled as part of that and changing that sig. So I'm thinking, since you created this in the first place, you might as well save me the bother of being the resident schmuck again. ~ 12:34, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

FIYC? Never heard of it. Explain.    Orian57    Talk   12:39 16 June 2009

To be accurate (this being me), actually, me & Cajek got that award a little more recently than Spang and Lj, for the whole pee thing I think. From Lj. Oh, and some bloke who lives down a manhole bestowed it on Gerry this year as well, largely for Signpost related reasons - hope he wasn't out of line there! ;-) --UU - natter 12:50, Jun 16

It's an admin given award since it gives you a instant KUN, which otherwise has to be earned by writing or working hard to get WOTM. However, I'm really tired of being the town's schmuck so we just leave it as it is. Cajek, try to stop throwing random stuff at people all right? ~ 12:54, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

After just finding out he takes care of the Estonian Uncyclopedia, I'm impressed enough to think he deserves an award like that. I mean, Gert5 running a whole Uncyclopedia, wow. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:58, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

I don't think I've asked for feedback on that did I? Thanks for not interfering. ~ 13:01, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

That was just a comment. Just a comment for crying out loud! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:20, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey Mordillo! oooh, well, I didn't think it meant anything. True, LJ bestowed it on me, but... I mean... the guy's been around for three years! He tries, and, well, I decided to give the poor guy a break. Call me a bleeding heart, I guess. I really didn't know FIYC meant anything at all, and the guy has one thing above lots of people who haven't earned it: he keeps coming back. He has seniority over me, for one, and probably about 98% of the people on the site right now. If you want me to remove it, however, I will Mordillo.   Le Cejak • <16:04 Jun 16, 2009>

Nah. Let's keep it like that. ~ 16:42, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

I thought you said you'll crack down on unnecessary awards? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 16:10 June 17 '09

Unlike most of the awards around here, this is one of the few that actually means something. People who are usually given this, have done something extraordinary for Uncyclopedia. Such as - establishing Pee review in its current form, redesigning VFH, establishing the unsignpost. ~ 19:08, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

Template spam

The Narrator Would like to thank you all... For voting on his rendition of Snow White. "It’s a fine story. Has everything a child needs to learn about the universe and it’s capricious, unfair ways."

   Orian57    Talk   16:03 17 June 2009

Christian Anarchist

As a Christian, I believe the Bible when it says that all governments are of Satan, and the only allegiance you should grant is to Jehovah. Both the Old and New Testament specifically spoke out against governments. They are to be endured, but not followed. See 1 Samuel 8 for God's advice against having a government. It's believed to be the first anarchic essay in history. Also notice that the Kings then were a good deal nicer then our Presidents now. --Clemens177 02:36, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

(the following is in response to what you posted at my site)

Not sure that this forum gives much opportunity for mocking individual contributers, though those who are Christian are well used to that. I'm glad you think I'm a good writer. Oh...and I surely can't be the only Christian here, it's just that most Christians on the net don't admit it as there is so much prejudice and bigotry against them. --Clemens177 04:01, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

There's a few.    Orian57    Talk   04:05 18 June 2009

in a related note, did you actually read all the way through conservapedia's article on lobsters, cajek? they're banned by the bible! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:05, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

There's prejudice against every religion on the net really. Not all of us are afraid to admit it, because some Christians, like us Baptists, has a less strict set of rules then some of the religious nuts at Conservapedia. Saberwolf116 14:02, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

1: Yes, I did read that, Gerry! Is there some way we can put that in the article?

2: I don't dislike Christians on the internet, but I do dislike Conservapedia on the internet.

