Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Glenn Beck (rewrite)
Glenn Beck [edit source]
Dare Devil 13:33, November 5, 2010 (UTC)
| Humour: | 5 | First of all, I love the way you approached this article. This type of article (one written in the style of its subject) is used pretty often, and not always to great results. But you definitely pulled it off pretty well. Nice job capturing Glenn Beck's signature tone; I can vividly picture him reciting this monologue and staring psychotically at the camera.
That being said, I feel like there were a dearth of real laugh-out-loud moments in this article. Some of the jokes didn't really make any sense in the context of the article. In particular, the bit about Federalists and wigs, and the thing about condoms felt out of place. I do like how you bounced around haphazardly from subject to subject, but it doesn't seem cohesive enough. For example, when you talk about the sweatshops, it doesn't make sense to say tenements (I assume that's what you meant by tenants) were "cramped and smelly", then follow it up by saying that they "had little, if any downside". Instead, I suggest you continue raving about how sweatshops contributed to the glory of capitalism, like you did with the slavery section below. Lastly, I feel that since the article is entitled "Glenn Beck", more of the content should be about Glenn Beck himself. |
| Concept: | 7 | Like I said above, I love the concept. The idea is great; it's the execution that needs a little work. The way the article rambles about everything from wild conspiracy theories to bizarre historical reimaginings really reflects the weird style of Beck's show. All in all, this is a nice satirical piece. |
| Prose and formatting: | 5 | This is definitely the weakest aspect of the article. The formatting is pretty good, but you might want to switch around the images so the text isn't so scattered. However, the writing needs a lot of work. I spotted a lot of typos (I'll get around to fixing them). Also, you misused a few words, and your ideas generally don't flow. Don't worry, though, this can be easily fixed with some proofreading and editing. I plan on doing a lot of work on this article if that's ok. |
| Images: | 8 | While the images could use a little variety, the nonsensical rambling on Beck's chalkboard was the highlight of the article for me. And the captions were great, and a few of them made me chuckle. The images also complemented the text well; I like how you kept drawing the reader's attention to the chalkboard. Good job. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6 | Overall opinion. |
| Final Score: | 31 | It's good start, with a very solid concept; just needs a lot of editing. Solid effort for a first article. |
| Reviewer: | -- Phlegm Leoispotter * (garble! jank!) 00:43, November 6, 2010 (UTC) | |
Comment. The images and the text are looking just fine to me. I'm using Mozilla Firefox by the way. 