  Le Cejak • <14:08 Jun 18, 2009>

I agree; Conservapedia is full of a bunch of deliousioned right-wing nut-jobs. Saberwolf116 14:21, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

sure, we can work that in somewhere...'lobsters in the bible' if we can come up with enough for a full section, i'm thinking. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:23, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Hello friend

How are you, bud? I hear rumors that you have returned. I too have returned. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:59, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

I bring offerings of freshly baked lemon cupcakes with sugar frosting

Could you perhaps give that article of mine you so kindly reviewed for me a few days back a peek and give me any feedback on my talk page on if I've managed to improve on it? The second review I requested came up with close to nothing I didn't already know and delivered it in a very condescending tone, so I can't say I appreciated the information from there quite as much, while you've actually been quite helpful. (Thank you for that). -- Little Pink Sock 21:48, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey LPS! Thanks, for the feedback feedback. Gimme the link to your article (I don't remember which one it was) and I'll look at it within... a bit   Le Cejak • <22:26 Jun 18, 2009>

HowTo:Survive a Baby‎. I think there's something I can give you in exchange for the feedback you already gave me. I found this laying around:

Rejoice, Cajek! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

-- Little Pink Sock 22:31, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Palpatine

I found this clunkin' around my trunk and though that, if you were still down, we could jam to this over the next week or so and grind out a good article. I'm going to start the article here if you wanna stop by and make this a collab proper. SYSRQ IS BACK BITCHES. —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:53, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Pee request

I don't think Tags will get it, even though I asked him, so find it here. Thanks! ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 12:09, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Well you...

Suggested I write an "encyclopedic" article. Here is what I came out with, what do you think? Sorry for the whore, hope you don't mind, I'd have asked your opinion anyway. :)    Orian57    Talk   12:11 19 June 2009

Moar Feature Thankies

Writers, of all kinds, would like to thank you! For voting for the article on Writing to become featured. They wrote this template just for you, please apreciate the effort - it is a work of art after all!

   Orian57    Talk   13:03 22 June 2009

Dawww

I had completely forgotten how good Perestroika was, thanks for butt-raping it into mainspace. You always were my best adopter, and I your best adoptee (after that fire killed all the other ones) --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:42, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

I know, DJ: it is good! I wondered why you stopped writing: you're good at this!   Le Cejak • <13:45 Jun 23, 2009>

Yeah DJ, write more! You = good. --UU - natter 13:52, Jun 23

FU

on behaf of the FU gradjewating class of 2009 we the stewdents of the Fackulty of Agrickulchur awnors program wish to xpres our sinsear appreesheashun for yer suporting a desent edjewcashun for peepul like us hoo mite haf utherwize ended up in jail for growin pot or sumthin which we wood of like only did just for medical use cuz we herd that Flin Flon, Manitoba needed help cuz they coodnt keep up with deman anymor ~ Ricky, Bubbles & Julian

Hey!

Can I be an admin at that Peter Jackson wiki? Since nobody seems to care about it, it can be like a little hangout for us. We could joke-ban for hours! Please? Saberwolf116 23:12, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Ah! I totally would, but I'm not a bureaucrat! Have you done anything there, yet? Wait, I'll check for me-self   Le Cejak • <23:27 Jun 24, 2009>

Nah, I just recently discovered it. Also, you're blocked indefintely. Saberwolf116 23:34, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Admins can't block each other for long! COME ON OVER and help me fuck the place up!!!   Le Cejak • <23:37 Jun 24, 2009>

I hope we can contact the founder, i'd like to help out and such. Saberwolf116 23:55, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Dude, don't blow my cover on the wiki! I have to act serious to become an admin! Saberwolf116 23:59, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

You want to "help out and such"?? WTF? C'mon, I thought you were with me on this, Saber   Le Cejak • <0:00 Jun 25, 2009>

See my above comment... Saberwolf116 00:00, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Play along dude, I need to trick him into thinking i'll be a good admin. Saberwolf116 00:06, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Why did you block me? Are you not seeing these messages? Saberwolf116 00:09, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, I didn't see that message. I blocked you for three days until you can prove you're a vandal like me. He's not coming back. If I unblock you, do you PROMISE to paint the wiki red?   Le Cejak • <0:10 Jun 25, 2009>

Only if i'm somehow made an admin. Saberwolf116 00:12, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

You know what? I have a better idea: i'll make my own wiki, and we can vandalize that! Saberwolf116 00:16, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Aww man, I can't download the software! Can you make your own wiki for us to vandalize? Saberwolf116 00:19, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

I've ALREADY got a wiki to vandalize! Stop being such a dingus   Le Cejak • <0:25 Jun 25, 2009>

Hey, this article I wrote definitely needs a feature there. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 06:34, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Also, now that I did all that, no more wizard-hating. That article is honestly one of the most satirical things ever thought of as it is literally satrazing almost any piece of long-running fiction. Look it up if you don't believe me. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 08:50, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

I made my own wiki!

Join, and i'll make you an admin! WEEEEE! Saberwolf116 04:22, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Randomly Found The Lobster Article

Tis the funniest thing since Sliced Bread. And Sliced Bread was pretty hilarious. But now I can think of something funnier...yes that's right! LOBSTERS eating SLICED BREAD!! Hahahaha!! Anyway, Mr. C. A Jek, how be you? Nameable • mumble? 18:21, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Ooh, and also, small whoring and can I nominate lobster for VFH please? Plus, sorry for the ever so random earlier comment.Nameable • mumble? 18:21, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey Cajerk!

Your IP address has been automatically blocked because it was used by another user, who was blocked by Cajek.

The reason given is this:

   Autoblocked because your IP address has been recently used by "Saberwolf116". 

The reason given for Saberwolf116's block is: "You, uh, obviously don't get this, Saberwolf."

   * Start of block: 17:55, 25 June 2009
   * Expiry of block: 00:08, 26 June 2009
   * Intended blockee: 71.14.38.10 

You may contact Cajek or one of the other administrators to discuss the block.

What the fuck? Somehow I've gotten tagged with Saber's ban over there??? Please unban me. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 18:15, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Try it now, Dex... WRITER OF THE MONTH!! FOR NO REASON!!!   Le Cejak • <18:22 Jun 25, 2009>

Works now. I guess it was magic or something. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 18:24, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Per #37's tp, it looks like your better half has made a complaint to wikia. Think you'll still be an admin by next week?  :) --T. (talk) 18:09, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

The only reason I did that stuff was to get in trouble! IT'S BORING NOW! Being an admin is stupid. Just ban me already! REMEMBER WHEN SANNSE BANNED ME FOR A MONTH for trolling on Wookiepedia? THAT was awesome! This is bullshit, why am I not banned already   Le Cejak • <18:12 Jun 26, 2009>

C'mon. You like it there. Admit it. Otherwise why lock the front page? ^_^ We need some more traffic there... Maybe if I change my sig... --T. (talk) 18:16, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Okay, I did my edits for the day. So, am I a good, iron-fisted admin?   Le Cejak • <18:50 Jun 26, 2009>

Colour me impressed. And way to put the boots to that damned chicken. --T. (talk) 19:13, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Peter Jackson guy

No, I seriously think this guy is retarded. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:56, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

CAJEK!

Please, Cajek, please help us. Please join the Goa Tse Clan. You can have all the food you want, and you wil be safe from admins. |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 09:55, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Question

How did you get the imag on were the Uncyclopedia Potato is---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 08:53, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

Hi Cajek!

I've been off for a while and I have been editing much. I plan to write something soon. Any good ideas of what I could do? I've been running low on good ideas. And I'm thinking maybe an UnNews, so I can justify my FP nom. Staircase CUN^t 15:55, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

Staircase, thanks for coming back! As far as writing goes, it's always a struggle to think of somethig to write: It's too bad it's been such a slow month for news. Ah! I was lying! Do a grand unnews that covers all angles: Iran, Michael Jackson, Governor Sanford, Farrah, Jon and Kate, and healthcare reform. All in one article. Or not, it's up to you :)   Le Cejak • <16:18 Jun 28, 2009>

That seems like it would be hard to do, though. Staircase CUN^t 17:03, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

Cajek, here are my Do You Know facts:

Do you know that:

• The Goa Tse Clan wants you?
• Spang is a dick?
• The Goa Tse Clan has four offices: Giratinaton, Tokyo, London and New York?
• Two admins have double standards?
• "Can I be an admin please?" is an example of how people beg to become admin?

|Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 04:46, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

You lost control, eh?

Looks like you've been banned from the Peter Jackson wiki. Saberwolf116 18:38, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

I am calling Bullshit on this. How in the hell, did you only get a 3-month ban, and I got a 1-year ban? Bull. Shit. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:49, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

Ta!

I, Orian57, extend my grattitude for (of?) your vote on WotM! No but seriously, guys. Thanks, it means something to me, more than it should probably.

Also I did notice you added Sancastle to your faves template thing, thats pretty cool. :) Also you're not gone again are you?    Orian57    Talk   11:31 1 July 2009

I'm still watching my watchlist (that's what it's for!) but I'm not contributing as much right now. I just need to be inspired to write anything is my problem, Orian. I'm glad you got WotM, you deserve it, and it SHOULD feel good. Okay, see you 'round   Le Cejak • <13:17 Jul 01, 2009>

Cool, cool. Can as you to vote on something for me? Its struggling a bit but I do think it's good enough.

Happy Birthday!

I noticed you've been on Uncyclopedia for 2 years as of today. Congratulations! Saberwolf116 15:47, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

It finally happened!

I got a review! For this! However, o ten for prose and formatting! Dammit! Why am I using all of these exclamation marks! Want to go working on the article! Staircase CUN^t 03:44, 4 July 2009 (UTC)

I saw your edit! Jesus Christ I'm using a lot of exclamation marks! I can't stop! Please respond! Staircase CUN^t 03:56, 5 July 2009 (UTC)

Daddy! I want to talk to you for no reason whatsoever! Staircase CUN^t 00:44, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildy

---

Woody says no, so it's your turn now to do a request.

Hey Cajek, I have this article on Pee Review that I want reviewed. It's been up there for a while, so do you think you could help me out with that? |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 08:38, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

Dear Cajek,

What you recently did to my beautifully written work of art, otherwise known as UnNews:My thirteen colonies are better than your entire grand empire, is

acceptable. In conjucture with this, I pray you could do the same for my other masterpiece, UnNews:My country is better than your whole fucking continent!, as I am too lazy to do it myself. True, I could have just reformatted that article in the time it has taken me to write this, but I find no joy in that possibility.

With Love,

Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:04, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Fantasy Football

Would you be interested? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:28, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

Award from UN:REQ

This user created Edit history, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

MadMax 17:19, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

you there!

Get your skinny ass on IRC right this instant! - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 05:15, Jul 31

Oh oh

Oh yeah I saw your edit. Staircase CUN^t 06:05, 31 July 2009 (UTC)

AUGH

Say something to me! Staircase CUN^t 21:57, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

No, I refuse   Le Cejak • <21:58 Aug 09, 2009>

Damn, I've been out-witted. Staircase CUN^t 21:59, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

neener neener   Le Cejak • <22:01 Aug 09, 2009>

You're far superior fo me. Also, one of my articles got nominated for feature, but failed miserably. Aren't you proud? Staircase CUN^t 22:03, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Hey, be patient. Be patient right now or I'll... I'll... I don't know what I'll do.   Le Cejak • <18:40 Aug 10, 2009>

Hey Cajek. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:00, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

HEY HE'S MY DAD Staircase CUN^t 22:01, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

What? TOTAL BRAINFUCK!!! That's astonishing!-Almost Sir Random Crap

Hai there...

Hai there, I'm a lonely noob, err... I mean an Experienced Challenged, will you adopt me? :) --CreamedCrap 16:44, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Sorry CC, I'm not around enough! Good luck hunting, though.   Le Cejak • <18:39 Aug 10, 2009>

Hi dear.

You aren't a Cajek, as much as that one guy named Cajak. Also, he didn't smell like fish. Also, you smell like fish. Also, you don't taste at all like fish. This was a dissapointment for me. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:42, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

I liked Cejak better, personally. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 18:46, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Been reading my archives...

I miss 2007. Also, you. But mostly 2007. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 21:12, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

You're back doing things? That's awesome, Boomer. 2007 was a much less serious time. Why don't you focus on training new Cajeks instead of pining over lost ones? Someone changed my sig again!!!   Le Cejak • <19:39 Aug 14, 2009>

Mwahahaha. --UU - natter 19:44, Aug 14

But I don't want a new Cajek. I want the old Cajek. I want it I want it I want it!

Also, I preferred Cajek: Man Magnet myself. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 19:51, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Boomer, I don't feel funny right now, what with trying to get into grad school and all. As far as "man magnet" goes, that is a gross mischaracterization, I attract males who dain to call themselves "men" ...now leave me alone!   Le Cejak • <19:54 Aug 14, 2009>

I was thinking about switching it to 'Dan Magnet' myself. More specific, more creepy. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:56, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Well, I am talking to three people: BOOMER, WOODY, and a guy who likes to be on bottom, specifically, UNDER other USERS. My sig may be light blue, but it's not as uber-gay as your guys'   Le Cejak • <20:02 Aug 14, 2009>

Hey, if talking here keeps you posting, we'll never stop! NEVER!

Also, you two back off. Cajek's my man. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 20:05, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

UnNews:Woody Under Boomer; Users decree "uber-gay". That sounds about right. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:12, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

I demand top billing! Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 20:17, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Boomer gives Woody to Under User? Under User Booms Woody? Woodies Under Boomer? Boomer's Woody Under Used? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:24, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

This is my favourite talk page on Uncyc. I love the bit where the clowns come in. It also has the first recorded case where I spelt Orian's name wrong... In addition, this might perhaps be of interest to a Cajek? MrN 20:51, Aug 14

This might be the first time you've spelt it correctly. I'm touched. /me wipes back tear/    Orian57    Talk   21:02 14 August 2009

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for making my article a feature

It's about fucking time.

—Thanks

---

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:11, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

BOOM!1 HEADSHOT!!1!!!11

Hey, im luiz127 and I need someone to adopt me and help me shun my nooby ways, will you adopt me please?

luiz127

Hey, Cajek isn't around so much now a days, so I can adopt you if you'd like. Also sign useing four tidles ~ as that adds datestamp aswell as your name.    Orian57    Talk   12:38 20 August 2009

You're better than everyone else.

And now you wrote something again. I love you. -RAHB 05:42, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

Yes, but was it GOOD, Rahb? That's the question! ...The answer's no.   Le Cejak • <0:05 Oct 16, 2009>

Yeah. You're right. You suck now. I want my diamond bracelet back. -RAHB 20:52, October 17, 2009 (UTC)

grad school

don't let applying/attending grad school stand in the way of uncyclopedia. i've been at grad school for two months now, and i've barely touched uncyc at all... and that really doesn't help reinforce my point so i don't know why i mentioned it. anyway, we should collaborate again the next time we're both around. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 02:58, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Here's how 911 began

Have we formally met yet? Or should I say formerly met? In any case, "Howdy, fellow formerly adopted noob!" I was looking at HowTo:Exploit 9/11 and I don't get a part at the beginning "...a few less Americans around to-". Should that be "...a few less Americans around or-" or am I missing something? (I'm one of those anally-retentive types). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:21, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

Whoring article

Well hello sir. You look like a man of good taste. Perhaps I can persuade you to VOTE ON THIS ARTICLE. Dammit. Dammit. MrN 01:47, Oct 27

Another vote-whoring noob. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:07, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

Hey, could you

please adopt me, Cajek? --Invincibleflamegruemaster 16:11, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Hi, this is Cajek's occasional answering service and occasional joke-banning service. Cajek is here somewhat less than frequently these days. I'd recommend choosing a user who is more active at the moment. But not me. Because I suck as an adopter. Now I have to go ban Cajek for having to respond to your question, excuse me. --UU - natter 16:19, Nov 2

Alright. Well... That was certainly a special moment. --Invincibleflamegruemaster 17:52, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

That's at least four people this user has asked to adopt in the last four weeks. I hope this user is now following the advice given previously, which is please don't ask someone to adopt you until all others asked have responded to your request, or at least you've withdraw your request before asking someone else. Thank you for listening. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:16, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

I hope this won't get you banned...

Here's an idea I got - do you think there are people who would like to try it out? Has a lot of possibilities I think. -- Style  Guide 13:48, November 18, 2009 (UTC)

Yoo Hoo!

So anyway, it may or may not be my birthday tomorrow. I may or may not be about to get even older than I already am. It may or may not make my day even more complete than it's already going to be to get some form of userpage vandalism from a hyperactive, England-hating, multiple-featured-article-writing, light-blue-sig-having maniac. So if you see any, will you let 'em know? --UU - natter 14:53, Dec 15

Bastard. See if I ever joke ban you again. Oh, except you won't, on account of not being here an everything. Well, that's fine. Go on, do "things" with your "life" and stuff. See if we care. Which we don't, for the record. --UU - natter 10:40, Dec 25

adoption pls

hey sup i saw that you would adopt noobs soo can you adopt me??

^Si_r^m_ixx^alot0 ima newbzor XD 07:26, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

Well, unfortunately for all of us, Cajek isn't around right now. You will have to ask someone else to help you out on this one. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:55, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

Well, Since you're not around...

You won't care this is a little late:

Jolly Black Santa's Christmas Wish I am sure there are many guys who are bored and horny. Maybe you are on vacation and didn't go home for the holidays. Maybe you are married, or bi, or just plain curious about being with a guy. Maybe you are tipsy and feel adventerous. Anyway, I am here alone, a 42 yo JBS, two hundred and eighty-five pounds, 5'9", from the South Pole. Age, race, experience level not important; I am only looking for a good time. If you're serious, let's talk. No games. Wishing you and yours a Happy Holidays and a Zana Christmas, ~ Zana Dark

P.S. I restored a little something for you on the Peter Jackson Wikia. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 03:30, 26 December 2009

Need adoption......

Well......The title says it all - Zombotek 07:20, December 28, 2009 (UTC)

Sorry dude. Cajek is like, out of town. Indefinitely. Maybe you should try someone else. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:30, 28 December 2009

Cajek, we need you!

Cajek, we need you in the development of the following articles:

• User:Joe9320/If You Seek Amy (theory)
• User:Joe9320/Tram

ARE YOU WITH ME OR NOT? |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 02:53, January 1, 2010 (UTC)

Random Rape

Have a nice day--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 02:57, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

CAJEK COME BACK carrot lol 04:23 January 17

Cajek, our leader!

We must make you admin! And you can ban us! |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 09:59, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Silly Cejak

Won't you come back to us? Grad school is so overrated. Uncyclopedia is where all the REAL thrills are! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 19:46, Mar 17 2010

This noob wishes to meet the legend. And then watch him get banned for existing.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 20:25, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

To Cajek from the Goa Tse Clan

Join me, Cajek, and I'll make you a face that is the GRRREATEST in Uncyclopedia. Or else you will DIE! |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 03:46, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling...

...that I get my own Cajek archive named after me. Goo ol' XXI. :) Hi. Do you still get banned? I'm sorta out of touch with the Uncyclopedia world. And I forget how you guys talk, too. How am I supposed to talk? /me walks off looking embarrassed. - [15:32 3 August 2010] PlebYettie

Lolz. Cajek. You have been gone a while, haven't you Yettie? --UU - natter 15:39, Aug 3

Keitei and Splarka were only saying the same thing the other day... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Was SBU there? --UU - natter 15:43, Aug 3

Good times, man.....good times.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

SBU? Saying what? What's wrong with Cajek? Is he not called that anymore? /me looks even more confused and embarrassed. And wait you still use /me right? Or is that now out of favour? - [15:48 3 August 2010] PlebYettie

See most of the posts above this one on this page? See how they say things like "come back Cajek"? See how one refers to something called "grad school"? See the connection? One thing hasn't changed though: I am still awesome. See how you haven't been to my talk page yet despite the fact that I gave you a friendly ban only this morning? You should totally do something about that. I may even reply to you. Tomorrow. Because it's 5 o'clock now so I'm off home. 'Bye! --UU - natter 15:57, Aug 3

You banned me? Oh wow that does make me feel loved! :D And no, to be honest, i didn't read the other posts...I see. That would explain things. Oh well. Consider this post for old time's sake. i didn't want to pester everyone, but i'm off to your talkpage now. And yes, UU, undoubtedly you are still awesome. And hang on, were you an admin when I left Uncyc?? - [16:02 3 August 2010] PlebYettie

He became an admin before you left, you just didn't notice. So Yettie, what gender are you now? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:03, 3 August 2010

A certified dude, for the moment, I'm afraid. And how are you, what have you been doing? Feel like commenting on something? I'm a bit rusty at this whole writing thing. - [22:19 3 August 2010] PlebYettie

Cajek, Mah Boi!

Since you've been not existing for a long time, I'm going to be removing you off the adopters list, in an effort to make it easier for noobs to find an adopter who's active. Feel free to add yourself back if you become more active at any time in the future. Cheers. -RAHB 05:26, September 18, 2010 (UTC)

Huray

	Runner-Up Writer of the Last 5.5 Years, Aghand Place

But this doesn't mean that we miss you. --UU - natter 08:04, Oct 28

Oh dear!

Oh Dear...

Beware! The evil eye is upon thee!

Hello, Cajek, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• If you're a vandal, this may be your wake up-call!
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above four links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 04:52, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

sssshhhhit   Le Cejak • <4:57 Jan 24, 2011>

Just passing through? --UU - natter 09:35, Jan 24

Come out come out who ever you are......a window is opened and woman swears in a heavy Austrian accent. The light falls on a face hiding in the doorway..is it..?...but then kicking a cat, the shadowy figure runs off towards the Soviet sector before disappearing into the sewer...(to be continued)...--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:58, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

Cajek, I hate ye, and I hope ye may get BLOC'D for years to come, aye. --Sgt Pepper's 20:46, April 14, 2011 (UTC)

Yo Cajek,

MrN WAZ YER! MrN 13:39, May 28

Consider this my official "I'm back" speech. Not forever, probably, but for a good while.

I can't be uninvolved with Uncyclopedia like I once was. It's not that I like this place; in fact, parts of it annoy me on a regular basis. If it wasn't for this site I'd get eight hours of sleep every night. I'm not back to cause any drama or anger or whatnot, unless it's totally necessary or if I can think of some good insults. I'm just returning because this place, deep down, is awesome, and I want to make it more awesome.

I've got college, work, and website clients to deal with, and if I don't have someplace where I feel my presence is constructive I'm going to get rather disappointed in myself. On top of that, I've virtually stopped writing, and I need to start up again somewhere. Uncyclopedia has suddenly caught my interest again.

That being said, I'm telling you this because you and I started and subsequently abandoned the UnSignpost, but it's somehow managed to survive through the years from the contributions of other users, which, frankly, amazes me to no end. And you remember Fnoodle? That guy is back in action with some actual coding behind him. And Uncyclopedia At A Glance is not only in mainspace, it's in the bleedin' sidebar. Somewhere, somehow, this place continues to be actually pretty decent and might even make a recovery, who knows?

I don't know what the future holds, so I'm not going to say. I'll still be taking a breather from here once in a while when the drama or the coding gets to be too much. But seriously, get your ass back here. We've got a wiki to conquer. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:54 May 22, 2011

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA --Roman Dog Bird 03:32, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

Cajek!

Hi I am some guy you don't know but I've heard about you, and I'd like to say your a pretty cool guy! -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 07:14, June 24, 2011 (UTC)

Cajek has a responsible job. He has hung up his Uncyclopedia romper suit for now. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:40, June 24, 2011 (UTC)

No he was here like a second ago! -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 07:41, June 24, 2011 (UTC)

Hey, I saw that

Just as long as "not contributing very much" doesn't mean "not contributing ever". --UU - natter 09:53, Jun 24

• peeks around corner, disappears*   Le Cejak • <23:26 Jun 24, 2011>

__SOMECAJEK__ ? --UU - natter 11:11, Jun 27

GET

ON FUCKING IRC NOW

EMERGENCY. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 23:59, June 24, 2011 (UTC)

You should do that again. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:41 Jun 25, 2011

hold on I'm workin'   Le Cejak • <17:42 Jun 25, 2011>

Did I just miss Cajek's return? Damn it. Anyways, i'm Lollipop and I seem to be inactive at the moment. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:24, 25 June 2011

Hey man

Thanks for fixing my userpage. It works way better now. I didn't know you knew how to Internet! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 20:17 Jun 25, 2011

July 15: International "Ban Cajek" Day

Looked like you tried to pop in here today after Socky banned you. I've unblocked. It'd be nice to have you make a guest appearance and wave to the village idiots your adoring fans for IBCD 2011. ~ T. (talk) 15:40, July 15, 2011 (UTC)

Deturn

Y U No visit? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 15:51, December 14, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost

Dear Cajek, I just subscribed to UnSignpost and I CAN'T WAIT to get my first issue! So could you tell me when I should expect to get my first subscription. Right now where I live, it's 4:58 PM, so could you tell me when I should expect to get it? (in Pacific Standard Time)

Answer me on my talk page please and P.S. Don't put any spam on my paper or I'll throw the paper right away without even checking for the coupons . -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 00:58, January 12, 2012 (UTC)

Never mind, already got it, can't wait to read it. -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 01:11, January 12, 2012 (UTC)

Awarding of the Fake Pegasus Award, 2008

(Come back and write mucho more) Hereby is presented unto you the unprestigious Fake Pegasus Award for writing the most features in 2008. Your 19.5 features that year blows the mind and other things of people of ungood character. Congratulations! Winners are listed at the bottom of my awards page, and I'll (probably) prepare a separate page for the award soon. Did you come back yet? Aleister 1:56 30 December '12

Fake Pegasus Award for most featured articles of the year: 2008

The admins can not ban you

Forum:Last person to block Cajek victory for Socky?? Seriously. Check your block log. You are invincible! MrN 19:35. Mar 12. 2013

Just to let you know

We have just sent a message to lots of users on this wiki asking them to come back and save Uncyclopedia. But not you. JFC 18:23. Jun 7

Especially not him. Not after that rough cavity search, no thank you. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers

That was the best part. Certainly his best part. --Nikau (talk) 05:52, 21 September 2014 (UTC)

Welcome!

Hello, Cajek, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
• Votes for Highlight Page - read the very best articles and have your say about what goes onto our front page
• Pee Review - a place to get detailed feedback on your articles

Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the community forum or in the chatroom, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Stranger195 (talk • contribs • guestbook • wt • aotm • unf) 10:33, 25 September 2015 (UTC)

It's beginning to look a lot like…

See you next year! The first annual *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition has officially ended for 2021

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Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?

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Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny — Sign Up Today! (pretty please)  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 14:33, 13 December 2021